hyper parenting

[hatjam]

hello! anyone else out there feeling under pressure to do more more more more more with their kids? it's as if there's a conspiracy to fill their every second and control everything they're doing. i alternate wildly between feeling happy that my 11 year old twins just kick back after all their homework is done, and feeling that they should be doing loads of extra classes, like most of their friends. am i certifiable?

Well, when I grew up I didn't do a single extra class ever and I can't say I feel like I missed out.

Also, I have to say, if I'd known how busy my life would become in my thirties, I would have appreciated kicking back when I was eleven a lot more.

ha - good point. maybe that's why it's happening - such busy busy parents feel there's something wrong with not being busy all the time. i blame mrs thatcher (so easy!)

Yep! I don't understand why parents get themselves into debt just to go on holiday in order to spend time together as a family? Don't they ever spend time together at home or go to the park (all of which are free)?

When I was a child, we did not go away on holiday but we did go on day trips because that was all my parents could afford (5 children and low paid jobs). We did not feel deprived and even now, we remember those day trips with fondness.

I also think some parents become maniacal about their expectation's regarding their child's education. I pity those hothouse kids who get carted off to some overpriced tuition group for the 11+ during the holidays instead of being able to relax and play. Then, if they do get to grammer school, they struggle because they are not naturally academic .

I personally feel that some parent's expectations takes the fun out of childhood for their off-spring.

I dont think they should be doing any extra school activities... I certainly never did... and I certainly didn't wish I did... However I am glad my mum took me to dancing and swimming lessons as they helped form the person I am now... and we went skiing in the winter. All these skills I am glad I have under my belt now!

yeah - swimming lessons could be regarded as a safety measure, i agree - but there's such a lot of one-upmanship going on with the activities kids do outside school, you're made to feel like a failure if you're not cramming every second with something constructive - and the same is true with holidays too. kids go to more and more exotic destinations with their families and buckets'n'spades in cornwall don't rate any more, i'm afraid.

I didn't do a single class.

I hated feeling left out and I was a very creative child, this was stifled as I was discouraged from taking any of my interests further. I was very envious of my friends who had drama/swimming/horse riding/tennis/art/pottery/netball/ballet etc. I guess it made me feel a little out of the loop.

I know it may sound daft but I am really bad at motivating myself I think as a result!

According to the Sunday Times (or possibly the FT I can't remember) the best thing to say to someone who is telling you about their latest exotic holiday is "How is your carbon footprint these days?"

There was a good one to say to people who were boasting about their kids' achievements, but I can't remember it off-hand.

Now that I think back, I remember that I did loads of activities, not after school so much but in the holidays. I don't think it was hyper parenting though, I think it was more to do with my tendency to loll around the house whinging "I'm bored".