Has anyone else experienced mums of your kids who are total nutcases?

[MaryRose]

...and if so how do you deal with them, bawling at you in public about some minor misdemeanour your child has committed, posting inappropriate stuff on facebook etc. do you keep the piece or tell her she's a mental case?

... would need some context?

Generally telling people they are nutcases doesn't help matters... especially if they are nutcases!

I would just not see them any more. I don't think people like this change.

More detail needed...

I didn't tell her she was a nut case, though tempting this woman and dd1's daughter were best friends for years at primary, they drifted apart in year 6 as girls do, the other girl was a bit unpleasant to my dd leaving her out etc but just kid stuff really, I encouraged my dd to make other friends as they were going to separate secondary schools anyhow, but it was very hard as dd and ex best friend were in a group of four and my dd was constantly being left out, left on her own in the playground etc by the other three, she felt the ex best friend was the ringleader in this. I ended up having a quiet word with the class teacher and emphasised that I didn't want a huge fuss made as these things happen but if he could just have a quiet word with the ex best friend and explain that my dd was very upset which is what happened BUT the other obviously then knew her daughter had been spoken to and took umbrage, started posting Facebook updates (she lives every single tiny drama of her life on FB) about how all the other girls were sleeping over and my dd wasn't included, there were lots of these updates clearly aimed at upsetting us but I just completely ignored it (hid her from my news feed actually) as I felt it was really childish, encouraged my dd to just hang in as there were only a few weeks of primary left. Subsequently she has gone off to secondary, made a bunch of really lovely new friends, mum of ex best friend has been messaging on FB saying that maybe she could make up with ex best friend etc but my dd has totally moved on and just not interested, though obviously I encouraged her to be polite. All came to a head last week when ex best friend's mum came up to me in playground in front of my younger children and started yelling at me accusing my daughter of sending threatening texts, telling me I had 'turned against' her daughter (I've been giving her funny looks apparently) and saying I thought my daughter was perfect but she was far from it etc etc. I was absolutely gobsmacked particularly when it turned out she had posted all this on FB for everyone to see! It seemed to me she had been wanting to have a go at me for some time. Just stood and let her rant on for a bit then asked her if I could see the threatening texts so taht I could bring my daughter to book. At which point the story changed to them being phone calls and no she didn't have a record of what was said, and apparently these phone calls were made over an hour when I know my dd was at swimming training because I was sitting watching her!!!! Turns out there was one phone call to the ex best friend as my dd and her mates were mucking about prank calling people - I am sure she is telling the truth on this one of her friends had called our landline, and our mobiles, saying they were delivering pizza, I expect the call to the ex best friend was in the same vein, but the mother has made it sound like they were much nastier. She did back down when challenged on what had actually been said and kept changing her story, and has takjen her FB rant down at my request, but obviously quite a few people may have seen it. Obviously gave dd a bollocking about making daft phone calls and she apologised straight away to ex best friend and mum so it is smoothed over now but what do you do with people like this???!!!! To top it all off the ex best friends mother is still saying she hopes my dd and hers will make up and be friends again! AAAAAAHHHH! Sorry epic!!!

Not much you can do.

I would be unfailingly polite and you should also ensure that your dd's behaviour is absolutely beyond reproach. (you admit it hadn't been)
She does sound like a troubled woman, and others can probably see this too. My main objective would be to avoid being the drama in her life, while being sympathetic.

Doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs being her daughter, so encourage your daughter to be empathetic, if not necessarily her best friend.

Yeh she is troubled, unfortunately she doesn't help herself by posting every little drama on FB to get a reaction from those involved. I've encouraged my daughter to be polite and I'll do the same but I also think staying out of their way may be effective, now my dd is at a different school our paths don't have to cross quite as much. Her daughter did used to say to my dd she didn't really like her home life and that her mum didn't do much with her

It's difficult if they've been friends for years but i think I'd encourage my dd to move on with her new friends really. And also not make prank phone calls any more but I know you're on top of that one.

I had a woman who would totally overreact to minor falling outs between our DC. Slagging us off to anybody who'd listen, ranting at me in the middle of the playground, then as you say, asking us round for tea as though nothing had happened.

I couldn't cope with it any more and told her I didn't think it was a good idea as they didn't seem to get on (in a desperate bid to get rid of her).

Why can't you just say what you feel?

'I don't want anything to do with you or your kid ever again.'

There must be something that stops people from just saying what they want to say because this isn't the first time I've seen posts in which excuses are made.

I'm assuming you still have another few years of running into this woman at primary school?

Saying what you feel might back fire. Serene politeness if necessary. Otherwise ignore.

I think if you manage to get rid of them diplomatically (i.e. making them think it's for the best) you reduce the risk of them getting aggressive with you again in front of dc and slagging you off to all the other parents for years to come. Tempting though it is.

Ugh! A friend of mine was going through something like this...two mothers and a stepfather showed up at her house and 9 pm the other night to tell her that my friend's DD doesn't like the one's DD, and the other's DD feels "caught in the middle." The one with the caught-in-the-middle DD was sobbing. The girls are eight years old .

I would just tell your DD to be polite to everyone but that she doesn't have to be friends with the other girl if she doesn't want to.

at 9 pm

Turning up at 9pm?!!! OMG how ridiculous!!! I'll take the

Turning up at 9pm?!!! OMG how ridiculous!!! I'll take the Playground rant any day! Thanks for your advice everyone, I am going with polite but not overly warm, that way I too am above reproach I hope! Positive dd is now really happy with new friends which is great as she was soooo miserable a few months ago. Telling her to do one, whilst tempting, I think may backfire, having seen what she can be like

"mums of your kids" - please explain!

Ah yes should read 'mums of your kids' friends!'