Mums of 3 - come and tell me it´ll all be OK!

[peterpie]

Hello

I am expecting baby no3 in November and have been having a little wobble the last week or so. I have two lovely boys aged 5 and 3 and they are so close I am wondering if it is going to have a negative impact on their relationship. My older boy is very excited but the younger one is still very clingy with me and has just started pre-school and so a lot of change already.

I know deep down everything will be OK in the end ... the baby was very much planned.

Any words of wisdom. I don´t mind being told to stop being daft, to get a grip etc

No words of wisdom but I sympathise with your concerns. I have a just turned 6 year old and a 3.5 year old and I am in the early stages of pregnancy with DC3. I am excited but also keep worrying we might rock our happy little boat. The girls get on really well and are old enough that we have some freedom. I am no longer tired and ratty all the time. We have just enough money to support the lifestyle we want etc. Sometimes I question why I am risking all that but I also know a third child will hopefully enhance our lives and I love the thought of us all together in 5, 10, 15 years from now.

Um, it'll be hell, and lovely, and difficult and fine, and fabulous all up and down but actually , in the end it'll be brilliant !

(caveat as long as you don't get so fuming about family deals that exclude your family that your head explodes! YKWIM-- the world IS build for 2 adults 2 kids ...still)

I can say this with the retrospective view of someone who feels very ancient to count ages and realise she has 3 aged 19/17/13 now! It's great over all, and " just not right" when DD1 goes to uni (sniffle) .

I have three - 11, 8 and 4.

It was hard work going form 2 to 3 kids but I love it! DS(4) has added so much happiness to our lives and is adored (spoilt) by his sisters. Didn't realise how hard it would be but have no regrets and would make the same choice again.

I have a 5 year old dd, a 3 year old ds and an 8 month ds and they adore each other. The older two argue and fight at least twice each day but think they would have done that anyway ! They both took the birth of baby well and love to help feed him, bath him etc.... I love having a bigger family and though it can be tough at times when everyone needs you at once I know it will get easier. So stop worrying and get plenty of rest while you can!!!!!

You've got the same age gap as me DSs were 5 and 3 when I had DD.
They're now 14, 12 and almost 9 and get along fine most of the time

I think three is the perfect number. Everyone always has someone to be with.

When DC3 came along it felt as though a switch was flicked. I was outnumbered and I kind of gave up trying so hard - I became more relaxed about everything. I had a DD after two DS and she is pretty much the perfect child.

Of course I got all complacent about how great having three was, how relaxed I was and how it was all so perfect so tipped the balance and had number four. Anyone who tells you going from 3 to 4 makes no difference IS LYING!

Thanks everybody - I love the posts so far

RTchoke - you have expressed all of my concerns better than I did! That´s exactly it, I am worried about rocking our little boat, much too late now though, November is round the corner. And I have to admit I am focusing much more on the long term benefits...as I now know the "Hellish" first 12 months is over and done before you know it
BTW Congrats on your PG

ohforfoxsake - if there is even the remotest of chances that baby no3 will make me more relaxed then it´ll be more than worth it...I like the idea of giving up trying so hard - lol

Mine are now 7, 5 and 3. I found the first 6 months incredibly hard, there is no getting away from that. Unlike me, you will at least have times when the older two are both at school / pre-school and you just have the baby, which I think will make life a lot easier (although be prepared for the full horror of school runs with a small baby in tow - the baby wants to be fed NOW, the baby does an explosive clothes wrecking poo just as you are getting everyone out of the door, the baby needs a nap, the baby just damn well doesn't want to go in the car seat, but there is no choice!). I think the most important thing for me was quickly working out a routine for the baby around the non negotiable fact of drop offs and pick ups. DS was the most flexible baby ever to give him his due (he had to be!) and spent most of his first year strapped to me in a sling whilst I ran around like a headless chicken (decent sling is no.1 most important item to have). It all goes very quickly though as you say and when I look back those early months with 3 are just a complete blur. In no time things are settled again and on a fairly even keel. I can't imagine life any other way.

I love being a mum of three but I guess my situation isn't the same - my older boys were 13 and 9 when the youngest came along - he's a bit like an only child with a couple of uncles truth be told :D

I too am wondering if I was mad to rock our boat. I have a girl and boy who will be just 6 and almost 4 when no. 3 comes along. They are so close now (especiallly after a long summer playing together) that I am nervous about introducing a new dimension. Worried they won't be so close to no. 3 with a nearly 4 year gap between 2 and 3. Worried we can't really afford it...Want them all to have whatever extra curricular stuff they want etc etc, Worried our house is not big enough. Will the older two be ok sharing for another few years, Will no. 3 be ok sharing with either a much older girl or slight older boy in few further years, worried I am so tired right now that I am a crap mum (a lot of shouting on the school run this morning), worried I am too old to be doing this (I am 41). Otherwise - delighted!

I find it pretty hard but so very worth it!

The TV series 'Outnumbered' is actually a documentary of the lives of parents with three children. It is REALLY like that (hopeless sighs at another parenting fail) but you just have to prioritise.

The worst thing here is sibling rivalry but we have BIG age gaps which makes things tougher - because rules have to be different for those with very different ages. The two youngest get on very well and are bessie mates apart from the odd spat; the eldest and youngest adore each other; but two eldest would gladly murder each other on a regular basis, although middle child would love a better relationship with his brother...

You will never be able to stay in a hotel again, or fly abroad, or find a car that isn't a van, or yes you will always be paying for one extra in museums etc because families are 2+2 but you will be surrounded by damp angelic faces who can play football or whatever together and who will appreciate each other in different ways.