Am I making a rod for my own back at mealtimes?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

DS is almost 20 mo and has meals at the table with me (and DH where possible), sat on a booster seat. I would say he's generally a good eater and I am very aware not to make meals a battleground etc.
However....he has taken to wanting to have his pudding about 3 mouthfuls into his main meal (not every meal, mainly when he's not so keen in what's offered). His speech is delayed due to hearing problems so he points repeatedly at the fridge, pulling my arm etc. I always tend to get up, pass him his fruit/yoghurt or whatever, sit back down and he'll carry on eating. Mostly mixing up his main meal into pudding and eating it like that. I also let him get down as soon as he indicates he wants to, even if he's hardly eaten.
I just think it's up to him. DH wants him to eat 'properly'... I'm pregnant too (any excuse to be lax...) and just think anything for an easy life but I don't want to get into bad habits now?

I was always lax with this, so understand where you are coming from.

DD is now 8.5 and is a grazer. She isn't fussed about big meals.

At a certain age I enforced table manners, not sure if it was as early as 20 months (may have been) so that if she wanted to get down from the table she had to ask (which may be a problem with your DS speech delay), say her 'please' and 'thankyous' etc

I think that "eating properly" depends on the child and what fills them up, not what is considered socially correct at such an early age.

What's important is that they eat. If DS is getting down from the table and then 10 minutes later asks for more food, it is worth while persevering and making him eat more of his meal.

I am sure I will read other comments blasting my theory out of the water. This is what I did for my child based on my circumstances, to suit our needs.

As with you OP, if it suits you and your routine and he is eating well, I wouldn't be fussed.

However, do not forget that at some point in the future, it will be important that he sits and waits and eats his meals in the correct order - think about going to school/family meals out.

Thank you. I dont have a problem with him wanting food out of mealtimes, if he doesn't sit and eat then it's normally because he's not hungry and he doesnt fill up inbetween.
I guess what I was getting at is what you alluded to - I don't want him to think that that's how things are done! However it's hard to know what age to start with stuff like that.
He has 2 lunches at CM in the week and she hasn't mentioned it. So he's probably fine with her, like with everything else

ah yes, the delightful way they behave one way for CM/GP's and another for us mere minnions parents!