Q for SAHM with babies

[BoomerGold]

How do you get your jobs done without leaving the baby crying? My 6 month old cries even if she can see me. Toys are fun if I stay with her, not so if I go wash up or do some dusting.

Do your jobs while the baby is asleep?

Or put her in a sling facing outwards so that she can 'join in'.

The only jobs I do whilst DD is awake are getting meals ready and clearing them away, the rest I do when she's asleep but she's 8 months now, at 6 months she was still napping on me but now she goes in her cot. I just lowered my standards, as long as kitchen and bathrooms were clean and floor hoovered and clean clothes the rest didn't matter. I've never been much of a duster

I'm the same as fhdl. Lowered my standards and think of all the things I'll be able to do when they are at school. And by floors clean, I mean swept. Not even getting to mop them often.

Anything that could be done one handed while holding a baby on my hip, was done one handed with a baby on my hip! I could never leave DD to cry so I just improvised. Also lowered my standards and only did the essentials. It does get a bit easier once they start playing by themselves for 5 mins. Although DD is now 12 months and goig through extreme separation anxiety so wants to be held 14/7.
Do you have a bouncy chair that you can take around the house with you?
Also, when in the kitchen, I will put her in the highchair with some toys on the tray while I get on with dinner. That way I can play and get on with things that require two hands.

*24/7!

That's separation anxiety, it was really bad for about 6 weeks and I didn't get much done but made the most of nap times and putting dd in a carrier, facing out for pegging out the washing etc. standards definitely dropped.

By 8mo she was over it though and much better about being left in another room for brief periods.

If there is something I really need to do, whilst DS is awake I either strap him in the buggy & talk to him lots or have his jumperoo-style thing (can't remember the name) in the kitchen.
If she's quite a light baby, could you put her in a swing or even a sling?

Most household stuff/cooking waits until DH is home/the weekend.

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

What plantsitter said!

Exactly what plantsitter said, love that poem!

Oh dear that poem actually made me cry..

That's a lovely poem :D

I have a baby bjorn but she's heavy and hurts my back. I put her in a bouncer and move her round the house with me but she starts pouting after a few minutes. When she's asleep AIBU to want to get some sleep too when she gets me up at 5am?? She only sleeps for 15 mins a time, max.

She is more important to me than the housework, that's true. She's only this age once and I'd rather play with her. I just wondered if there was some magic item that kept her occupied for enough time to clean the bathroom and toilet. I don't really want to drag her bouncer in there!

YANBU, I still sometimes sleep when she does if we've had a bad night. As far as I'm concerned, my DD is the priority and what I do with her comes first. However am pretty pleased that yesterday I managed to iron whilst she was awake! I keep a travel cot up downstairs so I've somewhere safe to put her when I need the loo etc so I put the ironing board in there and up against the wall so she couldn't grab the iron wire. Was v pleased even though only did 30 mins. DD is now crawling and pulling herself up up so that's pretty much all she's doing at the moment and, apart from the odd grumble, she was happy to do that round the dining room for a bit.

My husband is the SAHD and very little gets done round the house during the day. Our DD (9mo) almost never naps without been taken for a walk in the pram so the "while she sleeps" option doesn't work for us. During the morning she's more likely to be happy to sit and play so it's sometimes possible to leave her and get the dishwasher or washing machine going. Hanging laundry out can be done with her in the carrier, which she likes.
Generally I expect to do most of the housework before work and after DD's in bed.

Oh sniffle sniffle I had seen that poem before but was reading this thread just now whilst bf'ing my little boy to sleep and it has made me come over all emotional. So now he is sleeping in my arms instead of in his cot and the dishwasher won't get stacked till later :)

I will add a practical tip though - i fyou want to wear her in a sling whilst getting stuff done there are much more comfortable ones than the bjorn.

I get up before baby wakes, get breakfast stuff preped sneak in shower and get dressed quick, sometimes I bathe the night before and have a hair wash when DS is home and jsut quick wash in mornings.

Morning sleep - do some cleaning, prep dinner, do some jobs
Afternoon sleep - as above
Evenings before I go to bed - just tidy around
Weekends - one of us has a big clean, tidy around

If its financially viable, get a cleaner. I waited til my DS was 6 months old and I was back at work. I really, really wish I'd done it sooner!

Phew such pressure! Babies are the same as us and also need time to themselves to think and feel, I imagine how exhausting it would be for a baby to have every waking moment with mum interacting intently with toys/books/touch/sound etc. Blimey stick classical music on, put baby where he/she can gaze at you/out of window and do your blinking ironing! Lets face it a day with a baby can be full of frustrating half jobs and sometimes it's nice to finish something and think your own thoughts while baby thinks theirs.

I never let DD1 (almost three) or DD2 (10 months) cry. Like other posters, either a sling, one-handed operations or let my standards go. Last is obviously easiest

Definitely get a more supportive sling - If you don't want to spend a lot something like this would be perfect. Although they look a bit complicated, it's really not and you will be so comfortable! DS slept so well in the sling, and it meant I could get on with making a brew housework so much more easily!

As DD gets older, encourage her to play by herself a bit, or let her "help" you - from about 12 months DS was helping me load the washing machine, would play with a duster when I polished, and had a toy dustpan and brush set to copy me when I did the floors :)

Slings SOUND like a great idea, but I've just clicked on that link, RockChick and seen what looks like a two year old on a man's back. The thought of carting my 6 month old around on my back with her pulling my hair, pummelling my head and kicking my back while I'm trying to do stuff, bending over and whatnot fills me with anxiety.

I am really pleased with all the responses though, thank you very much. Yesterday I put some music on (60's rock!) and she played quietly on a duvet for a bit while I did the washing. This morning she kept herself amused with her own voice while I emptied and filled the dishwasher. Shame for my boyfriend though, who was trying to sleep at 5.30am!

You can wear them on your front instead, I've had DS on my back on and off since about 5 months (he's now 18 months) and he's only once or twice tried to hair pull - think its the novelty factor stops them as they want to see EVERYTHING you're doing :)

As long as you can find something that works for you though, just do it that way. wait til she gets older and you can put Waybuloo on