8 year old desperate to go on a trip...

[0liverb0liverbuttface]

But DH totally against it.

DD8 has the opportunity to go on a 2 night/3 day orchestral course ( she plays the violin) It is an annual council run event that mums of older children say is fantastic. Her best friend is going and DD is absolutely desperate to go.

But...she is one of the youngest in her year and nut allergic. DH is dead set against her going - thinks it is risky as we don't know the people supervising and there will be (literally) 100's of children's there - so any issue with her could be missed.

I don't want to be over protective (although I worry constantly about the children!) and stop her learning to be independent. But I do think she is quite young, she is an anxious child so might struggle, and the nut allergy worries me too.

What do you think? Would you let your y4 child go?

Thanks for any views.

Can you not go too? Would they be needing extra help?

I rang and asked that and tbh got a bit side tracked by the lady - who didn't seem keen on extra volunteers but was v positive about the course and the quality of the supervision - and I didnt push. I should ring again - because that would be an ideal solution.

I'd let her go - you can never know who's supervising. Unless you expect CVsamd interviews with all the staff first

How does she manage her allergy? She should be pretty self sufficient with it now shouldn't she? I'd also bet that the entire place will be nut free - the staff won't want to take any risks!

She should also feel pretty secure if her friends going ?

It's not at a boarding schol is it? If so the house staff will be responsible for pastoral stuff, and the council staff will be doing the actual musical stuff so you probably wouldn't be able to go. You'd have to be crb checked if you did.

no its at some conference centre type place. They do have parents supervising.

I take your point and I think DH is being over protective, but I do have some concerns.

She only reacted 18 months ago and has only ever had one reaction, so she has never had to deal with it herself as the first time was A&E and pretty scarey.

My dd is nine next month and she can't manage her allergy to peanuts. She's just not capable of it yet.

Ring them again.

My DD went on a y4 trip for 2nights/3days I wasn't keen on her going. She suffers from allergic reactions to various things. She came back confident and thrilled she had been allowed. If you're really worried, call them again and insist you'd like to go so you can prevent her from missing out.

Yes my dd is going away for two nights/three days for year three camp in November and I'm not worried about that allergy wise as its a school thing and even though there are 120 children in her year level, the staff all know who she is and have all had the epipen training.

We sent dd1 on an overnight school
Trip in year4. She has autism and major anxiety issues. She was ok, but was a huge amount of work for us and school but her confidence was so worth it.
I would try and go with her because of her allergy. If not could you stay near by and help in the day?

Have you asked the organising lady what their plan is for supporting children with allergies. In a gathering that large, I'm sure your DD won't be the only child with this problem and I'm sure they will already have some plans in place. At least their reply will give you a feel about how seriously they take allergies.

Thanks for all the replies. I'm going to ring again today and ask about volunteering.

As a compromise, could you stay with her nearby and bring her in daily? You could send her in with her own lunch/snacks so that you don't need to worry about the catering.

Orchestra courses are so much fun, and so motivating (I did loads as a child). It would be a shame for her to miss out - but she is very young, and I can well understand your anxieties.

I think one of the exciting things is staying overnight - they sleep in rooms of 6 so she will be with all her friends.

I rang about volunteering and they have said that they are reducing parent helpers this year as the cost to the council is too high - £70 just for the CRB check they said. Anyway she is ringing back but it won't be until Friday...DD is beside herself and DH is immovable about her not going.

It's really frustrating.

Your DH needs to let her go. His anxieties are understandable but he needs to swallow them and give your DD the chance to do this with her friends. he is holding her back because of his worries and that is not fair on your DD. She will miss out on such a great opportunity and that would be down to him.

Yes, the allergy thing is an issue. But the place will be used to dealing with allergies. Allergies are not uncommon. There will be things in place to deal with it and to keep her secure. And at 8y your DD is also old enough to understand her own allergy and to an extent be able to work with the staff regarding it.

Yes I would let my Y4 child go. My DD has been on 3 night residentials with school every year with school. She also, again from Y3, done weekend residentials every year at a local activity centre - with school friends, but no school staff, all external staff. And she has done PGL trips with Brownies as residentials too - and those involve 100s of children.

These kind of trips are so important to children. To miss out because of your DH's worries seems such a shame to your DD.