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4 replies

lizzie57 · 14/08/2012 20:35

Hi, just wondered if anyone had any thoughts on this. My son has had no contact with his dad for 8months now. He refused to go for contact to the point where he was having panic attacks, really distressed, going into school upset on contact days etc and after months of trying to maintain the contact ordered by the court I finally stopped trying to make him go and since then he has been much more settled. He has now had a guardian appointed by the court and until she begins work the court has set aside dads application to have contact enforced and allowed written contact with my son to respond if he wishes. I know that at some point they are likely to want to try and establish some kind of direct contact and if this was what my son wanted I would have no problem but he is adamant he doesn't. What I would like to know is anyones experience of how the court/guardian might go about trying to rebuild a relationship with dad especially as he will not even recognise that there is a problem -just blames me or says he will not be dictated to by a child.

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WelshMaenad · 14/08/2012 23:13

Why exactly is your son so unwilling to spend time with his dad? Has he explained? How old is he?

lizzie57 · 15/08/2012 15:54

He is 10. There was a history of dv some of which he witnessed and he syas he is scared of his dad because he shouts, pulls him about, hits the wall when he is angry and has on several occasions 'smacked' him. Dad also criticises him for not being good enough, fast enough, better than his friends at sport so that now he is reluctant to take up any activity. He doesn't have a bed at dads any more because it has been turned into a pool room so feels like he doesn't belong or have anywhere of his own to go. Dad refuses to accept that there is any problem hence why we are at the point we are.

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LunarRose · 15/08/2012 16:00

was there any independent evidence of the DV?

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lizzie57 · 17/08/2012 20:51

No,only what I disclosed to Womens Aid a couple of months after leaving which is one reason I haven't raised it. My first solicitor advised me that it wasn't worth saying anything in court and now I think it's probably a bit late in the day.

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