Dyslexia and back to basics

[Mummy4life]

Hi

My son is starting year 5 and is in the process of being tested for Dyslexia.

He was a very bright toddler, early talker. I thought he was quite forward, so never worried in those first few years of school. The work was fairly easy, he did homework with my help, never grumbled and I assumed he was average and doing OK.

I've always read to him, but never really pushed him to read back. By the time he was in year 3, it was brought to my attention that he was quite behind and he was offered additional help in maths. His teacher was amazing and he progressed, although, he was still not yet at an average level, he was (we felt) at least on the right path.

He entered year 4 and the work just got more complexed. His teacher was less approachable and although I don't doubt her professionalism, my son and her just never clicked. My son is shy and very slow at doing anything, or following instruction. I think his teacher was probably frustrated by him.

My son just got more and more confused and stopped listening in class and had lost interest in homework. It became a battleground getting him to focus on his work. I have younger children to, so my evenings have to be divided between them all.

I think as well as him needing extra help at school, I also need to find a system that works for us at home so that he gets more quality time with me to work on his learning and homework without feeling rushed. I work in the day,so of an evening I have a task on my hands getting homework done, children fed, baths etc.

My son is very well behaved, polite and calm. But I worry for him as he has lost interest in school and says he feels stupid and doesn't understand like the others do. I feel he is on a slippery slope to falling into the wrong crowds, bunking (when he starts secondary school), or simply just not achieving anything in life.

He ticks all the boxes as far as dyslexia is concerned, and I feel a little comfort in the fact that he will get some additional help in school. But he will have to go back to basics with learning. How will I do this without belittling him? he's at an age where he gets embarrassed by anything and everything. If he was to be given a key stage 1 book to take home to read, he'd be mortified!

I really want to help him and I know that it's going to involve a lot of change at home as well as school.

I feel overwhelmed at the task ahead as I know the start of a new school year is only days away! I don't know where to start. I feel for him, as unlike my other children, he is absolutely dreading year 5.

Does anyone have similar experiences or advice?

Thanks in advance!
M4L

I didn't want to read and wander off, hoping someone else might pop in later with advice.

All I can suggest is something my 11 year old twin sister did with my 7 year old sister when it became obvious she couldn't read. We were home-schooled but our parents were renovating a house and just threw the problem at my sister and I to fix while they got on with plastering walls and laying pipes.

Shamefully, I backed out but my sister hit on the idea of a cartoon / comic book. Basically, she took an exercise book, gave my sister a character to play (Biggles) and started off a story with one line, ie 'Biggles, I'm bored. What can we do?' My little sister had to write the next line in the book, ie 'I'm reading the paper, stop being so annoying'. Cartoon pictures were also allowed, so my sister could cop out by drawing a facial expression or a flying aeroplane or whatever if she didn't feel like writing.

The books went on for years. They grew increasingly hilarious and complex, featuring a vast array of characters and situations. Biggles met crazy French pilots (Rene le Foi), worked in a Siberian labour camp, sat on a park bench with his arch enemy and sobbed his heart out.... it was fabulous.

My little sister is still not the greatest speller but she now runs a successful company and devours literature. It's entirely down to my other sister and those thin red exercise books.

Could this be of use to you?

Very sorry, no similar experience, but did you see the Growing Children: Dyslexia programme on the Beeb last week? Surely it's still on iPlayer... have a look. Was very good as it tackled the lack of confidence/ problems with mainstream schooling/ etc.

There is lots you can do. You can buy special rulers that help with reading:
www.amazon.co.uk/Cooler-ruler-reading/dp/B0048UG8X6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1346568292&sr=8-2
You might also find that black print on a white sheet of paper makes things worse, so consider asking the school to provide him with a pastel yellow, blue or pink sheet of paper when they give him a worksheet.
Check out The British Dyslexia Association's website for support and further ideas to help. The most important thing is that he gets assessed and then put onto the SEN register at school with dyslexia has his specific learning disability. That way he will be given an individual education plan that sets specific targets to tackle the areas he is behind with. Once things start to get explained to him in a way he can understand, and he starts to see that he is making progress an getting things right, he will find the joy in learning again. Also, being on the SEN register will mean he is flagged up to his secondary school during transition and they will have a plan in place for him before he gets there. I am a teacher with dyslexia - albeit mild. Your son being flagged up in year 5 is early which is a good thing, often pupils are not flagged up until secondary school. Good luck

I'm dyslexic and wasn't diagnosed till I was 20 - I'd say the most important thing to tackle is the feeling stupid part. It's a massive barrier to learning in itself, if you just feel like a total incompetant all the time it's horrible, feels horrible - if I told you everytime you read a book I was going to give you electric shocks you'd do everything you could to avoid reading a book.

There are a couple of things that make a difference, explaning what dyslexia is will help. That bits of the brain work differently but that it's a good thing. being different - if everyone was the same the world would be a very boring place. The world isn't set up for a dyslexic and that isn't his fault so he and the world will just have to make a compromise and meet in the middle. He toughs out the stupidly difficult task of reading/writing/spelling/telling the time/learning times tables/telling left from right - whatever it is and the world understands that he will never find it easy and will occasionally throw bits of tech at him or make allowances, or at least it should.

Most dyslexics have a talent for something - usually creative, find out what it is and encourage it. DH who is dyslexic too is a wizz at Martial Arts and Guitar - he might not be abel to read very quickly but he's been abel to out manouvre back belts twice his age since he was 9. I can't express myself easily or quickly on paper but I'm good with people and problem solving, we're both very practicle people, I can put a flat pack together with no bits left over and without reading the instructions ;). Would you believe neither of us can read a jot of music - all those dots just move around on the page too much to make sense - but we write songs together.

The other thing is people all learn differently, from memory there are sight, sound and doing. I'm very much a doing learner - so interesting things like trying to make letter shapes with my body or having the words to a song I already knew written down in front of me and reading it while singing helped me learn to read. My mum and Gran spent endless hours reading to me without pressure pointing at the words they were reading, not 'learning' books - things like 101 Dalmations or The Secret Garden I'm sure that helped too.

This book is ace

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Gift-Dyslexia-Brighest-People/dp/0285638734/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346570352&sr=8-1

Thank you all so much for the very insightful and helpful advice.

I love the idea of the comic book. Your sister was amazing doing that for your younger sister :-) My son is the eldest, so that is a task that will lie with me.

Funny enough - leading on to Trickles post, my son is very creative and is wonderful at art. He has a terrible memory for maths etc. but he can draw brilliantly from memory.

He spends most of his free time creating comic books and inventing characters. The spelling is all muddled up and wrong, but the concept along with the illustrations are great.

His school reports always highlight the fact that he is artistic and creative.

Thank you also for the links. I will definitely need to read up on this more. The school appears to have a good system for supporting dyslexia, but this is new grounds for me, and I don't know how much intervention they will have. I've heard mixed views from parents at the school, so I want to get a head start so he makes a better transition into year 5. I was surprised that a couple of you thought year 5 was early to pick up on it. I thought it was too late? so maybe that's a positive.

Off to check out iplayer now :-) Thank you

M4L

Typically, primary school children are expected to be poor at spelling, reading and writing because they are little and still learning. However, as awareness of dyslexia has increased teachers are trained to recognise the signs so it can be picked up earlier. As Trickle is very important to ensure that your little boy understands he has dyslexia and his brain works a bit differently, but he is NOT stupid. I have little strategies to cope with my issues with numbers. For example, my pin number is a pattern, not a number and therefore easier for me to remember. It sounds like you have got your little boy on the right path.

Lots of great advice here.

Just wanted to add to my earlier post - I work in the film industry and honestly, I'm often the only member of the crew who isn't dyslexic. Dyslexia does seem to carry with it a very strong artistic capability!

My partner is dyslexic (also in the film industry!) and used to love comics as a kid. Frowned upon by his Harvard-educated, intellectual family though, so his confidence took a real dive from that.

Horrible History books proved popular with my younger sister as they were constructed very well with a balance between humour, knowledge, writing and cartoon. Is your son into any interests which might spark some non-pressure reading?