Bl**dy weaning - at wits end

[furryfriends57]

I am hoping someone can help, DD is 10 months and I have had problems weaning from the very start. I started at approx 6 months but couldn't use rice as it made her constipated so I concentrated on veg and fruit purees, except for banana as that made her constipated also. She always loved her bottles but was very picky with food, might have some today but would spew it out tomorrow. Now at 10 months she has a very limited diet, doesn't like meat and has gone off the veg she did like. I tried so many recipes from weaning books and she spat them all out so also tried shop bought food from the very expensive to cheap and she also spat them out so at least its not my cooking!
I know everyone says till 1 is just for fun but I can't help worrying that she will get into the habit of being picky with food and that it will affect her development.
She had silent reflux for the first 4 months and sometimes I see globs up her nose like in the early days so am wondering if the reflux might still be there and affecting her eating habits.
Any advice or personal experience greatly appreciated , FTM so haven't a clue.

Both mine went through picky phases, but will eat pretty much anything now.

How is she with finger food? How do you feel about just giving her a selection of finger foods on her tray and leaving her to her own devices? No fuss, cajoling or begging, just let her eat what she wants and clear the leftovers away without comment. Sometimes just not getting a reaction out of you can snap them out of the picky pickies.

The only meat my boys will reliably eat is mince. Think the texture of chunks of meat is quite hard, tho my 16 month will chew on a finger of roast, and then spit out the soggy remains.

Would she steal food off your plate? And do you eat with her? Mine seem to eat much more if I sit down and eat with them - or if they have a picnic in the garden!

I would follow WelshMaenad's advice on feeding and - I know this is really difficult - try to completely relax about it. She will most likely be fine and sometimes I think they pick up on your tension and it makes them fuss.

Don't forget that sometimes they don't feel like eating if they're teething.

Her reflux will most likely still be bothering her so, clever thing that she is, will reject foods. I've got two who've had/have silent reflux and found weaning a challenge.

Best approach was to cook simple meals, avoid anything acidic or too fatty and have it on a plate in sections eg meat/carb/veg so they can pick what they want.

Try foods like chicken, rice, potatoes, parsnip, sweet potato, gluten free pasta and see how she gets on. Give small amounts of fruit but avoid citrus and tomatoes.

Weaning reflux babies can be tough if you expect to be able to feed meals similar to you. I found my two did better with "meat and two veg style" ie plain and simple, easy to digest. Ds, my eldest, eats a wider range now he's outgrown a lot of his intolerances.

I'm FTM with no clue either but I did go through Hell trying to wean DS. Same as your DD there was never anything he consistently liked, he'd spew out something he ate the previous day, and would cry as soon as a bowl of food was introduced. At about 10mo he started blowing raspberries at everything we gave him and pushing it away without trying it. I got so worried that he was going to suffer because he wasn't eating, he's on the small side anyway.

In the end we followed my DMs harsh-sounding advice, and as soon as he blew a raspberry at his food, we picked it up, took it away, got him down and went away and ate something ourselves. After a few days he started to get curious in what we were eating and asking to try it. In addition, we offered him a lot of finger foods he could feed himself, and would put these on a plate near him when he played so there was no 'in your highchair eat now' pressure. By 11mo he could eat with a spoon and we've had no issues since.

I don't think DS was fussy but he doesn't like being fussed with - so he hates being cleaned up and having his nappy changed. I think alot of his problems with weaning came from us feeding him, since it seemed to stop when he learnt to do it himself.

Oh thanks so much for your replies and suggestions . Unfortunately finger foods aren't working either and to be fair thats may fault as she used try to take food and put it in her mouth but I discouraged her and now she will pick food up but will never put it in her mouth (everything nonedible ends up there tho, would love to know how she knows the difference), she looks at it and then drops it on the floor, hence the dogs first port of call is the high chair. Do ye have any suggestions on how to get her interested in finger foods as she seems an independent little miss and I think would do better on it.
Iggly v interesting re silent reflux and weaning I think that has something to do with it as well. Will try any sugegstions on how to get back to finger foods and hope it improves.

How about cutting something up and putting it on a plate between you, then you put some in your mouth and make some lovely 'Mmmmmm' noises, or 'num num num' ( ) to show her that you're eating with your hands and it's lovely. Do you think she'd copy you?

Do you know other people nearby with small children? My DS is generally a good eater but he's definitely more determined when around "potential competition"! Also as they like to copy they'll try new things cos they see others eating it. I was really lucky to have a good friend down the road with a similar aged child and we teamed up quite a lot a lunch/tea time, our kids got different things, we could have a chat and share the clear up and they loved munching things together. Still at 2.5 + he has times when something's a total "my favourite" and another day "I don't like it". We did haphazard weaning, like baby led but less organised and he's always had days when it's all about the protein then another day he's only into carbs then he'll live on fruit another day. Only wish he could tell me which so I could get the right things and not have to waste the rest! It can also vary meal to meal, so Sunday lunchtime he was all about the bread and tomatoes, cucumber etc, not bothered about ham/cheese, both favourites. Sunday tea time he ate both drumsticks off the roast chicken but only one small boiled potato, fruit for pudding. I think it's all random all of the time and that's helped keep me sane ish. Good luck, 10 months is boundary investigating anyway so hang in there!!!!!

I have been struggling with my 9mo twins too- well, DTD anyway who is very variable in her appetite (always room for yoghurt though) and often refuses anything on a spoon.
On her off days the only way I can feed her is to chop 'proper' food up into bitesize pieces and feed her with my fingers or with chopsticks. She will eat more or less anything that way -cheese on toast, sardines, bits of meat/chicken/salmon, vegetables, bits of pasta etc. She is tiny (2nd centile) so I am not happy to follow the 'food is fun until they're one' mantra.

Her brother ends up eating all her leftovers so he's happy enough.

ceeveebee there is nothing wrong with being on the 2nd centile - its where 2 in every 100 children will be at or below. If she is on similar centiles for height and weight, and generally following a centile, shes perfect for her.

And if you and/or DH have a small build its more likely your kids will be following a line below 50 - infact if your 5', married to someone who is 5'5, and you had a 98centile baby, I'd be worried!

Thanks - but as her twin brother is between 50th-75th - and yes I am short but DH is 6ft! She was 3lb10 at birth (full term) spent a while in NICU and took her 6 weeks to even get on the chart ie she was well below 0.4th centile - so I am probably a bit over cautios about her intake!

Thanks again for replies
MrsPickle unfortunately don't have anyone close by to use as competition but can see how it would work. Must be on the lookout for some victims.
Tyranno yes I think i'll try bits of food on the blanket she plays on as it may be less confrontational and she might experiment. I'd love if she was into finger foods because at the moment she doesn't eat a range of fruit, just raspberries and strawberries in yoghurt.
Ceevee sorry to hear you are also running into problems, I find it a bit sould destroying as I don't seem to be able to second guess what she will eat. I've thrown out so many dinners its awful. DD is the same as your DD and will eat yoghurt - lots of, suppose its better than nothing.

Like MSPickle we followed our own version of baby led weaning. The best thing was that it encourages you to eat together so that DS got to know how to eat without choking and that it's a social activity. It also meant I didn't have to mess about with all that pureeing rubbish. He's only ever eaten exactly what we do. The only difference to us is that we add salt after cooking, anything spicy or particularly difficult to eat is left to Saturday nights (and we have a very light tea with him) and initially most food was cut into pieces that were easy for little fingers to pick up. It also means whoever is looking after him has an early dinner, but that's supposed to be good for the digestion anyway!

We're really lucky that at 21mo he eats pretty much anything, but he still goes through phases sometimes of eating nothing but protein, or carbs, or refusing something he previously enjoyed or eating nothing/ eating everything in sight. He didn't eat meat for ages (and even now it's limited but growing), but I put that down to him being a late teether.

I think all babies and toddlers are a bit picky as they assert their independence. I try not to worry about it because I don't want it to become something he picks up on. If you're worried about her getting all the right vitamins etc, you can get vitamin drops cheaply from your local children's centre. We did it til he was 18m and I felt comfortable that on a weekly, if not daily, basis he was getting a well-rounded diet. Good luck, and try not to worry!

ceeveebee can totally understand you being worried, and I'm not a medical proffesional, but I'd be tempted to say she is petite, and takes after you, while her brother takes after your husband. If you really want to up her intake, milk is about as calorie filled as you can get. Fruit, veg, carbs, meat will have a lower calorie density, so maybe she is filling up on milk as she needs the calories? Sorry if I'm speeking out of turn, and you've been through all this 101 times.

Hi - no she drinks less milk than her brother and less than the recommended minimum 20oz- I agree she'll always be petite but she stopped growing at 32 weeks gestation due to placenta issues - not just because I am only 5ft2!

Sorry for thread hijack op

Hi Cee vee, don't worry about hijacking, if you get an answer or some reassurance from this then all the better.
At 9mo your twins seem so advanced compared to dd if thats any consolation, I just try to convince mysel that they all even out eventually.

Hi, just thought I'd add my bit as my dd at 8 months is exactly the same. She is very independent and completely refuses to be fed anything. This week I have been allowed to give her yoghurt (3 tiny spoons) before she refuses it again!

She is having all finger foods but what she eats is absolutly tiny in quantity! Like at breakfast she may have 1cm of marmite on toast, lunch maybe a tiny bit of yoghurt and a tiny piece of carrot and apple muffin. Dinner is whatever we are having but nothing ever really goes in her mouth.

Do your dcs actually swallow the food once it is in their mouths? Dd just seems to spit it all back out! Also is your dc still having loads of milk - dd is still on 6 bottles! Don't really know what to do - I hate weaning!!

Hi Zambaloo, am with you on the hating weaning. Had a very bad day today she even refused yoghurt which has been the backbone of her diet. She was always a great sleeper and is now waking a few times a night because she's teething and probably hungry. I am so fed up with this now and feel such a failure. At least your little one is trying finger foods. Yes , my one spits it out, more squirts really so it can dribble nicely down her front and onto her clothes. I'd love to kick my own ass for stopping her putting food in her mouth in the early days, I was just so scared she'd choke but know better now. I have visions of this never getting better and pray I'm wrong. Anyway pityparty over best get back to washing bibs again

One thing I read which has really helped is something about babies having to try a new food something like 13 times before they will accept it (obviously not true for most babies I've come across) but I have noticed that if I give dd the same food for 5 days running she will start off being very wary of it but after a few days she starts to eat some.

I've been so worried about her not eating - I've got a baby led weaning cookbook. There are some healthy muffins in there with carrot, apple, coconut, dates etc. - I made a batch of 12, she hated them at first but had about 1/4 of one today so I'm going to try making them again.

She will also only ever eat something if I am eating it too - she seems so suspicious of everything but like you say puts every non food item straight in her mouth!

Is your dd still having 5/6 milk feeds a day? Are you still having to feed her at night?

Here's hoping for a more successful day tomorrow!

I'm beginning to think the silent reflux is the issue, she's got these globs up her nose every few days and is swallowing hard every so often. I took her to a cranial sacral therapist when she was 4 months and it cleared it up so I'll go back again. Posting here has helped me see the wood from the trees as I had to summarise it and really think about what was happening.
DD has been stepping back her bottles the last few weeks. I'm still making up 7 oz but she isn't drinking all the bottle like before. She drinks 5 bottles over 2 days approx for the last week. I finally found a sippy cup she likes and she often sips on that so I think thats filling her but only adds to my worry about her being malnourished.
I wish DD was as adventerous as yours, she eats a few bits of my home made brown bread or some toast but thats it. She has such a sweet tooth, I think if I gave her more sweet stuff she'd eat better but I won't do that as it just feeds another bad habit.

I doubt cranial will help with the reflux (I used it with dd when she was tiny) - I'd look at her diet and keep a tab of what she's eating and any reactions. We found dairy, citrus fruits and fatty stuff to be the worst.

My dd had silent reflux which was also cured by cranial osteopathy. My hv told me that babies who have had reflux are often v fussy because they have negative associations with food (ie. food = pain). I think a trip back would be worth a go.

My dd also has such a sweet tooth - after a period of a couple of weeks where she was just refusing everything I thought sod it I'll just try her with a bit of cake just to see what happens - she shoved it in & even opened her mouth to let me feed her. That kind if made me more determined to get her to eat as I just realised how fussy she is ( hence the savoury muffins - cake like but healthy). I'll pm you the recipe if you'd like it - at least I'm getting a bit of carrot & apple inside her now.

Also ( you've probably thought of this) but try mixing puréed fruit into a yoghurt - I'm going to try this next too. Let us know if the osteopath makes a difference. I'm crossing my fingers for you!

Re getting her to like finger food: have you tried getting her to feed you? I do this with my dts with new foods, and it often helps them try something. Doesn't guarantee they'll like it tho!

I know it's hard not to worry, but your stress can only make the situation worse. Ds1 didn't eat a single thing till 11 months, and was super fussy after that. He got better after we completely back off. Now, age 4, he is the size of a 6 year old and wants to try new flavours. Some kids and babies just do things at their own pace.

Yes I think theres nothing to lose by going back, the signs she had in the early days are back such as sneezing for no reason, regular hiccups, blobs up her nose and worst of all the unconsolable crying. Guy I took her to improved it last time so will try again, figure have nothing to lose (except more money of course).
Zam can you Pm me the recipe as they sound lovely (am sure we'll eat them if she doesn't). Hope you had a good day today.

I've pm'd you the recipe.