as they may appreciate how I feel.
Had a really good day until about 7pm. I'd got some washing done, had all the socks sorted and ready to put away, done the ironing that was left, had dinner cooked, boys changed for bed (ok 1hr early but I didn't care), been to Morrisons for the shopping, boys behaving really nicely no bickering. Then................
I came upstairs for 10 minutes to put the clothes and socks away. Could here laughing and giggling and thought nothing of it - just happy they weren't tearing each other's throats out. Got downstairs to discover half the toy box had been put into DH's fishtank - battery operated toy screwdriver, cars, a book, one of those 'water' drawing boards, some jigsaw pieces, a soft dog that you squeeze his tummy and he yaps like a puppy, pencil crayons - the lot all in there. Plus one of them had used one of the pencils to break some of the polystyrene stuff DH has under the fish tank to protect the surface it's on - so I had little bits of that all over the carpet. All that in the time it takes to put a few loads of clothes away 
DS1 admitted straight away that he had 'helped' his brother (later confession revealed that he'd put most of the toys in there....) put them in there. Usually that sort of thing would be a rare 'immidiate smack' offence - but I was so angry I didn't dare smack him as I knew I'd lose it. I didn't even have it in me to send him to the 'naughty step' (actualy the mat in the - downstairs - bathroom) - so just made both of them sit on the sofa while I tidied up.
I did shout (a bit), but was so angry I didn't dare carry out any type of real punishment. I've just put them in bed - and wondered if any other 'smacking' parents ever didn't give their child a smack for something they would usully get a smack for - because they felt too angry to do it???
Guess this is a load of garbled nonsense - but I'm soooo angry and upset I had to get it out.....off for a whisky now.