Playtime your DS enjoys with a younger sister?

[anna26anna]

Hi there,
We have three children, DS(7), DS(4.5) and DD (2.5). The boys play really well together, sometimes for hours on end, but I do have this fear about DD being left out. She mostly plays with me, on her own, or with her childminder in the mornings when I'm at work. DS2 who is just over 2 years older than her, doesn't see her as playmate potential at all, and I don't know whether I am living in a dreamworld to expect that sometimes they might find common ground and play well together.

Now that school has started again, we have an hour each day when DS2 is at home with DD before his older brother - and I'd like to do some things to encourage playtime that they can enjoy together. DS2 can be rough with her, physically and verbally, so some activities that we can do together or at least supervised so that we get a more friendly vibe between the two would be helpful. DD is learning to give as good as she gets, and while I understand that sibling rivalry is normal, we have to achieve some periods of harmony at least, not that every interaction between them degenerates into a row.

Thanks for any help,
Anna

Hi. I have DS 8 and dd, almost 5. Although they have always got on well this is the first summer holidays where they have genuinely played together properly. They tend to enjoy role play, whether that is superhero/tv character or small world, train/cars/dolls stuff. Before this summer dd didn't have the skills to really join in with the kind of play DS enjoys. They also like playing outside together, digging for worms, finding ladybirds, making sandcastles etc. I am quite 'forceful' about encouraging them to just go and play together without any close supervision though, I can't be doing with having to organise their play for them.

Posted too soon!

But maybe yours are just that little bit too young yet to enjoy each others company properly, since both of them are still at that 'learning to cooperate' stage and need adults to negotiate this usually.

my ds2 2.5 likes game shopping list and he and his older brother play it - with an adult mind, or they like a game where i chase them - does your DD play with other children when you are at toddler group as it maybe that she isn't bothered about playing with other children at the moment anyay

Thanks - let's hope they are just a bit young yet. I will try playing Shopping List with them, that could work quite well actually. When I chase them out to play by themselves, it inevitably ends in tears so I'll have to stay close until that improves. When the weather cools down a bit (we're overseas) we can do the park after lunch with just the two of them.

Thanks again.

I think it probably has more to do with your DD's age than anything else - she is just too small to be much fun for an older sibling to play with just yet. Friends with 3 with similar gaps also tell me that allegiences shift regularly - one with DD1, DS, then DD2 finds that it is DD1 that is often left out, as DD idolises her big brother and wants nothing to do with her big sister. I am sure the balance of power will shift over the next couple of years.

I only have 2, with a larger gap, but youngest is almost 6 now and it is really only in the last 2 years that they have truly played together and they still squabble incessantly.

Thanks stealth, I love hearing that about other mums of 3 saying that the allegiances shift regularly, haven't asked this question to any friends in real life yet so hadn't heard that. It relieves me of some of the paranoia that these two will be at each others throats forever.