hhmm,not going aswell as I thought

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Hi all first time mum,my ds is 6 weeks old.

I thought I was in a good routine,in bed by 12 been fed and changed although he is in his pjs and asleep by 9pm.After a feed,ds is breastfed,he has a sleep,he is like a little drunk when hes been fed,so cute all soft and floppy.........ok sorry didnt mean to get soppy,then we play,it goes abit like that,have a walk blah blah blah.

Yesterday I went to a breastfeeding group first time out,havnt got a day time routine at all.Listening to the other mums Im doing it all wrong,it should be play after a feed then sleep.Some of them were saying that her daughter sleeps through the night,her daughter is 4 weeks old.Then about how they wake the baby to feed if they miss the time slot and how they have full days going to lots of groups...............Im just about dressed by 11am.

seriously what am I playing at?? is it too late get in a routine,admitedly I would like my mornings back.Can I ask what your rountine looks like?.

If Im honest Im not sure how truthfull some of the other mums were,I noticed a few what I though were sly comments being said about people prams and apperances.Its not easy being a mum is it?

Does what you are doing work for you and your DS? If so ignore everyone else!

Bloody hell. Find a new group immediately. They sound mad. Most babies only get the difference between day and night at about 12 weeks. Some sort of daytime routine by 5 months.

And if a 4 week old is sleeping through it's more of a concern and they should consult their hv/gp about it tbh.

Babies that sleep through at 4 weeks are a rarity, and it often doesn't last.

Bear in mind that people are sometimes over optimistic and stretch the truth to make themselves look better.

It's not a competition

FWIW I consider myself a perfectly adequate mum, I wasn't dressed before 11 for their first year, unless I had a doctors appointment earlier than that.

I didn't go to my breastfeeding group with my first baby, because it was on 10am-12midday and I couldn't get ready in time. I went with the second because DD was in preschool so by then I had to be up in the mornings anyway.

Enjoy it, they are only tiny once and it will fly

What Dawn said, pretty much! If you and your baby are happy with the routine, then leave it as is.

If you want more of your mornings then you might need to put DS to bed earlier/change the pattern of night feeds but at 6 weeks I wouldn't stress. Hell, I found a sense of achievement if I was dressed by teatime when DD was 6 weeks old! :)

Years ago (I am old) I used to meet Mums that said their DCs were sleeping through. If asked they would say they only had to get up at (say) 10pm , 2am and 4am to feed and that yes they slept through. Different definitions of "sleeping" I thought.

This feed-play-sleep thing comes from the Baby Whisperer. I've never read it. It's OBVIOUS that lots of babies like whingeplay-feed-sleep.

my mum always says: "the bigger the front the bigger the back"

• remember this if you meet mums at a group who tell you the have perfected parenting withing 2 mins of meeting you, they are likely to be the ones falling apart at the seams the most!

Oh thanks ladies,I was amazed I got there as it was at 10am,I thought I need to be move active/adventures and get out more.

I do think we will be fine for a few more weeks then in the way we are going.

I did think that maybe some of them werent telling the truth and were out to make others feel like no so good about themselves,which I dont understand why someone would do this when its new for everyone,even if you have two children its still new with your next baby isnt it?? I think I will give going to groups a miss for a few more weeks too.

I wont enjoy being a mum if Im compairing myself to other mums who arent very nice will I?.You know what they say you live and learn.

I didn't make it out to any regular (morning) groups till DS was 11 months old. I didn't manage to get dressed much before midday till he was about 4 months.

They change so much at that age. DS was a dream baby till he was about 3 weeks old - slept longer than anyone else I knew. He then became the worst sleeper I know IRL and doesn't sleep 'through' yet at 2.7 years.

Ignore what others say they're doing (whether true or not), enjoy your baby and live in a way that suits you.

I'd avoid them, hey sound dreadful

Do what suits you! I always was up and about for morning groups, I've always loved mornings, but I slept in te afternoons. And I think sleepig through at 4 weeks isn't great - they should be feeding more than that I think?

If your routine suits the two of you it's great :)

I don't go anywhere before 10:30! My DD feeds at 7, asleep again usually by 8:30 when I then shower, dress, breakfast etc then 10 is next feed. Unless I want to get up at something stupid like 6am to get myself ready (which I don't!) there's no chance of an early morning outing!

rule one I think is don't compare. Some people like routine, a "normal" day, ie being dressed before, say, 9am others pretty much have their whole maternity leave as a babymoon, some are in-between. One thing I would say is that it is perfectly possible to have a shower and get dressed while baby is awake. Put them in a bouncy chair or the cot with some toys and don't dawdle - sing to them so they can hear you if they can't see you, but it means you can get yourself together and then go out, let them have that first nap in the car or pram if it suits you to do that.

I agree with everyone who has said just do it your own way. If it works for you and you have a contented little man how could you possibly be doing anything wrong?!

"Is it too late?"

Your baby is tiny. I know it doesn't feel like it but believe me they change so much so fast in such a short space of time.

If it works and you're happy, sod the books and routines that they may dictate.

I hate competitive new mum syndrome hence not bothering much with my NCT group.

I started a routine at 7 weeks because i like to have a routine myself. There are many different ways to go about routines mine is flexible and has changed as DS has changed also will change if i have something specific to do one day.

It usually goes wake about 6-7, play in bed for an hour together then back to sleep for a nap wake about 7-8ish then down stairs breakfast, DS plays while i get my breakfast and get the nappy bag ready the we go upstairs i get myself ready while he plays/watches a dvd/watches me then i dress him that usually takes about 1-1.5 hrs. Then the rest of the day i stick to eating 4 hours apart and sleeping every 2.5-3 hours (2 when he was younger the actual times vary day to day.

It works well for us DS is now very good at predicting what comes next i try to always do the same thing for example he knows when i put him in his buggy with is bottle it's time to sleep, when the high chair comes out it's time to eat. He is great at bed time can be laughing and wriggling away getting his bath and PJ's but once the light goes out and bottle goes in he just closes him eyes and feeds to sleep (he's learned the hard away he can cry/shout/kick/moan all he wants it's bedtime so he may as well sleep)

Remember a routine and a schedule are very different if you do want a routine it doesn't have to be ridgid and restricting though a routine does have it's restrictions.

My mum gave me invaluable advise which I passed onto my dd. Always follow your instincts mums really do always know what's best for their children and enjoy every minute with your gorgeous baby.

People who think babies need a play after a feed have probably read a certain book which advocates the routine EASY (eat, activity, sleep, you-time).

This seems ridiculous to me - nature is screaming at your baby to go to sleep after a feed, why fight it?!

I can't help feeling that if "easy" was actually spelled "ESAY" the book would be advocating that instead. It's about marketing, not what nature intends for our babies IMO.

Next time you get unwanted advice about how to raise your child, smile and nod. And ignore!

It sounds like you're doing a great job :)

There is NO template you can use - you do what works for you - shut your ears.

You are doing a great job. You don't need a routine at this stage and one will emerge sooner or later.

Take no heed :)