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Parenting

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Original poster

Are we the only ones without any sort of routine?

21 replies

HairyToothbrush · 17/09/2012 09:37

DD is 12 months old. We have never had a routine for anything. She eats, sleeps, gets up and plays whenever she wants. We don't even have a bed time routine. This works fine for us but I was just wondering if there was anyone else who doesn't have a routine? Do you think routines are important? I wouldn't even know how to start getting her into one.

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peanutMD · 17/09/2012 09:53

I think its a personal thing, what suits your family won't suit another.

routine was always very important to us and helped me to cope in the beginning with all the new things I had to do with my DS. DS is now 6 and knows when he will be doing things depending in the time if day.

I have a friend who doesn't really do routines and whilst it worked fine until her DD started pre-school when she just couldn't core with the structure of the day. Her DD is now 5 Anne has just started school and is still struggling with being told when to get up, sit down, do homework and go to bed.

But then these are both anecdotal examples so may not apply in other cases.

peanutMD · 17/09/2012 09:54

Sorry meant to add, do you want to get into a routine it are you happy as things are?

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HairyToothbrush · 17/09/2012 09:57

Thank you for your reply. I hadn't even thought about nursery, school ect in the future. That is definitely something to think about.

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Original poster

HairyToothbrush · 17/09/2012 10:00

I would like to get into some sort of routine in the near further.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 17/09/2012 10:02

Of course you have a routine, unless it is just as likely that you'll do an 8 hour stint of sleeping from 10am as it is from 10pm and regularly go a few weeks without washing or brushing your teeth.

Your routine is probably just much looser than average.

NinjaChipmunk · 17/09/2012 10:02

does your dd have her own routine? By that I mean does she wake up around the same time most mornings? Does she get tired around the same time in the evenings? Does she have meals at fairly regular times? Do you go to any groups? I have a ds who has just started reception and a dd who is 11 weeks old. DD has sort of settled into her own routine of when she feeds and sleeps but also has to work around ds and his day. I think a bit of structure as they get older is good as they will need it when they start pre-school or reception as otherwise it will be a shock but at 12 months I wouldn't be too worried about it unless you want to introduce one yourself? How do you feel about it?

fhdl34 · 17/09/2012 10:15

DD is 8 months and we don't have a structured routine but she's pretty predictable in when she'll want to nap so I know from what time wakes (any time between 7-9) how the day will go. Today she woke at 8.45am and we're still BFing in bed as she's had a temperature since Saturday night and is off her solids. Usually I'd give her breakfast around an hour after first BF, then you can safely predict that's she'd ready for a nap around 1.5-3hrs after waking. Then after that nap, she'll last around 3-4hrs again before she'd nap again but if the first nap was 2hrs plus if length then she might not have another one. We aim to bath at 7 (we BLW so baths are a necessity most days) followed by some reading and then last BF and bed. Sometimes that part can last an hour, sometimes 15mins. If we're going to a group or swimming lesson that would clash with when she'd need a nap, I also know that just staying in bed and BFing for approx 1-1.5hrs will send her back to sleep for an hour or so and then we have breakfast on waking. So there is no real routine day to day but now she's on solids, there is a loose structure that I can play with day to day just because she has to BF around an hour before her meals and she feeds best when she's tired.

fhdl34 · 17/09/2012 10:17

I Should've said though that if she naps and wakes at say 5.30pm, I know she won't go to sleep until at least 8.30 so her bath will be much later than 7. So no routine as such but her needs are predictable

Original poster

HairyToothbrush · 17/09/2012 11:52

Thank you all for replying, its always good to see what other people are doing. I think I might starting noting down when she gets tired, every bf ect to see if there's a pattern and go from there.

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MrsRogerSterling · 17/09/2012 13:23

Dd2 is 13 months, we have a routine in that we do things in the same order each day but not at the exact same time iyswim. Weekdays are more rigid as we have to get dd1 to school and afterschool activities etc, so dd2 will sometimes have breakfast before we do school run and sometimes when we get back, she has 1 nap a day now when she looks tired, ususally between 10.30-11.30am for a couple of hours. I was much more routine led with dd1 but then I didn't have school runs and another child to fit around etc.

Fuzzymum1 · 18/09/2012 13:16

I didn't with my first but by the time #2 came along we were in the routine of going to pre-school in the mornings, etc so he slotted in around that and thrived on the routine - he hated weekends and school holidays due to the lack of structure - turned out he is on the autistic spectrum and thrives on routine and still struggles in school holidays at 14. DS3 set his own routine really and has always liked to know what's happening next, etc.

If it works for you and everyone is happy, then lack of routine is fine.

BertieBotts · 18/09/2012 17:14

I didn't have a routine at that age. I think I started to make mealtimes a set time shortly after though as DS wasn't eating very well and I hoped that this would help.

I didn't feel we needed a routine until it got to a point where we needed to be up early every day, and of course when this happened I eased us into it, I didn't just suddenly start with a strict routine from day one!

MoelFammau · 18/09/2012 22:30

Nope, no routine. 16 months and counting :-)

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 19/09/2012 00:41

all changes when you go to school though i love it in the hiolidays when e do alsorts of things that are not usual. they still need to go to bed no later than an hour after normal time though.

tootiredtothinkofanickname · 19/09/2012 08:37

DS is 19 months and goes to a CM 4 days a week. I found a routine very helpful, and he is thriving on it. Not to say that children don't strive without a routine, I guess it depends on your family and of course on your baby/child.

It's not a strict routine though, and I go with the flow too when we have a special day. I am definitely not a Gina Ford person, and didn't worry about time between feeds or naps when DS was a baby.However, I found having a structure to the day helped keep my sanity, and also helped DS when he started going to the CM at 11 months.

If you are not a routine type of person and your DS is happy without one, I would go an as you are, but if you want to change things I would focus on bedtime and the rest will follow.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 19/09/2012 08:46

We have a bedtime routine that both have been in since they were about 6-8 mos old. It goes bath, milk, teeth, bed. It doesn't have to happen at the same time every day, but it does help them settle down at night.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 19/09/2012 08:46

There's a story shoe-horned in between teeth and bed as well.

hayesgirl · 19/09/2012 09:12

My DS has a routine in so far as he eats lunch and dinner around the same time everyday and has his bath at 6 and bed by 7. He's never been a fantastic napper but now he's walking he tires himself out much more so depending what he's been doing in the morning he will probably go down for a 2-3 hour nap after his lunch but only if he is at home. When he's at his grandparents whilst we're both at work they usually have to take him out for a drive or walk to get him to nap. We find that if the bedtime routine is messed with too much he's really unsettled so we tend to have that set in stone - everything else is flexible generally. Suppose it depends on your lifestyle and what works for you.

Bonsoir · 19/09/2012 09:14

My DD lived with very little routine at 12 months. She is now 7 and just fine and manages her weekly routine of school and lots of extra-curricular activities with aplomb - she is a very organised self-starter and never forgets where she should be or what she should be doing.

I'm not sure that imposing a rigid schedule on children before school is at all desirable.

queenofmeringue · 19/09/2012 10:36

....and equally I had my ds in a great routine as a baby and now at 9yo he's the epitome of chaos - doesn't even know what day it is never mind what he's supposed to be doing.

EdMcDunnough · 19/09/2012 10:41

We have never bothered. I write down stuff we are expected to do - appointments and school stuff and so on. Everything else is totally random.

Probably not ideal but I wouldnt have wanted to try and plan ahead with little children as they cannot stick to plans! There seemed no point - friends who tried sleep routines etc always found them broken without fail every time they went away, or a child was ill, or started teething or anything tbh, and had to start all over again.

there are other things to get in a flap about.

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