Should I be worried that DS hates parties..

[BambinoBoo]

Sounds bonkers I know. DS is 3.8 and has been at nursery full time since 11 months so very used to other children. He really enjoys it there and has friends, but at parties with the same set of friends, he won't join in at all. We went to a soft party on Saturday and he hated it, didnt want to go in then clung to us the whole time. Every other party the same and it hasn't got better with age. It has been on my mind all week. He is a sensitive boy, very thoughtful, gentle and shy so I think he probably felt at odds out of the nursery environment, but I am wondering if we just have a DS that hates large unusual places and soft play which I can't blame him for or if it is a sign of something more. He is very likely going to be an only child which I feel really guilty about too. Perhaps if he had a sibling, he'd be less shy. Any thoughts welcome.

Thank you.

soft play

Well, I don't know whether you should be worried or not. Ds2 (15) was like this, not just parties but anywhere strange. He is still the same. He has a nice group of friends and gets on fine with them but has never been good in social situations and doesn't choose to party. He doesn't like sleepovers or trips away from home (without the family) and although he goes on overnighters with school or orchestra he would rather not. He has 2 brothers (16 and 6) who are completely different, real party animals, so I don't think it is your ds being an only child.

I have worried quite a lot about it in the past but have decided life's too short! I will now (try to) only worry about life threatening events.

I hated parties as a child, really really hated them. Used to sob, feign illness, generally beg not to go, but was always made to. Also my parents threw big parties for me which I hated even more.

Still don't like them now Though I love get togethers with friends and am fine socializing in a big crowd if I have a 'work' head on, but wouldn't choose to do it for fun.

I would like to marry dp one day but there is no way I am having a big wedding as the idea fills me with horror, I don't think his parents, well his mum, could cope if we got married quietly on our own, so it might not happen, which is a bit sad.

I genuinely think I would be a whole lot less screwed up about the whole thing if I hadn't been forced to go, in all honesty I would let your ds decide, maybe he will grow into it if allowed to do so at his own pace.

My DS was the same but is better now. He hated parties and just used to drape over me complaining to go home, even though his friends were there, and he's a big lad. Thruthfully I avoided them for a while or went briefly to give the present and see how he was and I would just say sorry he's a party pooper! people understood. Just don't put yourself through it or him but make it the odd party. Come to think of it maybe he was party pooped, at that age the parties seem to be endless. don't worry.

Parties for many are hell.My dd(13)hated them-so many kids getting overexcited and silly.Can you find ways to encourage activities with one friend?Often more important for parents to get to know eachother tbh.
Don't worry or feel guilty.

My DS doesn't like parties either and it has saved me a fortune!

He doesn't like being the centre of attention so he's always had birthday parties at home for a few select friends.

I wouldn't worry about your DS being the only one, there's a few of them in my DS's class and in any case whole class parties only seem to be for the younger ones.

Having a sibling wouldn't necessarily make your child less shy, tbh. It's just down to personality IME.

There's no hard and fast rule that says you have to take your child to a party or host any yourself. If you just want to have one play date round at a time that's okay too. Your DS is still very small!

I personally do not like large gathering, I prefer one to one chatting to a friend. If it's a birthday celebration, I'd rather just have a quiet meal out with DH and no one else. I don't like attention! Had a tiny wedding for that reason alone too...

I hated parties at that age, I can remember it still and I had siblings. I only started liking them when I was about 8 yrs- and then only if they were real friends. I am always surprised about the angst on here about not getting party invites - do the DCs actually want them? I think it is even worse when people insist on whole class parties. He is very little - just give them a miss until he wants to go.

Same in this house too. My DS is 3.8 too and not keen...he is very gregarious and sociable but seems to hate those big parties, especially the soft play ones. usually i give an excuse and we don't go but to my horror now I agreed to one tomorrow...what a waste of a day that will be...

Thanks everyone. DH and I aren't centre of attention people either so I guess he is like us but obviously starting young. He has friends at nursery and is great in that environment but not in large noisy places which is fair enough. I can't blame him really. It's good to know that others DC are the same. I get comments, mainly from DH family who have said many times that he's so shy because I put my anxiousness onto him as a baby (I had pnd).I think I will stop taking him for now; if he doesn't enjoy it then no point in forcing him.