have you ever felt like stuff thats happened in the past has fucked your kids up?

[MySonIsMyWorld]

when my ds was 4 weeks old his daddy walked out, i was very emotional and upset and cried alot but still ALWAYS saw to my son.....daddy walked out 3 other times for a long period aswell things happened in this period, i was an emotional rollercoster and was not very stable but i did always always always look after my son. He is now smiley happy, beautiful little boy with no probs at all but i worry all the time that things that happened way before he was 1 could mess him up? Will he even remember?

They have done research on depressed mothers and their babies and they have found that when the mother recovers by the time the baby is one there are no long-term problems. Added to which it sounds like you have always put your baby first.
I don't think you should worry, just keep enjoying him now

Thank you. I hope so! I keep very smiley and happy all the time now - i dont think i was depressed just experiencing some horrible bits with my dp! Thank you xx

My mum had post natal depression with me and Im alright. . I sobbed for the first three months with my dd because she had colic, she screamed and I sobbed! My HV told me that regardless of everything else that goes on, the more cuddles a baby gets in the first 6 months of its life, the more emotionally secure it grows up to be. Well done on keeping it together for your son inspite of having a tough time yourself x

My XH left when dcs were 4 and 2 (just) it wasn't the easiest break up, I slagged him off within earshot, I was depressed for a good 6 months. Then I wised up and put them first (which it sounds like u have done all along)

My dcs are now 7 and 5 and pretty well rounded individuals . Your ds will be fine as long as you do your best for him!

thank you all xx

OP I have pm you.

MySon - IMO, shit happens. What helps kids deal with shit is plenty of demonstrative love. What helps them not deal with it is an emotionally absent mother...and it doesn't sound like you have been emotionally absent.

My kids have had to live with me suffering from depression for most of their lives. I've only just kicked it in the last few months, and I know that my kids are slightly fucked up (in your own words ;) ) because of it, but I can't beat myself up about it. The past is done and feeling guilty about it won't make it better - all it can do is make it worse.

The best thing any parent can do, IMO, is to accept what's happened and lovingly move on :)