Unsettled 11 month old

[mermaid101]

My DD is 11 months old. Up until now she has been a pretty easy going, happy wee thing and best of all, she has been, overall, a good sleeper.

I have recently gone back to work full time, her dad has changed from full time to part time to look after her and she is going to nursery two days a week. So I realise there have been a lot of changes in her life.

However, she is becoming increasingly unsettled. She has gone from sleeping 7 -7 to waking three or four times a night and she takes a while to go to sleep now, whereas before she just went to sleep. She has also become very clingy with her Dad and me and cries if we leave the room or if she sees anyone else.

I feel like I'm really struggling with this. Primarily, I feel so guilty and I'm viewing this change as a sign that Ive really upset her and I'm doing something wrong. My DH and I are also struggling with the broken sleep; me because I'm back working at a fairly full on full time job for the first time in almost a year and him because I think he is finding being at home with a child for the majority of the time very tiring.

Can anyone offer me any advice or reassurance? I feel like I'm drowning a bit and am really feeling that although this set up is really the only viable one for us, that we might be doing the wrong thing.

Is she beginning to teethe? That really really unsettled my DCs sleep, as did when mine were learning to crawl/ walk, they'd move a lot in their sleep, get their legs caught in the bars, pull themselves up etc.

If she has always been a great sleeper, it will come back if you're consistent. I would never turn the light on, or leave the room with them if possible. I tried not to feed the habit But I would offer them a drink or some teething gel if I felt it was needed of course at 11 months old.

The other thing I was thinking about, was that mine slept worse, the more over tired they became. How are her daytime naps and what time does she go to bed?

Try not feel guilty, it is just another phase and she will come through it.

Thanks so much DontstepontheMomeRaths. I really appreciate the reassurance, especially about the guilt and the sleep. It seems so important just now.

I hadn't thought of teething although it makes perfect sense now you mention it. She only has two teeth which came in at about 6 months so I would say there has to be more on the way. She isn't really displaying any symptoms, but I think the teeth she had came through without too much notice so that could certainly be it.

We have been doing as you suggested and keeping nights quiet and dark and minimal interaction. While this is hard, at least it makes me feel like we have a strategy and last night was quite a bit better.

Her naps are fairly consistent, but i think she might be at the stage of dropping her half hour morning cat nap.

I had heard about "the guilt" you get as a working parent. I thought I would be able to rise above it and rationalise it, but this has not been the case.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I felt considerably better when I read your reply.

Hi mermaid, we experienced a really similar thing - my wee boy started nursery when he was nearly 10 months and to be honest the first month was really rough in terms of his eating and sleep - I think there was just so much for him to adjust to! He also had some really bad separation anxiety to deal with.

After the first few weeks it was markedly better and now he's back to pretty good sleep (though insists on waking before 6 usually) - except for when he's picked up a bug, like this last weekend.

He's now also really happy at nursery and holds out his arms for his key person when we get there in the mornings.

Thanks urbandaisy,

It's good to know that things do get better. The whole nursery thing hasn't been going that well either. Did you do anything to try to help the separation anxiety or is it something you just had to ride out?

I had heard that this age was probably not the best for starting nursery and a few friends and colleagues had suggested starting her when she was closer to 6 months. It wasn't really an option because of finances, but I now wish I had listened and tried to sort something out.

Do you feel everything's back on an even keel now? How long would you say it took?

Don't know if this will help at all but with my DS when one of us is going to work we make sure DS sees us leave the house. I work PT and DH works full time and before we started doing this DS used to spend hours looking for me in the house when I went to work. Just a thought.