Fed-to-sleep baby - what now?

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

Does anyone have any wisdom they can share, please?

DS (8mo) is due to start nursery soon and I want to help him get himself off to sleep withough BFing. At the moment, he needs feeding for daytime naps and in the evenings, but self-settles without a peep during the nights.

Although I'm sure there is a comfort element in it for him, it seems to be more the case that this is the only way he can keep still long enough to get sleepy and drop off.

I've started taking him off and laying him down while he's still sleepy, and that is working. However, we're still in the position of needing a feed in order to get him sleepy.

He will drink water from bottles, but refuses EBM and formula outright and can just survive all day on water if he has to. He doesn't find bottles at all relaxing. Cuddles and rocking don't work as he just struggles when tired. Am in the process of trying to sneak a dummy in but I'm not hopeful - either he spits them out because he's too awake and wants to carry on feeding, or he spits them out because he's ready to go to sleep. Clearly there's a milisecond window of opportunity at some point in the process and I haven't found it yet.

Helllllp. Thanks for reading, sorry about the length.

I'm un exactly the same position as you with my 9 month old who will be going to the child minder from September! I asked her about it and she said not to worry as she can get him out in the buggy or even out for a drive to get him to sleep if need be. I know lots of people who have said their babies managed to adapt to the new situation pretty easily when mum wasn't around

How many naps does he have during the day?

Does he perhaps have too much sleep and so is not as tired as he could be. My DD (10mo) wriggles a lot before her naps but eventually winds down and this seems to be part of the process. She is starting to drop her morning nap which will leave her with one 2 hour approx nap during the day.

I think that it will be something that will take a bit of practice.

In terms of the bottle DD would not take a bottle until about a month ago - she just did not seem to realise that it was another source of milk. Once she accepted a bottle there was no stopping her, it took a good few months of trying though.

Sorry can't be more help but well done on the self settling at night - we are nowhere near that yet.

Try not to worry, my DD is 15 months and still feeds to sleep, she has been at nursery for 3 months and sleeps there no problem in a buggy or on someone's knee, she also sleeps in her buggy when with my parents.

Children adapt very well and they do behave differently with different people. I would mention it to his key worker at nursery, I am sure she will have come across this before.

Thanks both,

20wk he does seem to be preparing to drop a nap at the moment, so sleep times are a bit variable. Maximum two naps per day though, and generally between 2-3 hours in total. We go by sleep cues rather than timings, and wake him if he naps for more than 1 1/2 hours at a stretch. Based on his behaviour and nighttime sleep, I don't think it's a case of him being over- or under-tired.

Sorry Saf, x-post.

If they're willing to take him out in a buggy then problem solved, as this does also work. I will ask about this - thanks!

I wouldn't worry about it - babies (and toddlers!) are so different with other people and they'll find their own way.

My twins started nursery at 12 months old. At that point they ate little and didn't drink anything other than breastfeeds. No bottles, no sippy cups, nothing would persuade them! They breastfed to sleep for naps and at bedtime.

At nursey, they took small amounts of water from a sippy cup and then tanked up from me at night. Gradually they drank more and more at nursery :)

At nursery they went to sleep on people's knees or in buggies. They have lots of buggies at my nursery and they'd rock them back and forth a bit in the garden or in the main room. My babies were knackered after a nursery day, but given the amount they were asleep at pick up times, I think that was from the excitement not lack of sleep!

They're 21 months now and still breastfeed to sleep and twice (ish) each in the night. Unless I'm not here, in which case my DH or mum can give cuddles and a sippy cup and they're fine :)

Try not to worry, your baby will work something out :)

This is so reassuring. I had been having nightmare visions of dropping off my tiny, completely unprepared PFB DS in the workhouse nursery and him waiting trustingly for me to come back and help him go off to sleep...

I will keep trying different tacks, but it's great to have the pressure off

I don't think my DD had ever napped without me feeding her to sleep by the time she started nursery at 13 months. It took her a couple of weeks but she got the hang of getting to sleep there - she sleeps in a buggy in the garden. This is the girl who never ever slept in a buggy that wasn't being pushed along the street.......

My dd1 was always fed to sleep but when she went to my friend's nanny she went to sleep without me.

I'm a (newish) childminder and last autumn I started looking after an 11 month old who had always been breastfed to sleep. It was hard getting him to nap without his mummy milk, but we managed with lots of rocking and singing. He was not impressed with his travel cot, but will still sleep happily in the buggy if he is tired enough. Some days he simply stays awake because he would rather be playing than sleeping. I am not prepared to let any child 'cry it out' so sometimes I do fail to get him sleeping and he then has a long nap at the breast as soon as he gets home in the late afternoon.

Children behave differently with different people. I wouldn't worry too much because the nursery staff will probably have lots of experience in dealing with this sleeping issue.