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Original poster

Childbirth was never this painful! - Your tales of mother and tots group hell

15 replies

Jac1978 · 20/08/2012 23:23

Does your mums and tots group make you feel deflated? What's the most inane conversation you've had? Have you ever put your foot in it with another mum? Is yours too cliquey for words? Do you ever wonder why you put yourself through it?!!!

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darksideofthemooncup · 20/08/2012 23:38

I couldn't BEAR it. We moved here when my dd was 18 months old and I thought it would be a good way of meeting new mums and making some friends, but it was all so cliquey.
I don't have any tales of horror but it was the enforced jollity and sitting on the sidelines desperately trying to think of something, ANYTHING to say to these (probably lovely tbf) women who all seemed so blimmin capable.
I lasted a few sessions and gave up, my dd didn't seem to enjoy it and we were much happier not going

Janoschi · 21/08/2012 02:02

Never done one. Very pleased. I sat next to one in a cafe once and the bitching was appalling. Happy to just take 15mo DD to parks, museums etc.

Why join a group in which the only common denominator is that you all managed to procreate at roughly the same time?

And don't get me started on 'sling meets'.

MamaBear17 · 21/08/2012 07:59

I didn't produce breast milk - my milk literally never came in. I went to the GP and she told me that nothing I could do would change it, my body wasnt reacting as it should and I had to ff. At a mother and baby group another mum saw me give dd a bottle and asked if it was expressed milk. I said no and started to tell my take of woe about bf and she turned to me and said the following: 'its a myth that women don't produce milk, that is just something people tell themselves to make them feel better when they give up. I breastfed twins, you have no excuse'. I didnt go to many. I got fed up of having to walk around at the back with a screaming dd (she had colic) whilst everyone elses babies lay on the playmats gurgling happily!

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BombasticAghast · 21/08/2012 08:00

The OP reads like a journo.

Be prepared for your responses to appear in the Daily Fail.

jaggythistle · 21/08/2012 08:03

i also thought 'sounds like something from a magazine'! Grin

jimmenycricket · 21/08/2012 08:04

Don't go then.

There, did that help? Wink

I had one convo about poo and never returned.

happystory · 21/08/2012 08:04

Hmmmm. No need to start a thread TBH, there are loads on here on that topic!

PeazlyPops · 21/08/2012 09:26

Definitely reads like a journalist!

Janoschi · 21/08/2012 15:35

MamaBear, that sounds terrible.

The conversation I listened into featured a bunch of dishevelled new mums and an immaculate Queen Bee new mum. One of the messier mums sat down with an 'oooh, still hurts eh?'. Queen Bee gave her a frosty stare and replied 'I'm surprised you're still sore, I'm fine'. Their babies all looked about a week old. I had a 7 month old DD and wanted to tell the first mum that I was still sore but couldn't be arsed to get into a contest. So-called 'support' groups.

vesela · 21/08/2012 21:57

Do journalists not realise that they sound like journalists?

BrianButterfield · 21/08/2012 22:05

I really enjoyed going to groups. Everyone I met was really friendly, I always had someone to talk to and I made some friends there, and I'm not the most sociable of people. At the very least I left the house and had a coffee I didn't make myself, which some days is all you can hope for.

Original poster
Jac1978 · 22/08/2012 09:55

Lol! Am just a receptionist who is probably going to end up being a SAHM! I was talking to another mum about how much we hated mums group and she told me this funny story about how she nearly sat on someones child at a group and I just wondered if anyone else had any funny stories! Sorry if it sounded like a journalist maybe I've been watching too many tv discussions but I swear I'm not a journalist! Did amuse me though - I guess there are worse things you can be called!

OP posts:
BartletForTeamGB · 22/08/2012 12:15

I always hear about these strange rude women at toddlers' groups and yet, I have never met any of them! I got to put DS down for a bit and have a cup of tea. It wasn't particularly painful.

Machadaynu · 22/08/2012 12:25

Try going as a dad :)

You will get ignored - which is fine, I expect a lot of mum's get ignored. Or you will get looked at with suspicion. Or you will get people telling you how great they think it is that you - er - are being a parent to your child. Or you will get people looking after you, assuming you can't make coffee for yourself and doing it for you. That's quite good, actually.

For the first few times at an activity thing, the leader will refer to the parents as 'mums', then she will remember and say 'mums and dad' and then she will realise that it's more work that way and switch back to 'mums'

PeazlyPops · 22/08/2012 16:50

I've never had a bad experience either. It's nice to chat to other mums and have a cuppa while the babies lay on the mats/blankets

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