2.5 dd running away in the street...

[Fabmummy]

when we are out I often left my dd 2.5yrs walk home once we get away from the busy roads. The roads are nice and quiet and up until now she has been great walking with me and being quite good for a toddler.

But today she has pushed me to my limits. This morning she ran off in the opposite direction, even looking at me and smiling as she did it. I let her go a little bit, thinking she would come back in the end if did not make a fuss. But then she went to step off the pavement into the road, arrrrgggg. So I ran and grabbed her.

Then this afternoon we had to go back to the shops and coming back she did exactly the same.

Both times I have told her off about it and gone through the whole naughty step thing but she still seemed to think it was really funny doing it this afternoon.

what can I do?

We have this at the moment and we go through with the threat to stick her on reins or stick her back in the buggy, "like a baby". We then get "I good girl now" for about 30 metres and then...pow! She's off again...
Dh and I disagree on this a little which may not help. I, like you, think she has to learn and am OK to let her trot along a little ahead. He is more easily panicked and tends to want her to walk to heel...
If yours is like mine she will find reins much less amusing than the naughty step, and you can deploy them immediately rather than wait to get home.

Gosh this sounds familiar!

At one point I was so cross that I smacked DS (he is 2.6yrs and this is just a month or two ago) I don't agree with smacking to a point, but in this case my argument was that I wanted him to learn that running out onto a road = pain, and hell of a lot more pain than mummy smacking him should he get hurt. I asked our H.V. Whilst she understood why I did it, she said should the wrong person see and complain about me I could be in serious trouble.

In the end we were watching t.v. The hospital programme on BBC3. I know this is awful but there was a man who'd been in an accident and was v.poorly. I blurted out "look DS, thats what happens when you run out in a road, that naughty man didn't hold hands crossing the road and now he is very sad and poorly" DS looked shocked and I tell you has only messed me around once since. He says "hold hands mummy, not get runned over"
I know i'll get another bad mummy badge for exposing DS to such horrible tactics, but with DS it seems to be "if you can't prove I'll get hurt mummy, I won't believe you!"

However, if you don't fancy such tatics, why don't you let your DD take a simple little pushchair (Wilkos do them for £3.99 if she hasn't already got one) with her baby in? Or if she runs off, put her on reins or back in her buggy until she learns that run off = punishment?

I know it's really worrying, I hope you resolve it soon, you have my sympathy.

do an outside time out

warn her .. if she doesn't come back then get hold of her .. make her hold on to the pushchair for 2.5 minutes (you can hold her hand on to the pushchair) and ignore her

time out needs to be instantly executed

Fabmummy if i were you i would buy a strap from mothercare only a few pounds, and when you are allowing her to walk a little on way home i would attach it to your dd, it will let her know not to run off(well she won't be able to) and if you can explain to her the strap stays on until she stops running from you, when you feel you have her trust try taking the strap off one day and see if it works out for you both, however if your dd makes a break for it, explain the strap must go on, keep doing it until she clicks

Can i also say that although we want to protect our children, scare tatics don't always work with children of that age because they don't fully understand the dangers of cars on roads, to them in their little world a car seems safe to them as they travel and go places in it, its not until an older age that they associate dangers with pain

DS is 4.5 and I've only v recently started to let him walk without holding my hand! Partly beause I fear the difficulty of the 'chase effect' if you have to grab them - and also i am worried that if a dog came along, he would definitley dash into the road to avoid it.

I think I would resume constant hand holding.

Mumatuks: I (particularly) wouldn't smack in this situation because if your child is running towards the road, they will run all the harder if they think you are trying to catch them to smack them!

Blu I agree with you on the smacking, it was just my reaction at that time. I haven't done it since but i wrote it because it was IME. I once a kid get run over, he was wearing an outfit that looked just like my little brothers, I have never forgotten that. I'm terrified of it happening. You have made a very good point though. (The H.V. didn't mention that...!)

Kidstrack I also agree with the scare tatics not helping every time. It's a good point. However with DS nothing seems to work, unless it is proved it has serious concequences. You're welcome to meet him and try and sort him out for me!!

Mumatuks - you're not alone, either! Every time there is a smacking/no-smacking debate on MN people queue up and say 'I have never smacked DS/D except when s/he ran into the road'. It is a reaction to do with the parents (understandable ) panic rather than an efective strategy

sorry had to pop off for a bit, the tesco man arrived with my shopping:)

thanks for your ideas. makes me feel better knowing she is not theonly one however frustrating it gets. I think I will get her reins out again and we also have one of those straps from when she was first starting to walk on her own, think that sounds like a good tactic and one she certainly won't want to have too often.

mumatuks, she has one of those little pushchairs and that often works but she sometimes gets bored of it and wants to walk freely.

Walk nicely or back in your pushchair is working with us at the moment. He forgets after a while and then legs it again, but its getting longer in between iyswim.