How can I make DS more independent?

[sukiking]

DS will be 3 and a half in a couple of weeks and he is driving me INSANE. He?s showing zero signs of wanting to be independent. Trying to get him to do anything for himself is a battle that often ends in a tantrum. I?m not just talking about getting dressed. I?m talking about the stuff he used to enjoy. Like drawing and baking ? 2 of his biggest hobbies, he no longer wants to do it himself. I have to draw for him. When baking, I have to do all the egg breaking and mixing (which he used to love doing himself), whilst he looks on in delight. WTF?

Conversely, he?ll happily play on his own, making up all sorts of cool and creative games. He?s a very gentle chap (ballet over football, any day). And, uhrm, he?s an only child. Any words of wisdom out there... ie ? what?s going on and what should I do about it?

Don't do things for him that he can do himself.

But don't mistake dependence on wanting to have a relationship with you.

I'd bet tempted to take a big step bac from trying to make him independent and just trust he will want to in the next phase. If he has been independent, he can do it, he presumably wants your attention just now. Maybe if you give him what he wants for a bit he will then go forward and take on more himself. We have to do this sporadically with dss (9), its like he has a little rest. Two steps forward, one step back is still a whole step forward overall so try not to worry.

sigh bet be, bac back

Thanks ladies. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if it's a confidence issue. Perhaps I've 'criticised' him in the past (eg - a gentle, 'don't do it that way, try this way instead'). He's very sensitive about stuff like that. Anyone else get this problem... and knows a way out?