How am I going to cope?

[EMS23]

I'm 38.5 weeks with DC2 (DC3 including my DSS8). My DD is 22 months old and I just don't know how I'm going to cope when this one arrives.

DD is still a baby, she still needs so much care. Last night she was sick and I had to sit up most of the night holding her, she was sick on me a few times etc.., lots of bedclothes changes etc.
She's not been sleeping well since April for various reasons and is currently waking at least once in the night.

I'm lucky in that my DH works from home and is a fantastic co parent, does everything with me and we really share the care of the children but sometimes, like last night, only mummy will do and it's even more like that with a newborn isn't it? How will I split myself in two? Or when I can't, which child has to forgo mum and settle for dad?

I know there aren't any definitive answers. I'm just sleep deprived and anxious and needing to write it all down.

When a new child comes the whole family readjusts, like a cabinet reshuffle. I had my second at 22 months and apart from being a nightmare with nappies, everything was fine. Find the reason why dd1 is waking up in the night, cold, hot, hunger, noise? That will help.

Your DC1 may have to learn that sometimes it will just have to be daddy. Try and get to the root of the waking issue. We did this just before DC2 was born when DS was 21 months. He'd been waking once a night for months having previously slept through and we decided we had to sort it out before DC2 came so did controlled crying (not when sick obviously) and sorted it out in about 3 nights. The we had a year of DD waking up but at least it wasn't both of them. You will cope, especially with a Dad at home but some things that help are:
A box of toys or books especially for when you're feeding baby
TV (seriously, if your older one watches it it is invaluable and they do learn from it so don't think its a bad thing)
A sling
A buggy board and / or double buggy
best of luck x

I think you need to get your head round the fact that dad isn't second best and someone your children have to 'settle for,' that will make things easier for starters.

You'll cope because you have to, it'll be easier when the baby is here, the imagining is usually more difficult than it actually is in reality and you'll look back and wonder why you were ever stressed. Best of luck :)

It's fine, honestly. My son is 4 months and dd is 19 months. Just relax about certain things, like state of house or activities you feel you should be doing, and you'll find it's pretty straightforward.

My dd still wakes for a bottle once a night but it's not something we'll be tackling until ds sleeps through-ish. Pick your battles and all that. I have found it easier than having just one really, the days fly by and they just love each other in a very easy, uncomplicated way.

My DS was also waking when DS2 arrived, in fact she started sleeping through before he did. I'd always settled him but he quickly adjusted to Daddy going in.

It will be fine .

Thanks for your replies, it does help. When I'm not sleep deprived I've been able to be quite positive but after last night, with very little sleep, I was all out of optimism!

At the end of the day, this baby is coming, my DD is what she is and we will cope.

No doubt I'll be back on in a few weeks tearing my hair out again!

Just wanted to echo what others have written. You WILL cope as you have to. There will be bad days (and nights) but there will also be good days and nights
There is 16 months between my 2DC. My DS1 was a terrible sleeper (medical related)and when my DD2 was born was still waking 3 or 4 times in the night so the sleep deprivation was hard. However, for us, we made i) a conscious effort to get into some sort of 'normal' routine from day 1 and not just bumble along ii) both DS and DD had to learn that they could not have my attention all the time and that sometimes they simply had to wait....if you can accept that and not feel guilty it helps iii) we ensured we kept to DS1 activities and baby had to fit in with them.
I found the first few months hard, but after that i personally didn;t find it any harder than just 1 and now they are older (5 and 4) they get along great and will play happily all day together.
Good luck, you will be fine