do I actually have the messiest 3 year old in the world?

[rhetorician]

dd1 is three and a half; she is the messiest child you could wish to meet. If she eats a cake, there will be crumbs within a mile radius; if she is given spaghetti it will be smushed all over the table; food of any kind is liable to end up all over face, hands, in hair. I am not exactly fastidious, but I am sick of it. I have a feeling that she just can't help it, as no amount of nagging, ignoring, incentivising, getting cross, positive praise, modelling seems to make any difference. She knows what is expected of her and will say 'look mummy, I'm eating it neatly' - but this will usually be followed by something being dropped or smeared. But i really can't stand it, and now she is that little bit older, it's a bit embarrassing when I take her to people's houses/out to eat. She also looks like we don't clean her or wash her properly, which is far from being the case.

She is on track in every other way - she does like sensory play (water, sand etc), is not notably physically clumsy at other things. What do I do? Wait for her to grow out of it?

Sounds like my DS (3.4). He looks filthy within minutes of getting up/being washed, most of his t-shirts are stained with I don't know what, and you could grow potatoes in his fingernails. He gets washed lots, but he's a dirt magnet.

I try to keep him clean, remind him to eat nicely, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. His 17 month old sister makes less mess at mealtimes than he does.

To be fair, I think he might get it from me-I drop food on myself more often than I should, and I have been known to leave the house without brushing my hair...

No advice, but I thought you'd want to know that you're not alone!

As a first time parent I just assumed that my little one would be creating a world of mess for a really long time (3 doesn't sounds unreasonable!). I guess that isn't the norm but if it helps I'd think your little one was unbelievably cute with their messy little person-ness if they were in
My house

Sounds like the perfect partner form my ds1 . Took him to Wagamama recently and almost wept with embarrassment at the state of the table after!

DD 3.2 is like this. I especially love clearing up after breakfast when she likes to pour her own cereal, milk and juice. Or even better smash up weetabix. 11mo DS makes less mess!
Oh and she eats spaghetti with her hands. Groan.

Ds1 is so messy that when we're out I base the amount of tip we leave the waiting staff, not on the level of service necessarily, but mainly on how much mess we leave. Even so, I still find myself ferreting about under the table, picking up as much mess as I can before we leave, it's THAT embarrassing. DD2 is being baby-led weaned and is already less messy than ds1.

Thank god we have wooden floors in our kitchen!

I often ask the waitress for a dustpan and brush in a restaurant my cheeks flame at the thought of some poor sod having to clean up the aftermath of DS1's pig trough-ing. No one ever lets me do it myself though!