Absentminded/forgetful 8yr old DS. How can I help him cope better at school?

[pepperrabbit]

DS1 is 8, just gone up to Year 4 and is struggling to keep track of everything. He's bright, loves reading, not bothered by maths, enjoys sport and is reluctant to do homework.
All very normal.
But, he forgets so many things, loses stuff then gets upset, and the school have a policy of no parents going in or up to the classrooms at any time - you drop them off outside the gate, collect the same so I've yet to meet his new teacher. I'm struggling to help him.
He came home with someone elses coat yesterday, he needs his waterproof for after school sports TODAY so I've had to send him with DS2s in case he can't find his/the other boy doesn't bring his back.
He has no homework diary. I sent it in 2 weeks ago signed for that lot of homework, haven't seen it since - I have no idea what spellings/tables or project he should be working on.
I've sent 2 notes to the teacher asking for a replacement/help finding the old one/ copy homework but nothing. I hate nagging (him or the teacher!), but he just seems to be a bit lost and it seems too trivial to book a teacher appointment.
In Y3 he lost his entire DRAWER, the whole thing, not just the contents . Sigh.
He's upset when he realises he's lost something, but seems incapable of managing it all by himself. I make sure he's at school early so he does have time to try
Any tips? Anything that might help? Or is the kindest thing to let him get on with it and learn the hard way

at the whole lost drawer!

Do you pick him up from school? If so, when he comes out, can you have a look in his bag and say, "have you got your homework diary?", "have you got your coat?" etc etc and keep making him go back in for stuff?

My ds2 in yr 2 has tendencies that way, and in the morning I'd tell him, I expect his diary home tonight...and I expect him to come home with a new book. So, the expectation is that he does it and he is responsible....but I will remind him morning and evening!

You have my sympathy.
My DS was like this and incurred the wrath of the school frequently. Eventually I got fed up of the school complaining about sending a disciplinary slip home every monday informing me that he didn't have his gym kit - he didn't because he'd lost it in school.
If your DS can't manage these things then the school needs to help him. Perhaps you could make an appointment to ask the staff what help they can offer your DS to avoid you having years of niggles and last minute panics.

I'm glad I'm not alone!
I do send him back the days I collect him, he's picked up by a childminder when I work so apart from helicopter parenting texting her to remind her of the things he may forget those days.
I think I'll give it another week and then make an appointment with the teacher. I need to make them aware - though i think the Y3 teacher should perhaps have handed over this info...