Hi, As the subject says, my daughter is very overweight. She is 5 and wearing age 10 clothes...
Firstly, some background history. When my eldest daughter was born (my first child), I was young and pretty clueless. It was only that an older mum at the playgroup who was pregnant the same time, mentioned a cook book that she had used and would be using when her soon to be born was at the weaning stage. It got me thinking, and I invested in the book, and the first year of her life, she was brought up on a varied and nutritious diet of home cooked food.
For some reason, I got into bad habits and introduced chocolate, biscuits, smiley faces, fish fingers etc. etc. (Can I just add, that I was brought up on a balanced diet - treats at the weekend, a take a way once in a blue moon, salads, fruits a plenty.) My daughter's dad however, was brought up on freezer foods and fast food junk. I was too immature to impose house rules i.e. "We all eat xyz or no one eats", so, I accommodated the needs of my own and my daughters dad and my daughter ended up with a somewhere in between, then eventually, refusing healthier meals in favour of crap- my fault completely, I acknowledge this.
Anyway, when I had my second daughter, I was older, wiser (so I thought), and determined to not slip into those bad habits. Again, youngest daughter was given balanced meals, lots of fruit and veg, rice cakes...and the bare minimal of 'treats' when she hit 2, she began getting very ill and ended up in hospital numerous times. The peadiatricion said that her immune was low and she was underweight, therfore we would need to 'fatten her up' so that she could recover better from illnesses, and hopefully not get ill as much. (Can I confirm that I never underfed her- she ate from all the food groups but she never ate enough in regards to portions even though she was given a suitable amount)
We were advised adding full fat cream to her weetabix or porridge, allowing more chocolate or full fat products - stupidly (on reflection), I took their advice on board and overnight slipped back into those old habits! Don't get me wrong, she took weeks on end to respond to the foods. But needless to say, once she got the taste, there was no going back for her.
Three years down the line and we have an overweight young daughter, who I feel ever so sad for. She has friends, hasn't been bullied, and never complains about it, but she looks very uncomfortable and obviously I have many worries for her, her health and emotional wellbeing as she becomes more aware.
The one thing I'll say, is that she still loves most vegetables, ricecakes, LOVES fruit especially berries. But she seems to have an obsession with food in general and thinks she is always hungry and has to eat. On top of the healthy stuff, I have also given her chocolate, freezer foods mentioned above (50/50) crisps etc. We as a family don't have take aways though.
Iv'e allowed this for so long now, and the less active she has become, the quicker the weight gain. She eats fast too. I've tried numerous times to encourage her to eat slow and chew - but she forgets most of the time.
With my eldest daughter, she began to tolerate and eventually enjoy a more healthier palate. I enforced this when I had my youngest daughter as wanted us all to be healthier. She still eats a bit of junk, but she is sensible and as a result is reasonably slim.
I know the blame lies directly with me - I'm not looking for someone else to blame and I fully expect many readers on mn will be incensed by me. I'm angry with my poor judgement and decisions in the past and present. The thing is, I KNOW how to cook/eat healthy, I know what's right and wrong, but I can't stay focused enough to follow something through for long. At the moment, I've told her (well both girls) that weekdays, they are allowed no bad food with exception to a couple of plain biscuits of an evening, but the weekend, they can have a few indulgences. I've been doing this for three weeks, and I'm not noticing any results with my youngest. She still has that puffy look. Anyway, today, I found myself breaking the rules!! why?! I was angry with myself and realised that things will never change if I don't stick to what I have said.
Ironically, I feel very educated on healthy eating. My fridge always has fresh fruit, veg, skimmed milk etc. It makes me feel ashamed to say, but I have found it hard to not give in to my youngest even though I know it's kinder to say "no". I don't feel like groups such as MEND or healthy eating classes are going to be beneficial to me as I know what;s what. The issue is simply me imposing it and sticking to it.
I've managed to not give in over the last few weeks with exceptions to weekends and today's blip. But I'm worried I'll gradually slip into old ways like I did today.
I know the solution to my problem - I know it's me, but any advice or shared experience would be really helpful...
Thank you in advance