How would you answer this question?

[N0tinmylife]

DS (4) has asked me a couple of times now "Mummy do you love me the best?" Now of course the easy, and truthful answer is yes. He is my only child so of course I do. However, he always seems to ask that when my two DNephews are round.

It feels wrong whatever answer I give. If I say that I do love him best its effectively saying to the other two, who I love very much, that they are not as important to me as DS, but if I say that I love them all the same that doesn't seem fair to DS, who should feel he is the most special to his Mum. So help, what answer would you give to this? I appreciate as problems go this is a minor one, but your suggestions would be most appreciated!

I am not saying for a second that I am right but I'd say yes or at least that there are two types of special love, one for nephews, one for your son, and that it is your secret that when you say 'I love you all the same' in front of the nephews it is special code between you both that you love him more!

You are allowed to love your son the best you know!

I would say yes. If he had siblings...then I would be stuck. But I dont see a problem. Saying you love him the best doesnt mean you dont love them!

Could you say that all mummies love their own children best, so you love him the most and his aunt, the DNs mum, loves them the best.

I'd say Yes too. I have 2 dc a boy and a girl. Ds is my best boy in the whole world dd the best girl. I love my nephew and see him alot but it doesn't even come close.

I used to say, you're my favourite daughter in the world and (cousins) are my favourite nephews.

I think with my dd it was a genuine question because we always make a fuss of guests and pay them a lot of attention. All her cousins are older, so in her eyes bigger and better. She used to cry sometimes when she saw pictures of me cuddling them (before she was born) and say 'but you're supposed to be with me'. I realised that even though she's an only child she sometimes needed a bit of reassurance.

I'm just curious why is she always asking that?? But anyway,. I would also answer "yes", your nephews would understand that they have there own moms. My DD is just 18months but hope she ask that too...lol

What scootergirl said.

Thanks for all the suggestions. It seems the general consensus is that I just stick with the truth. I shall do that guilt free from now on! Scootergrrrl, I think I will go with your explanation, thanks!

I'm glad you asked this, it's something I've been thinking about. My sil often tells dniece that she loves her best in front of my dd (out of the blue, unprompted by dniece asking). It makes me a bit uncomfortable, it seems unnecessary to point out any child is less loved even if they are. It's made me aware that I don't want to be in the situation of telling dd I love her more than dniece in front of dniece. I think I like the idea of saying I love them differently (as a daughter and as a niece).