How should I have handled my 2 year old in this situation?

[Flowerface]

I went to see a friend yesterday with my 2.5 year old DD and 4 month old DS. The friend had a baby four days ago, and also has two older children with whom DD regularly plays. The older children were out and DD went off to play with the toys (while DS puked all over their sofa... ). She became increasingly unhinged, shouting and yelling when asked to keep it down due to sleeping baby, and eventually found a pen and ran off with it, making to draw all over the be-puked sofa. When I extricated the pen from her she screamed blue murder as the increasingly frazzled new mother tried to smile benignly. SO I (stupidly?) asked her to apologise, to which she responded "I won't". After repeated attempts at this we just gave up and left...

I was truly embarrassed and cross. And also feel that I mishandled the situation. Should I have just left, without asking her to apologise? Is there any point trying to explain to a 2 year old that they have misbehaved? There is literally no sanction that registers with her.

I'd have just left as soon as she became unhinged and shouty.

You did fine. She might have calmed right down and then you would have left without seeing your friend. That's the 'joy' of infants. You never know what they are going to do.

I feel as though my repeated efforts to get her to apologise were counterproductive, since she just became screamier. And my poor friend... I should have just marched her out. On the other hand, WHY wouldn't she just say sorry!?!?

because she is two!

in those circumstances if being shoutsy/screamy and not quieting down i would have made her sit down somewhere quietly, warning her that if she did not she would have to go home.

ime you cant just tell a two yr old to be quiet you need to physically sit them down, get down on their level and tell them to be quiet. you can always offer to read them a story etc or give them a book to sit and look at once they have sat quietly for a min, at that age if she managed to sit quietly for 30 seconds i would then say, thats good, praise her for being quiet and get a book to look at, try and engage her in a quiet activity.

she is very little still, it was just an off day i wouldnt worry about it, maybe an apology to your friend from you, but as she has 3? of her own she will have experienced similar herself no doubt!

Yes ditch the apology - you can say sorry on her behalf.

I'd have had snacks to hand as bribery. Also got her interested in toys. I'm willing to bet the attention you were giving your DS and the new baby set her off.

I have a 2.10 year old and 8 month old. I feel your pain and avoid playdates