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Parenting

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Original poster

Attention seeking wetting bed?

17 replies

TuTu · 20/03/2006 20:09

My 3 yr old DS has been potty trained day and night for 6 months, but has been wetting the bed every night for the last week, within 20 mins of being put to bed . This is on the back of us having real trouble getting him off to sleep at night, with him trying every trick in the book to get us up - I need a tissue/a drink/a story/ etc. We have been saying to him every night that if needs to pee, just to get up and go himself. But every night he wets the bed whilst still awake then calls us up and we have to change him & the bed - always greeted by a smile when we come in. Have warned him the last 2 days that if he keeps doing this will have to put him back in nappies which he totally hated the idea of. But after wetting after being in bed 10 mins had to follow through and put him in a nappy. He was really upset and I feel totally wretched about it. Find it awful to have upset him. Told him that tomorrow the nappy will be off and he can go to the toilet himself like we asked. Did I do the right thing? Anyone else gone through anything like this? Thanks

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Original poster

TuTu · 20/03/2006 20:27

Bump!

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NannyL · 20/03/2006 20:38

if its attention seeking dont give him any attention...

for a few night say nothing and make no eye contact at all.

change it as quickly as possible without getting into any converstaion and ignor anything he says... dont reply etc.

As soon as its done just walk out.

soon he will get bored when it doesnt get the attention desired IUSWIM

Also combine with a start chart for staying dry should help! Im sure once hes managed a week without doing it the 'habit' will be broken!

Original poster

TuTu · 20/03/2006 21:15

Thanks NannyL. Yes will try that out - had tried before but he just sucks you in somehow with a million and one questions trying to engage you in conversation. Know I need to do something to get out of this current situation.

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juuule · 20/03/2006 21:23

At 3, is he worried about going to the toilet alone? Or maybe he just feels lonely going by himself. Which might be why he smiles when you go in because he is really pleased to see you. How about before you leave him you ask him does he need the toilet and whether he says he does or he doesn't, take him and let him try. And just bear in mind that it's just a phase and it won't last forever.

getbakainyourjimjams · 20/03/2006 21:32

If it continues buy a kylie. Put it on top of the sheet- if he wets that you can whip it off and replace really quickly (without him even having to get out of bed).

Ds1 wets his bed all the time on purpose at the moment- kylies are my lifesavers.

spidermama · 20/03/2006 21:35

Mine started weeing in his bed every night after having been dry for at least six months. A year on he's still in night nappies. I can't fathom it.

Moomin · 20/03/2006 21:38

dd2 has just started doing this - admittedly she's a year older but it's definitely for attention - a late reaction to the attention we give her new baby sister we think as she's been dry since she was 2 and a half.

she's stopped it now and we followed same advice as NannyL suggested - ignored her when we went in to change sheets (despite the million and one converstaion openers! so i know how you feel) and started her star chart up again with a small reward for each dry week. so far so good....

spidermama · 20/03/2006 21:40

I tried all sorts of rewards/ingoring/bedclothes changing strategies with my 3 (now 4) year old to no avail.

I have two ideas left. Laziness or food intolerance.

Judd · 20/03/2006 21:58

Our 4 year old DD started bed wetting after a good 4 months of being bone dry at night. My husband said he thought it was intentional and I was in two minds. Everyone I spoke to seemed surprised that we could think such a thing. However.....we have gone back to dry beds every night ever since we introduced the Chocolate Button Box. One chocolate button in a tiny box, nestled snugly on cotton wool, which is presented by mummy at 7.30am if the bed is dry.
I also have an almost 2 year old DS and wonder now if DD felt there was an attention imbalance which bedwetting somehow rectified. She would never wake us in the night when her bed was wet, and seemed quite happy to go on sleeping in it despite there being a potty and toilet roll next to her bed!

Original poster

TuTu · 20/03/2006 22:07

Thank you all for the replies. Juule I am keeping myself sane repeating "its just a phase, just a phase!!" Really interesting Moomin about link to baby sister. DS1 has a 10 month old baby brother who he has just recently started to have run-ins with as DS2 now into all his toys. Every so often he randomly bashes DS2 on the head with one of the toys which is so totally against his previous gentle nature! Wonder is it all linked then. Spiderama really hope you and I get progress soon! Jimjams - whats a kylie??

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Original poster

TuTu · 20/03/2006 22:08

Judd - will keep the magical button box up my sleeve if things dont improve soon!

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getbakainyourjimjams · 20/03/2006 22:17

\link{http://www.blushingbuyer.co.uk/acatalog/Bed_and_Chair_Protectors.html\kylie bed pads} The only thing keeping me sane at the moment. Poor old ds2 loves his kylie (they're very soft) but I've had to nick it from him so I can rotate the 3 (one on ds1's bed, one in the wash, one drying). He's doing it on purpose as well.

Original poster

TuTu · 20/03/2006 22:25

Thanks Jimjams

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Londoner · 21/03/2006 08:55

Hi, had the same thing here too, and figured it seemed to coincide with starting school. Could this be the same for you? Could you take charge of the situation by gently saying if he needs you to take him to the loo you'll come and take him? And then he'll feel better and hopefully settle again. This worked for me. It could be an easier solution than waiting for him to wet the bed and then going up and changing sheets etc. Bed wetting is often a sign of some sort of anxiety in a child who was previously dry, so perhaps an extra load of tlc is in order, but under your terms rather than his. Sounds like you're having a really hard time, and a bit of tlc with him might really help you too as you say you didn't like telling him off for it? As some of the others say, it is a phase and it will stop. The Kylie pads sound like they could be reassuring for him, you could tell him you're putting them on his bed 'just in case' so he can relax?
Best of luck to you, and hang in there.

Original poster

TuTu · 21/03/2006 21:42

Touch wood but DS went down to bed like a dream tonight. When I was getting him into his jammies he said "no nappy tonight mummy I'm a big boy", and I said thats right, he was a big boy, and he just smiled and that was it. Not a chirp out of him! Hasnt gone down like that for weeks. Fingers crossed this keeps up

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Moomin · 21/03/2006 22:32

gald tonights gone well. i definitely think it's linked to baby. She was lovely when dd2 was born and i think because of the age gap has coped very well on the surface. dd1 strted pre-school this year, about a month before dd2 was born so dd1 has started off on her own little agenda, which we thought was good timing as the focus can be on the baby whilst dd1 is at pre-school. but we're aware that, at the moment, the baby can do no wrong in dd1's eyes - she never gets told off etc. whereas dd1 does! a bit of a delayed reaction i spose.

Andrewdavid1 · 04/08/2018 22:21

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