social services

[MySonIsMyWorld]

a few months ago social services got involved because of my DP
He picked me up and dropped me on my head i had to go to hospital thats why social services got involved (because ds was in bed asleep upstairs) social services quickly wrote it off and have no involvemnt what so ever with them now but its left me feeling like a shit mum, i feel awful that socail services had to come into my family - i am a really really fab mum i look after my son 100% but i just feel rubbish because of ss being involved because of my DP ..................has anyone else had any experiences of ss? When they sign it off and dissapear do they keep any open file on you? eg when ds starts school will it say that ss have been and talked to me and dp?

:(

Bless you, what a horrible experience

No, the case is closed, they won't talk to anyone about it and certainly not the school in several years time.

Don't give yourself a hard time, your ex was responsible for their involvement and not you xx

When you say dp, are you still with him?

thank you for being so positive towards me. yes i'm still with him at least untill i can save enough money to be stable when i leave. I'm only 20 now and i was 18 when i had my son and the happiest thing for me was when the midwife told me that she though there was no risk and therefor i didnt need extra help because of my age (most girls that age get extra help if midwife thinks the women is not mature enough) and then DP does that....... i feel like i spent the first 1 year of my sons life crying or upset because of what dp did x

How horrible for you!

I think the SS are obliged to inform the school about any visits (if DC is old enough to go to school), but if there was no foul play identified there's no reason why any issue would be made of it. No one's going to judge you because of an accident. There's plenty of perfectly normal families that have had one odd visit just to make sure everything's OK and the school will have had enough experience with the SS to recognise a proper issue if it pops up.

Thank god for that they said they were concerned because he was in the house and thats it - dp isnt a nice man and i really carnt wait to leave him if im honest

i think this is one time someone can take comfort in the fact SS are shit.
you will never be checked on ever again
there will probs be no record of it anywhere
if anything ever GOD FORBID did happen, they would pleed ignorance

Haha Thanks :)

If you ever have another baby you will have to declare the previous involvememt (though this doesnt mean they will get involved again, they didnt with me) and the file will always be on record. But it isnt something which will affect your life.

If SS thought you werent a great mum they wouldnt have closed the case. Please dont worry about it.

What plan have you in place for leaving your partner? There are lots of people on here who can give you practical advice and support if you need it!

Your DP picked you up and dropped you on your head?! Is he still violent towards you? Next time you have to go to hosp, SS will likely get involved again and consider that your child is at risk if you continue to live with a violent partner.

Dont worry im deffo leaving when i can. Social services said that when i have another baby i dont have to declare it? I think it was because there was no great risk??

My dp is a horrible horrible man. I see this now. But untill i have enough dosh to ensure i can home and feed my son im stuck x

Although SS probably won't bother you unless another incident occurs, it sounds like you don't have a high opinion of your DP. If you feel at risk there are places that can offer you support to leave him. Sorry if I'm rudely assuming that he's a danger but saying he's 'not nice' is a bit vague and concerning.

Ah, sorry. I misread up thread - i thought you said you couldn't leave, not that you couldn't wait to leave. Apologies. And good luck.

I'm so sorry you've had such an awful experience.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but if you feel like starting a thread in Relationships, I'm sure that there are some lovely people there who would be able to offer you ideas, support and advice on how to take the next steps to leaving.

I think i may just do that - i feel emotinally carnt spell battered at the moment so some support might just do the trick x

Good luck - I really hope you get a large dollop of fab MN support.

I used to work for the SS, and any time an 'incident' like this occurs, the Police are advised, and if there is a child in the home at the time of the incident, whether or not the Police plan to follow it up, SS have to. They have a week to respond/visit the family home and do an assessment, or have a good reason for not doing so.

In my experience, 6.5 times out of 10, the assessment is printed out, filed, and kept in a basement. Then destroyed after 8-years, or used to be, if no further incidents are reported.

The other 3.5 times, further action is required, which, more often than not, would have never reached SS notice. When they are involved, occasionally very good happen, but this is not always the case unfortunately, for a variety of reasons. Right now, many Social Workers state that their job is more ticking boxes than building relationships and using those to support in the mending of relationships.

If you feel you need to get out sooner rather than later, there is support and there are places you can go, some far better than others.

Thank you for your reply made me feel better x

I am a CP SW, all child protection information is passed on, on a need to know basis, this is written in law, so not open to interpretation.

This will not follow you around, what happens to the information, now,is that it is held on a database (if one is used) that only those working in CP (Family Support or SW's) has access to and this is very restricted.

Schools are only ever informed as the investigation has to involve a child's school, but even when that happens every staff member are not privy to any details.

I think the SS are obliged to inform the school about any visits

They would gether information from the school but only if a child was tobe subject to a 'plan' would the school be told, but again none of the details unless absolutely necessary.

Social services said that when i have another baby i dont have to declare it? I think it was because there was no great risk??

The incident won't be relevent to any subsequent children, so you do not have to disclose it to anyone.

If there is another incident they will offer you self esteem support and your DP, perpetrator work, or if wanted other interventions.

SS just want you and your children to be safe.

Have you been in touch with women's aid?

If you want to leave, do it. Seriously things can only get better.

Thank you birds made me feel much better. No i havent but i will be doing i think x

'The incident won't be relevent to any subsequent children, so you do not have to disclose it to anyone'

Unless you have another child with the same DP- this should add. In which case, it is very likely SS would become involved again becaue of the increased risk of domestic violence during pregnancy.

Mardy the social worker told me that i dont have to have social services involved if i have a child with the same dp so hopefully thats the case! x