what is this I am feeling : (

[overthehillnow]

I am feeling strange and can't figure out why!! My niece is off to University and I am so thrilled for her. My good friend is off abroad to become Head at a fabulous school and I am so thrilled for her.

But I also feel a pang - not sure what of. Think it is jealousy : (( How bad is that even though I am genuinely thrilled for both of them.

I don't know why I am feeling like this. My life situation - 3 amazing children 7 and under. I am a sahm; was heading for headship but haven't worked since my eldest was born. Have now hit the big 40 so guess I missed the boat. I never go out in the evening but that doesn't bother me - my children like me to be at home for them. I am with them 24/7 as I am home-schooling at the moment.

Does life finish when you get to 40? How I wish I was off to adventures new like University -those years were so fabulous. I love my amazing family and am so lucky but is that it now? Do I just live for them and help them achieve their dreams? Perhaps that is what we do now when we hit 40? Is this correct? I had wonderful dreams of running my own school and worked so hard.

Any thoughts appreciated. I am not sure what I am feeling. But I am not sure I like myself for it : ((((

thanks ruby, your kind words made me cry. How pathetic!!!

It sounds like you need a new adventure. Your kids love you, you love your kids, but you can't be with them 24/7 or you'll go mental. They surely don't NEED you at home 24/7? I'm not suggesting you canoe to Borneo or anything drastic, but you DO need a bit of time away on your own. Even if it just a trip to the library for an hour. Just because you are a mum and a home educator doesn't stop you from having your own adventures.

Do you have a husband/partner/friend/relative who would look after your children for an hour or two? If so, ask them nicely, then take advantage of that time away to do something for YOU - a swim, a coffee and a magazine, library, choir, learn to play the trumpet. You know that life never stops teaching us, so embrace this.

And pah! 40 is like the new 18!