Having a second child, what would you do?

[Geekster]

We had our dd in march after five years and six miscarriages. We think we would like her to have a sibling. If we do we can't leave it too long as I've just turned 40 and dh is 41.

I just don't know if I can go through any more miscarriages and the risks of chromosome abnormalities increases with my age, but then I don't want my dd to be an only child of I can help it. I know no one can tell me what to do, but does anyone have any experience like this?

I don't have the same situation as you, but I can see where you are coming from.

I'm only 24, and had my DD in May. I have severe PCOS and don't have periods/ovulate. After 18 months of tests and trying, I was just about to start fertility treatment when somehow my body produced an egg all on it's own and we got pregnant.

We'd like her to have a brother or a sister, and we know that it could be just the same next time. I don't want to leave it too long because I've been to the Doctors today and one of my ovaries is swollen again. I was offered a scan and possible lasering but it can leave scarring and could potentially leave me infertile. It is a daunting prospect to have to go through all the trying again though.

I know that you are worried about miscarrying, but your body has managed to carry a baby, which means it can do it again. You must be a strong person to have gone through so many and kept on trying. I think you should give it a go if it's what you and your DH want. :)

being an only child is great! don't "do it for your DD" - some siblings are a thorn in ones side! only do it if you really want to, for yourself, and that second child! and if that outweighs the process!

honestly being an only child is great, DH and I both feel a bit guilty that we've decided to take the perks we both had away from DS by having another! - take that out of the equation you have no idea how your DD will feel about being an only child or about another sibling!

Hiya. Just wanted to let you know that I'm an only child and don't feel in the least bit like I wish I'd had siblings. Make the decision that's right for you, since I don't think you'll find many (any??) only children who hanker after siblings.

I have know many people who have had fertiliy issues for their first baby and none for their second -and people who started trying under a year seemed to have a lot of success!

also know many very happy only children

Hi thank you to all of you for replying, still can't decide but you have all helped and is reasurring to know that there are many happy only children out there. I'm the eldest of five so it's hard to imagine what life would be like without my sisters and brother.

people with siblings often use the phrase "I felt like an only child" for periods when they felt lonely or left out... but it's not like that as an only child - you're not sitting there watching two other siblings who are closer than you and leave you out, and IMO as a child you only feel an empty space if there WAS another person there who left/died/grew up and started locking their door etc.

You would miss your siblings if they suddenly disappeared of course! But you only miss people you've KNOWN! I don't miss siblings I never had!