Can anyone help with a toddler and food - we are fast losing our way.....

[WhoahThereCrazyHorse]

DD is 19 months and over the past few weeks I feel like I'm losing my way with what I'm feeding her. She has never been a particularly hungry baby but she had a relatively varied diet and would eat most things - bolognese, chilli, etc - albeit not on huge quantities and she will never entertain eating at all if she's not hungry or too tired. She has always refused 'neat' veg although will now eat fruit, so all the veg she gets in meals at home is hidden in other stuff.

However, recently she seems to be a lot less hungry and is therefore more picky - I have reacted by doing all of the wrong things, such as offering alternatives, stopping bothering to offer veg, and offering only things I know she will eat - fish fingers and waffles anyone?

I'd like to try and re-set what we're doing with her, and I'd really welcome any advice from any gurus/experienced mums - particularly those who have triumphed over non-hungry toddlers. I need to re-visit the food I'm making and try and get some more variety into dd's meals again.

I should add that she is at nursery 4 days a week - she eats everything they give her there and its all good stuff.

Other things to note:

• we can't have dinner as a family through the week as dh often isn't home and I can't eat that early
• dd has 8oz of milk first thing in the morning and last thing at night, I'm wondering if this fills her up meaning she isn't as bothered during the day and therefore is less likely to be bothered about eating.
• dc2 is due in 6 weeks, and we will be reducing dd's days at nursery then so it's all the more important I get back on track as I'll be responsible for more of her nutrition

Any tips/pointers/meal planners greatly appreciated!!

Thanks all
y.

Sorry, that's a bit long isn't it!

Also, please please can someone give me some alternatives to bread?!

DS is also 19m and is a grazer in the pm. He's starving in the morning and wolfs down his breakfast (normally toast, porridge or cereal), then has a snack mid-morning (usually fruit or raisins etc), then has a fairly substantial lunch with a lot of finger food which he enjoys.

Breadsticks, rice cakes and oatcakes are a good alternative to bread. I also cut pita bread into dunkable strips so he can dip them into humous, cream cheese etc. He grazes a lot in the afternoon (fruit, fig-rolls, raisins etc) and so isn't massively hungry in the evening either but will eat a bit of whatever it is we're all having (we eat together at least six times a week). Happy to give you a list of what we have for evening meal if that would help.

You could reduce her milk to semi-skimmed from full fat if you haven't already. Especially the morning one if she's filling up on that one.

You could have a tiny bowl of whatever it is you're making her in the evening. Just to show her that eating is part of what you all do.

IMO as long as my DS is eating a variety of good stuff throughout the day, I'm not too concerned about his appetite at supper time.

Also have you checked she's not teething? It reduces my kids' appetites massively when they are.

I would definitely ditch the milk, it's probably taking her appetite away for the early part of the day and then she's expecting all those extra calories after her supper so she doesn't really have to bother with eating. Either offer it in a cup (assuming she has bottles at the mo?) or replace it with water.

When DS would only eat bread I used to a) put a variety of things on it and b) dip it into a variety of things. So he would eat bread soaked in vegetable soup, or a pasta sauce.

The key is - don't worry too much - pickiness is generally a phase that toddlers go through and if you don't stress it they're much more likely to just go back to eating more normally. Let her try stuff from your plate, or let her 'taste' something you're cooking (mine both loved standing on a chair near the cooker helping me taste things at this age) - just keep offering and not minding if she doesn't want to try it. I've got a potato and rice-striker at the moment - the only carbs he'll eat are bread and pasta - but I try and ring the changes with various sorts of bread and lots of different pasta sauces.

Thanks both - feeling slightly better already! flubba would love your list of evening meals if it's not too much trouble - thanks again.

I'd cut down the milk a bit too - they need around 12oz a day after 12 months, and that includes cheese and yoghurt. I wouldn't switch to semi-skimmed until she is at least 2 though. Instead of giving milk first thing, so straight to breakfast and make it a good meal. I would do a cup of milk mid-afternoon as a snack.

If she eats better at lunch then make that the main meal and be sure to eat with her.

the fat in milk helps us absorb the nutrients in it, so I would not change to semi. Full fat milk is only 4% fat anyway, so hardly a high fat content.

Lots of good tips here already. I would say try and keep the fun in food. I feel this is where I went seriously wrong. It can be so stressful.

Here you go;
chicken curry
lasagne
spag. bol
homemade pizza
shepherd's pie
cottage pie
tuna pasta
baked potatoes & fillings
toad in the hole
thai curry with sticky rice
veggie noodles (cut up noodles though)
veggie risotto
carbonara (with twisty pasta)
spaghetti & meatballs
sausage goulash with couscous
macaroni cheese / cauliflower cheese
chicken or beef stew & dumplings

We also have a few 'quick' meals like eggy bread which we need for certain days when we're back late and kids are hungry.

Brill, thanks flubba and everyone else for the tips. Milk to be reduced as from tomorrow and hopefully a hungry non- fussy toddler might emerge!

Further wisdom required please! So dd did really well at breakfast after reduced milk, and has eaten well all day. After an afternoon of running around outside I'm positive she's hungry, but she has tried a mouthful of cottage pie, spat it out and is refusing to try any more. Wwyd - offer an alternative of toast, no alternative and full milk at bed time, or no alternative (meaning no food since a tiny snack at 2.30) and stick with the tactic of reducing milk? Help!

I always offer fruit or plain yoghurt after dinner regardless of whether the main is eaten, but not an alternative. Dinner is always the meal ds eats least of, but he will always have a bit of banana! If she's eaten well all day then don't stress about one meal, just let her have bedtime milk as usual.

I would offer a bit of banana or a yogurt and stick with the no-milk plan. If she's eaten well all day she may genuinely not be that hungry (often DS goes to bed with literally no supper). It could take a little while for her to stop 'expecting' the evening milk but it sounds like it's going well so far!

Sorry only just seen this. When she gets older, I say no alternative or pudding, but would, at this stage, give her a yoghurt or banana or something similar. I'd still give her milk at bedtime, reduce it first thing if you're going to reduce it at all.

How did you get on?

You could also maybe try, over a period of 2 weeks or so, mixing her morning milk with water, gradually decreasing the quantity of milk. The morning milk (bottle?) is IMO a comfort thing too, and it might make for some really hard mornings if you stop offering it too suddenly? If she gets in the habit of having a good breakfast, she might drop this feed by herself.

Thanks again everyone. I weakened and gave her some toast, followed up with strawberries - but we (dh and me) have agreed no alternatives starting from tomorrow. Tbh I was pretty thrilled with the breakfast and lunch performance, was such a massive improvement!

It might be the amount you put on the plate as well.

I was given a tip when mine were small just to give them small amounts of each food on the plate and then top it up. Heap praise on them doing the 'You've eaten all that, you must have been hungry, see if you want a little more' sort of chat.

I found they ate the food better because they could see the plate emptying faster.

And if they tell you they don't like a particular veg or fruit, don't make a comment, just leave it on the plate. Eventually one day they'll pick it up and eat it.