Is it wrong to allow a child (boy) to continiue to believe in fairies? (age 9)

[Cherylynne]

My DS (nearly 9) was on a camping trip recently and there was a fairy garden there. He decided to leave messages - the fairy replied and left messages and gifts ( a bag of sweets, bouncy ball) Now that he is home there is now a fairy house in my garden with a message attached. My dilema is 1 - do 'the fairies' leave a message and continue ( will he be disappointed if there is no pressie with it?) 2 My DH thinks that it's ridiculous that an 8 year old boy believes in fairies and that he'll get teased for doing so if he stands up in class and tells everyone that the fairies left him a present in the garden. ??? I'm interested if anyone else has sons that still believe? is it cruel? ?????
We are still in the middle of an Ed Psych referral, which we think will probably come out as Aspergers Syndrome -

Thanks

Awww, that's sweet.
but given he's Asperger's, I wonder if you need to tell him the truth, because he can't handle the subtletlies of make-believe, and he will make himself look seilly.

Aw, it's a hard one that. Does he believe in Santa? It's the same thing really. I think the end of believing in fairies and Santa should come at about the same time. I know a 9 year old girl (dont think sex is relevent really) who still believes in both (well, we think she does, but she may just be playing along) but she has a younger sister so perhaps that is why. What age they stop probably depends on the school they go to and friends they have as well.

he has 2 younger brothers ( 7 and 3) and I kind of think that once his bubble bursts so will theirs. He believes in all sorts, Santa, Jack whatever from pirates of the Caribbean, James Bond. He spent a whole year at age 3 pretending to be Diego. He's very creative and believes all these things are real. He read a book recently where the main character writes an intro saying that he is 400 years old. DS believes this is true as it's written in a book.

Could you tell him that the fairies only live where your DS went camping i.e. not in a suburban garden? Tell him that he can leave his fairy house out but that the fairies won't leave a message for him there this time.

Just as I clicked on your thread dd came in to ask me 'why don't fairies live in this country?' I was about to reply 'maybe it's not hot enough' but she got there first and said 'I think it's too not for them!'

So, I think fireoverbabylon has the right answer.

As the mother of a boy on the spectrum, I can understand your dh wanting to protect your ds from teasing. But to be totally honest, I think it's really important to let him be himself, much more important than trying to make him fit in. Waiting for diagnosis is a very tough time though, until something's in black and white it still might just 'go away'.

Hope I'm not out of line. Just suggesting that perhaps there is another issue going on here, not about fairies as such, just that it's really difficult coming to terms with your child being different, whatever that difference may be.