What's the hardest bit about having a toddler and a newborn?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I'm sat here (with DS1 - 19mo- asleep upstairs), 16 wks preg, having one of those 'what the fuck was I thinking' moments.
A dear friend has just left after visiting with her screaming 15 wk baby and I'm thinking I don't actually want another baby....but another toddler!
I know it's going to be hard when the baby arrives - but what did you think was the hardest part? Is it the tiredness? Is it the toddler's behaviour?

Fore-warned is fore-armed and all that kidding myself

If you haven't done childcare at all before now, get yourself sorted for a preschool or playgroup for DS1 and you'll be fine. Once they turn 3 they get 15 free hours, so doesn't even cost money for long. Baby will be a holiday compared to toddler, you'll wonder what was so hard about it first time round. Any time alone with your baby will feel like time off, honestly. With any luck you can get preschool for DS1 in the morning (maybe two or 3?) - pick the up, put them down for nap, barely have to do anything for them til post nap time.
I have 3 kids, all two year gaps and it's actually OK. Good luck!

oh yeah maybe give them lunch before nap!! 3 kids = slapdash mummy, obviously!

I'd say the hardest bit is having a toddler and newborn. I take my hat off to you.

Hardest bit was simply the tiredness for me.

Up all night with a baby - crap. Up all night with a baby then keep a toddler entertained all day - hellish.

Things that helped - get someone to take the older one out for a few hours or even overnight occasionally (eg to a grandparent) I really missed that first child got loads of 1:1 time, new baby had to share me all the time.

But, youngest is 3 now and they are best friends, love each other so much and are total partners in crime It does get much easier, eventually.

OP, I've been thinking exactly the same thing, although I'm further along than you (almost 39wks!) and DS has just turned 2 and is a bloody nightmare. I'm very close to freaking out so I'd also be grateful for any advice/warning.

I had a slightly bigger gap (2.5yrs) and found having a toddler and newborn hard, but it was easier than being massively pregnant and having a toddler

Sayanything - good luck and just think, you'll be over the worst just as it starts for me

Thanks Joseph, maybe we'll be the lucky ones and both our newborns and our PFBs behave angelically. Well, one can hope, no? Good luck to you too!

sleep deprivation because of breastfeeding the newborn was the hardest bit for me, personally (whilst also trying to be on the ball and entertain the toddler during the day).

worst thing for me: no mental space. for the first three months it felt like all the available space between my ears was crammed full of other people's noise and needs.

it's still great though :) or should i say, it keeps getting better and better

I was terribly anxious about this during pregnancy (taking medication still). DS is now 7 weeks and DD just 3. So far it's all an awful lot easier than I'd been anticipating. He's a very different baby to DD. i was worrid about not bonding with him, but it was instant actually. The hardest thing is dealing with my changed relationship with DD.

The practical things I was worried about - how to do bath and teatime, for example, or how to manage DD while breastfeeding DS - have pretty much taken care of themselves and are not problematic.

I had help for the first 4 weeks - DH paternity leave, then my mum came for a week, then she took DD for a few days.

The first three months were the worst, until the baby slept through the night - looking after a boisterous toddler on broken sleep was very very hard. Far harder and more of a shock than the first baby !

But once I was getting an unbroken night's sleep anything was possible.

Ds2 now 5 months and ds1 now 3. The hardest part I would say is not being able to devote my full attention to ds1 any more. But it really is not as difficult as you expect. I remember letting ds1 sleep on my lap all day as a newborn. I got round not being able to do this with ds2 by using a sling instead. My top tip would be get a good sling!

Agree with puddle jumper, the first couple of months are fairly easy as they sleep so much in the day.

I have a 14 month old and am 17 weeks pregnant I am shitting myself I am slightly concerned about how I will cope especially as exp won't be helping much I'm worried about lack of sleep and feeling isolated I am a loner and have no friends but am trying to stay positive ha bloody ha I also have two other children pass the Valium so am going to try and get into a routine as soon as possible not that it's ever worked before and hope for the best. Good luck! we will need it