What's your best way to manage/cope with toddler tantrums?

[Littleraysofsunshine]

I know it's different for each child. Just wondered how you all think about your dc's tantrums and how you read and manage them.

The things I want to try and do are to not frown when telling dd off, be calmer and not stress at silly things

Sometimes I ignore them and wait til they have run their course and then go back to my DD and distract her with something else. This is more of an 'at home' option

Distraction before it gets to tantrum stage. Or working out the reason for the tantrum eg hunger? Tired? Signs you can look for to try avoid the scenario again.
Turning things into a game seems to work for me

Avoid tantrums starting as much as possible as much as possible - hunger, tiredness and over-stimulation - eg at soft play are big causal factors. Get out while the going is good. Lover your expectations for what you can get done in a day

Remain as calm as you can yourself - it does not reflect on you, it won't go on forever, your child is very probably entirely normal, they are not doing it to upset you or show you up, they will not be a juvenile delinquent/spoiled brat. Tell yourself these things and try and adopt a low voice like a bored policeman. If they sense you feel you can't cope, they will feel insecure.

Try not to bear grudges. Once it's over have a cuddle and do something nice. Praise them for calming down. Don't harp on about it or lecture. They won't understand.

If you need to (at home), get away from them if it's gone beyond the point of no return and you are getting het up yourself. Take a few deep breaths, punch a cushion, then go back.

Sympathise with their feelings but don't let the tantrum make you give in to a demand.

lower your expectations

Finally

I think my DS1 was probably the most tantrummy toddler in the whole world at one stage. There is hope!

The book Playful Parenting is a good one for finding ways to really enjoy being with your child and avoiding the sort of daily confrontations about things like putting shoes on, that can lead to tantrums

Thanks everyone. And thanks for the book reference jamie. She is a good little girl. Very intelligent and does have her moments recently. There's a lot going on in our life at the moment so I do sympathise with her.

It can just be tough some days. And I've just been under a lot of stress since before dd2 was born. I sometimes get annoyed when dd1 point blank ignores me and I end up repeating myself - pointless I know.

Then 5mins later I think why did I stress!

Then like today I told dd off because she climbed up on the tv cabinet twice then ended up shouting and she mimicked me I don't want her to pick up on my stress/ stress tone. I asked her nicely a few times tried distraction but zilch -- probably because she's over tired!

Hunger/ tiredness is a pain! I always try prevention methods. But sometimes it doesn't work.

Overall she's a gem. It's just her way of exploring and experimenting I know. Just wondered how you all dealt with it day to day :)

We go to the parks/ play groups lots too