Please help me to enjoy DD

[aliphil]

DD is 7 weeks old and adorable. The trouble is, she feeds for so long (up to 1.5 hours at a stretch) and painfully. I suspect she has a tongue tie, and am working on getting help for this. Meanwhile, she feeds for ages and won't sleep in the daytime unless held. (Yes, I have a sling. It does help sometimes, but it's such a faff to put it on and get her settled in it that sometimes it doesn't seem worth it.) DH helps in the evenings, but the days feel very long.

The trouble is, if I'm honest, I want her to fit in with me rather than the other way round. I want to be able to do some of the things I like doing and still be able to spend time gazing at her and playing and stuff, but when she's awake and happy is the only time I can put her down and do something I want to do. People keep telling me to enjoy this stage as it's so short, but I'm feeling so ground down by it all. I know this is all very selfish but I don't know how to change my mindset. Can anyone help or advise?

Also try and take some spatone or floradix (gentle iron supplements).

I don't think a 2 hour cycle would work for us as she feeds for up to an hour and a half at a time. Also I don't understand what you mean about getting her to sleep - how is this possible? sigh People talk about routines but I don't understand how you get from demand feeding to a routine.

I have some arnica bubble bath, but I've been strictly forbidden to put anything on the wound or in the bath, apart from lavender and/or tea tree oil. Cushions - yes! And feeding in bed when I can. Why the iron? I'm taking a multivitamin which includes iron, but I'd really rather not take any more; it was prescribed when I left hospital and gave me a very unpleasant couple of weeks with the wound due to the constipation.

We have an appointment at a tongue tie clinic next Monday - fingers crossed that will sort things!

By rocking her to sleep if she needs a nap. Overtired babies are a nightmare. So if she's been awake for say an hour in the morning, then get her to sleep by rocking/cuddling/taking for a walk etc. some babies tolerate a bit longer being awake, some slightly less. Ok if two hourly won't work, then that's fine it was just a suggestion.

You can do a routine with regards to sleep - it doesn't mean set times for things, just watch for tired signs and encourage sleep as per above. Or if no tired signs go by the clock of say nap after 60/90 mins awake. Then feed in demand in between. Im just wondering if your baby gets too tired hence being very grumpy. Overtired babies really are hard work, I have been there (also been there with the tongue tie).

Tea tree oil - yes that's the one I meant. I used arnica bubble bath and was fine but if you've been told no then just use tea tree and when you rinse during a wee, put tea tree in the water. Same with a drop on your sanitary pads. Iron levels usually take a dip post birth. Boost that and aid healing.. Spatone doesn't give you constipation, it's wonderful stuff. Same for floradix which is multi vitamin.

Actually I could kind of see that working over the last couple of days when we've been away - she would feed, then maybe doze for a few minutes, then want to be put down (yes!) and have a kick, then get grizzly and need to be cuddled and fall asleep. That was in the daytime; in the evenings she skipped the wanting to be put down but wouldn't go to sleep either.

They're going to put me on different antibiotics for the wound so maybe that will help things clear up - but I can't have alcohol with them!

It's a real culture shock adjusting to having a baby. Consider formula he you are crying in pain, that yo le solve one problem. Can you listen to music or watch tv whilst feeding? Get a box set dvd ?

It's got better all of a sudden - I even managed to get some sewing done (one thing I forgot to mention). I can sometimes watch TV when feeding but it depends how agitated she is and how painful it gets.

I'd rather not go down the formula route if I can avoid it. Nothing wrong with it, it's just not where I want to be. So far bloody-mindedness has kept me going.