Mothers don't seem to respect each other anymore!!

[peppajay]

Why do so mums speak to other mums with such aggression and anger? We are all mums and we all have our own parenting problems but a nice polite word or and a negative comment said in a soft voice with a bit of respect does no harm.

We were at the park today and my 4 yr old unfortunately pushed a little boy, not the first time, my son can be very aggressive and mean but I know this and I watch him like a hawk so if he is about to push and shove I intervene and stop him or he is taken away. Unfortunately today my 6 yr old DD fell off the swing and i had to abandon watching him to tend to her and in this 2 min space he pushed a little boy over as he thought he was going to get to the slide first, but the abuse the mother gave me was shocking the way she spoke to me was so rude and aggressive and I thought she was going to spit in my face. Normally when my son does get aggressive with other children I always apologise profusely to the mother and most mothers are really nice and appreciate the apology, but some are just so aggressive and think their children are perfect and everyone elses are thugs. But because of the way this mother spoke to me and my son 'who is a little ' I didn't apologize to her for my sons behaviour. I have just had a text as she got my number off a mutual friend to say she has contacted social services as I am not fit to be a mother!!!

I know there are issues with him and I do try to deal with it as best I can. As I say I usually watch him like a hawk and unfortunately I couldnt be in 2 places at once I am by no way condoning what he did but I am just shocked at the way that some mothers speak to other mothers. It isn't just this particular lady but I see it alot not just with my son but generally. Mothers just don't seem to respect each other any more and aggression seems to take over!!

Honestly? I don't know what you are talking about. I have never had a negative experience with another mum (ds 2.2) and not even witnessed anything

It is the same when I read posts from mothers saying that people tut at them about this or that, or give them judgemental looks. Don't do it myself, and never been aware of anyone doing it to me.

I'd be going to a different park to be honest - sounds like it's a bit more aggressive than out should be round your way

I've not encountered this either but generally speaking I'd say it's more lioness and cubs than lack of respect.

Oh yes, and my boy is usually the aggressor, so I am not coming at this issue with an angel child who floats around the playground serenely. Far far from it in fact.

why would she have contacted social services?

why is your son aggressive towards other children? Have you asked for help in dealing with this other than just telling him off and taking him away from the situation? Have you investigated why this might be?

The other mother sounds like a fishwife - and your friend was very wrong to give out your phone number.

Regarding my sons behaviour he is so well behaved at school and nursery people think I over react and he is just being a boy but in a free environment he can be very aggressive and thrives on structure but unfortunately there are times where structure is not possible. He thrives on the attention he gets when he is aggressive because he is generally so good the rest of the time. He worries that someone else is going to get to the swing or seesaw first and if he sees another child going towards it this is generally when he hits or pushes.

She seriously got your number off a mutual friend so she could tell you she was reporting you to social services because your son pushed hers over?!

I have never come across any other parent as mad overzealous as this. (thankfully)

Can you just chalk it up to experience? Oh and explain to mutual 'friend' why you don't want them to give out your number.

Oh and i meant to say - if this woman contacts social services about this, they will laugh in her face! Does your DS have other friends his own age who he can spend time with to help him learn to share - its always a difficult issue, sharing, my DD is not very good at it but tends to whine and tittle tattle instead of being aggresive. I suppose he needs to learn tht it is OK not to be first etc - um, when you work out how to do that, tell me so i can tell my DD!!

Really, this other mother isn't worth worrying about. I would be more with your firend for giving out your number and would be telling her so in in no uncertain terms.

sounds like her DS is an only child...hed better grow up and get used to it because hes not going to be never punched or whacked again let alone been given a wee shove...and her molly coddling him is not helping either...I just tell them to get up they are big brave boys, and Im a CM I have all girls (who can be much worse but they use their tongues rather that their brawn)...

also any social worker will pish herself if she hears "that mother let her son push my son" I went to uni with a load of social workers, (I was a psych major so we shared a lot of classes) and they have actual real weans in danger to deal with they wont have time for this shite so dont worry your wee socks off and as for the mum who gave out your number you can tell her what an arse shes made of herself too

What has taken me aback since becoming a parent is the immaturity of some parents, and the cliques they form. i have unfortunately had a few run ins myself and it isn't pleasant, i'm not the confrontational kind as i believe if you are in fact an adult then any issues can be settled amicably, not everyone works like that as i am finding out. No child is perfect, i am very surprised by the lack of solidarity frankly, we are all in the same boat after all.

I have to say that on the whole I've found mums whose DC's have fallen foul of Ds's, well let's call it over-energetic, approach have been amazingly tolerant. I have learned much from them and been so grateful.

I think that it helps if a mum can see you're approach is firm in dealing with a situation. It goes a long sa to pacifying the situation.

That said I agree with the poster up thread that says SS will laugh in her face if she calls them. In fact she's a loon for even considering it and if I were you I'd give her an almighty swerve in future.

Yes sometimes that is the case and i don't give mine an inch if he 's done anything like that but not everyone is rational. I would avoid like the plague too, and what was so called mate thinking handing out her phone number, out of order.

Ignore her, to an extent kids Will be kids. It's near on impossible to keep your eye 100% on one child when you have 2+. I very much doubt ss I'll be interested.