Really struggling with my 4 year old son

[Megan74]

DS (my second child) is about to start school. He has slowly developed into a monster and I am at my wits end. I just want some tips and reassurance this is just phase. This is what he has done today:

1. Smacked his sister when she wasn't playing tennis as he decided it should be played.
2. Consistently ignores every command (put your shoes on said about 10 times- I could scream).
3. Bit his sister (the second time this week) resulting him being put to bed without watching the DVD he was looking forward to.
4. Told me he doesn't love me any more (in a very insincere way I may add).
5. Runs everywhere at full pelt and throws himself at floors/walls meaning he keeps falling over.
6. Screamed in frustratiion when his friend went in the garden before him and threw himself on the floor sobbing.
7. Weed his pants 4 times even though I kept telling him to go to to the loo.
8. Keeps climbing on me and everything else.
9. Will not sit and eat a meal without me sitting with him, removing his sister from the room (he likes to entertain her with dances etc)

10. Poured manure all over himself just as we were going out.

He' s not all bad. He has also been doing some hilarious impressions of a rock star playing a guitar complete with being on his knees and rocking his head about like he is head banging, he giggles all day and keeps kissing me. But oh boy the rest is hideous. I am dealing with it by taking away treats (like the DVD) and telling him off etc but what else is there?

What happened to that gorgeous sweet boy I used to have?

Oh and the other one is he keeps chasing his sister or our cat everywhere.

Hormones! I read somewhere that boys have a hormone surge between the ages of 4-5. He will settle down. But it may take 6mths or so. School will help as they will expect him to behave.

Only advice I have is maybe a behaviour chart? One that goes up and down depending on his behaviour and a treat when it reaches the top.

6 months .

Megan goes away to lie down in a room whilst seriously considering moving out......

Megan our boys sound almost the same!!

I too am counting the days down til he starts school next Wed. Ive read that too about the hormones and am praying that once he is using his brain at school it'll help him.

No advice but sympathy!

Thankyou. It helps to know I am not the only one. I wa actually beginning to think there was something wrong with him and thinking the school will send him back with a hazard sticker attached. He was the sweetest baby and toddler. It wa clearly the lull before the storm. My DD was never this bad and at 6 i almost good company (except when her brother is winding her up).

Actually it has dawned on me that my sister has 4 of these creatures . They are all younger than mine though (yes I know 4 children in 3 years!!) so she clearly doesn't know what's coming. I think I should make up the spare room now.

Sounds very similar and, sadly, utterly normal to me! My DS1 is 5 and like this a lot of the time (school doesn't knock it out of them, I'll warn you now - they learn all sorts of new horrors from the 'naughty' boys in the class!). It does get better when he is properly occupied or working towards a treat via a star chart. But very, very trying and annoying. Am often shouting like a fishwife at him or in tears. Rewarding good behaviour and taking away treats for bad behaviour is pretty much all you can do. That and know you are not alone, and have a LARGE gin and tonic waiting for you as soon as the DCs are in bed

I have a horrible feeling mine is the naughty boy. Please tell me they can't get worse. When do they turn normal? Anyone?

They dont turn normal. I know anything spawned from me and DH will be anything but!

I have a friend with four boys. Eldest is 5. Hard to imagine.