DD is driving me nuts. Any help gratefully received.

[nellyjelly]

DD is 6 but her attitude and behaviour makes me feel like she is 16! I am at a loss to know how to handle her. When I ask her to undertake simple tasks such as taking a plate back to kitchen or turning tv doen (things she doesn't want to) she just ignores us, we have to ask 5 or 6 times before we get a shouted 'OK' and then we try to deal with that and usually the situation escalates. She won't listen no matter now reasonable we are, puts her hands over her ears etc, stomps around, shouts etc.

I have tried starcharts etc but I don't think it works for us, we have so many oncidents in a day that it becomes meaningless. Same for the pasta jar approach.

There must be 10 or so blow ups like this in a day. She sometimes loses it and then in next breath begging for forgiveness. It is exhausting and tbh I it hard to forgive and forget so quickly.

What do I do? i really want her to listen to us and accept that when we say no we mean it, without an escalating argument. I hate the conflict.

Any strategies any of you can suggest?

Incidents.

I'm not an expert but my DD has had similar tendencies (much less often than 10 times a day). We have tended to over-praise / reward positive behaviour and come down really hard on negative behaviour. Things like TV, treats etc are completely banned.

I do however refuse to blow up. I keep my voice the same level, no shouting etc. I also refuse to argue - no means no, now means now etc. She doesn't get any attention when having a hissy fit.

Good luck, it sounds wearing!

Thanks. I feel I have tried what you do but I know I need to avoid arguing. Yes it is wearing!

Hmmmmmm interesting Ting. I may try that and ignore the malice in her voice when she complies! Though it's tricky.