Anyone have a ^good^ first baby and scared to try for another?

[GnocchiNineDoors]

DD is what I would class as a good baby....sleeps and eats well, and always has; no colic, reflux etc.

I'm too scared to try for another incase DC2 is the polar opposite

Anyone else felt like this, is the second baby always very different to the first?

My DC1 was a very good baby too. Pregnant with no. 2 now. Very apprehensive about what to expect - no way I could be that lucky twice, surely. Am braced for the worst, but am sure I have no idea what is about to hit me.... Aaaargh!

I have had people say that their second was just as good as their first as well as people saying that no. 2 was a nightmare in comparison. Will watch this thread with interest!

I suppose it depends on your expectations of a baby. I would class my dts as good babies. They eat fab and sleep great it's the inbetween bits that can be hard going! Don't be scared of colic, reflux etc it's totally survivable and should not put you off having another baby. I like to call it a life experience! It's nothing more than that. I don't think dc's tend to be polar opposites though more likely you'll get another 'good' baby (slinks off and cries insanely with jealousy).

Yes I felt like this . Dd2 turns out to be even more of "good" baby then dd1

Yup.
Ds was a angel baby paying for it now though.

Its another reason why I can't decide if another is worth the risk. I don't know if I could cope.

Interesting thread. I can relate a lot to this but for the opposite reason! My DS1 was a grumpy, high needs, miseable baby who refused pushchair, carseat, screamed for no apparent reason and pretty much broke me for the first 18 months! I loved him but found him very very difficult to be around and I was walking on eggshells waiting for the next meltdown.

I was terrified of having another in case DC2 was similar. We waited and waited by which time my grumpy miserable DS1 had morphed into a funny, chatty, manageable little boy who filled me with more joy and happiness than I could have imagined. When he was 3.8 we decided to go for it and try for another since we'd both always wanted more than one.

Anyway, fell pregnant straight away and guess what??? DS2 is a frigging nightmare baby too . He's 7 months now. I do feel sort of robbed of the baby I dreamed of having but at least this time I know it's temporary. He is still my child and despite the challenging temprement he is displaying as a baby I know one day he will fill me with love and pride the way DS1 does....

My point is, regardless of the sort of baby you get, you will cope and it by no means indicates their behaviour as older children. Ask yourself honestly.. do you want another child? We did and the fact that he is difficult doesn't change that. He is our child regardless. We don't have children to get perfection or a clone of DC1 if thiat makes sense?

Yep ds1 was a dream as a baby, ds2 even easier. Toddler years though!

Should add that even though DS1 was a terribly difficult baby, he has never been a difficult toddler. He is and has been well mannered, gentle and just a joy to be around since he turned about 20 months. Hardly had a tantrum out of him so maybe he got all his anger out early or maybe he just seemed so good because he had been so impossible! Either way we survived it and he's fabulous.... just was a long journey getting there and sadly one which I am on again with DS2! Needless to say we won't be having a third any time soon .

Ermmm I am there now....... Dd now aged 9 was sleeping 11-7 from 7 weeks, then 7-7 from about 9, you'd feed her and she'd fall asleep on her own when you put her down, hardly ever cried etc.

Ds 8 weeks - omg. If he was my first I wouldn't have had any more. Seriouisly. He feeds every 2.5 hours all day and all night. He won't be put down for two seconds. He won't go out anywhere without waking up every two mins and crying (even in a massive comfy sil ver cross pram! Or a car seat - both ends of the spectrum!)

I've been up an hour with him now after getting up with him at 11, 1, 3 and then 5.30. He drinks full feeds all those imes AND he hardly sleeps during the day either!!! - so gina ford just doesn't work :) - he sleeps maybe 3 hours all day but not all in one go and it doesn't matter what you do rocking, swaddling, dark room, car, noises, etc, nothing.

The joy. I love him to bits but its lucky I had dd first!!!

I have the opposite. DD1 was colicky, fed every couple of hours and wanting to be held all the time (tbh I loved it!). DD2 now 9 mo this has always been the 'easier' baby. Sleeping for longer stretches and less demanding. They are different, but I love both to bits!

Apologies for smugness... I felt like this after DS who is a little angel. Turns out DD is too. DH thinks its down to good parenting it's just the luck of the draw and we've been very fortunate. Dreading the teenage years tho as I suspect it may come back to bite us on the arse!

DD was a very easy baby... apart from the lack of sleep. She just didn't. At all.

Dreading to find out what DC2 will be like.

Dd1 was a "good" baby - slept well very laid back and cheerful.

Everyone told me the second would be even easier, as it would just have to slot in with our existing routines etc etc

in fact number 2 was a bit of a nightmare Terrible sleeper, grumpy and demanding during the day. But so cute and with a lovely smile, and I have never ever regretted having a second. And in fact I still found it easier second time round in many ways, as I was a more confident parent and didn't have all the pfb stress and worries.

Now on my third, who so far seems pretty good. Hoping it continues...

Yes, I was scared to have another after having such a good sleeper and eater with a lively sunny temperament.

I now have another, and have scored two easy babies. Yes!!

Ooh sounds like luck of the draw. However, it also sounds from here

easy baby = difficult toddler
difficult baby = easy toddler

by this rule Im in for a very interesting next couple ofyears

Yy, me too- DD1 was a very easy, calm baby... And DD2 at 12wo is even calmer.

It's like baby roulette.

I must admit the thought of a second baby Like DD makes my blood run cold, and if second is like her no way on this earth will DH agree to a third.

DD is two. She has never slept longer than five hours, which she has done six times since birth. Usually wakes three to four times a night, she screams and shrieks constantly, runs off without so much as a by your leave. She eats relatively well but very opinionated on what she will or will not touch. She has recently started to hit and slap children that come to play and want her toys and the mess she can make in a nanosecond is quite frankly jaw dropping.
However nothing is quite so bad as the lack of sleep. She is also non verbal so you have to watch for her signing to prevent inevitable meltdowns.

Raising a two yr old is damn hard work, What really makes me laugh though is the way babies are labelled good or bad given how much they impact on our lives. Next time I will settle for healthy and a baby in my arms rather than in a coma for her first week of life. My sibling has a 'good' baby who sleeps 13hours every night since birth, never tantrumed, never refused food, always gone to anyone etc but has only recently at 18months developed her personality whereas I can genuinely say my DD has had a personality that shines through since the days she opened her eyes.

yes I was nervous and it did turn out that DC2 (DD) had colic when DS didn't, but other than avoiding any obvious mistakes you may have made with DC1, you just have to risk it if you want more than one DC!

dd1 was a pretty average baby - colic for 12 weeks, slept through at 6mo, reasonable temperament
dd2 was been tricker - colic again, really poor sleeper, very demanding temperament. But you manage. Second time round I think you have a better appreciation of the fact that the baby stage really is short in the grand scheme of things, that you don't have to respond straight away to every whimper, and you have the older one to distract you from it all.

Dd1 was great really. She's was a bit of a nightmare with milk but as soon as she was on rice/veg and fruit by 18 weeks had a great routine. She also slept through from 14 weeks.

Monsterous from 15 months until now though (2.4yrs). We seem to have compressed 2 years of toddlerdom into one and now have a lovely little girl.

Dd2. Hmmm. Never seems to sleep. Has severe silent reflux. Clingy.

Toddlerdom with her should be great right?? Maybe she'll even like the pushchair??

Yes, there are two fears. One - another baby might not be too easy. Two - onlookers will rush around shrieking about me being smug mummy of easy baby who's had their comeuppance now. The second is possibly the greater fear.

DS was a difficult baby. He's been a really easy toddler though (2.7 y.o. now), unless your definition of 'really easy' includes 'sleeps through the night'.

DD took to a routine, straight away, liked being swaddled, never needs (up til now, this could all change) rocking to sleep or sleeping on me etc. I don't trust it it's all an illusion to lure me in for another one.

DD was easy. Fed every four hours. Settled herself. Slept through from quite early on. Never cried. Never was sick.

Until she was 2.5 she never had tantrums. Definately paying for it now.

I just know DC2 (due nov) will be the opposite. I am bracing myself for constant crying and endless nights.

I really dont have enough luck for two good babies!

My view is that you should e joy the good bits, not assuming they will last and survive the bad bits, also assuming they will not last. I've had a straightforward baby who is tricky as a six year old, a gorgeous but non sleeping baby who (give or take) is gorgeous and cuddly and sleeps through anything as a three year old and a 13 month old who slept 10 hours a night from 6 weeks...until four months, but who is jolly, cuddly and funny in the daytime. Day at a time.

Easy easy easy baby. I remember dh and I saying that being a parent was soooooo much easier than we had imagined. DS just did not cry. He mumbled, but that was about it. Slept well, ate well, was a delight.

Then...

Toddlerdom. Absolute frickin nightmare. Tantrums after tantrums after whining after crying. Still sleeps wonderfully, but if I didn't have my sleep, I think I would have flung us both out the window by now.

Now pregnant was number two. I am almost hoping for a difficult baby, as I then hope for an easy toddler.

Trust me.... A difficult baby is an awful lot easier than a difficult toddler.