surely this can't be normal...but what do I DO?

[elliott]

OK, well I've bored you all with ds1's daytime wetting problems before. He is 4.3 and for the last 4 months or so we have had huge problems with daytime accidents - nearly every day. He wasn't late with potty training btw - out of nappies at 2.5 and whilst never totally reliable, this time last year he was fantastic compared with now - maybe one accident every few weeks. I certainly didn't have to worry about it constantly and carry spares around at all times like I do now
We are currently back on a simple star chart. OVer the last two weeks we've had only 2 stars for daytime dryness (but about 5 for night time dryness - he's still in a pullup btw), despite going back to fairly frequent prompting.
Today, for example, he was dry when I picked him up from nursery at 3.15 (cue much praise). I prompted him to go then; he went by himself at about 4 and 5pm; I prompted him to go before tea at 6pm; and by 6.45 he had wet pants
I'm at a complete loss. I know no-one's going to have any bright ideas but I just wanted to vent my frustration.

May sound odd - but how long has he been going to nursery?

have you been to see your GP?

sorry elliott, it sounds like you've posted aobut this before, but just to check, have the GP's run a test on his urine to rule out uti's?
it must be very frustrating for you

i agree with taking tests to rule out UTIs. my dd1 was beautifully toilet trained at 2 and then had a whole series of UTIs at 3 or so. It took us ages to work out that was what it was as we assumed she was just regressing from toilet training. I still feel really bad that we didn't pick the UTIs up more quickly, poor dd1 lost loads of confidence about it all.

Thanks for responding! dh took him to the docs last week, we should have a result from the sample next week. Other than that he just suggested seeing the HV, which I should try and do but it is hard to find the time - HV clinic is on a day we both work....
I have to say I will feel really bad if it does turn out he's had an infection....
YEs, it did all start not very long after he started this new nursery. But he does like it there, I'm pretty sure, but they don't have the same structured toileting that they did at his old nursery and I think he does find it difficult when left to his own devices. But he's equally bad on the days he isn't in nursery. And I still have to work out what to do about it....

My friend is going through the same with her dd who is in reception year. Having checks at gP because there is a bit of family history, but also she has started wearing school uniform trousers instead of skirts as she has finally confessed to finding managing her clothes in the toilet a bit difficult. But they don't really know what is going on - tbh, although it might not be 'normal', I wonder if it is more common than most of us realise but no one talks about it (friend has had no end of people tell her similar stories once she has told them about it)+

with us the signs which we should have noted were:

she was absolutely fine, no accidents, for the first 5 months after toilet training. confident, dry night and day. then she had a stomach bug for a week. and never really recovered.

we kept bribing/prompting/getting angry and she got quite upset about it. she's naturally keen to please. eventually we realised it was a UTI or series of them by taking tests. and it was such a relief really, to be able to deal with it properly.

thanks again. fennel, I have to say I have not rushed to the GP because I just didn't feel it was an infection. For one thing, they are quite uncommon in boys, and he just didn't seem to have any other symptoms. And he was never completely reliable either - so it was more a case of a slide into permanent bad patch rather than occasional bad patches iyswim. But otoh at it might be a relief if it DID turn out to be something concrete. Its just so frustrating not knowing how to get things back to how they were before.

thanks again. fennel, I have to say I have not rushed to the GP because I just didn't feel it was an infection. For one thing, they are quite uncommon in boys, and he just didn't seem to have any other symptoms. And he was never completely reliable either - so it was more a case of a slide into permanent bad patch rather than occasional bad patches iyswim. But otoh at it might be a relief if it DID turn out to be something concrete. Its just so frustrating not knowing how to get things back to how they were before.

Message for fennel - Only just read this thread, but some advice would really be appreciated. How long was it before you decided to see GP?? My DD is 3 and despite being fully potty trained at 2.2 has now completely regressed. For past 8 months we have been changing her 3-4 times a day. Tried charts/praise even bribes, nothing seems to work. Thanks in advance.

hi Fimbles. i can't really remember but it was quite a while. We have GPs in the family who we talked to though. But we were slow to see it as a physical UTI rather than a behaviour problem because dd was under 3 and I think everyone - GPs, health visitors, everyone really, just assumes at that age they're not properly toilet trained. We felt a bit like parents assuming their child can't be slow, other peoples' children are late toilet trainers, our dd has a UTI. If you see what I mean. So it was about 4-5 months maybe before we took her to the GP and got tests started.

but I do feel we should have realised because she had been so very competent for 5 months. another way we can tell since realising when she has a UTI is that she has several small accidents in a day, after being fine for ages. it sometimes happens still but we are on the case now, it's happened maybe once in the last year, she's nearly 6 now, and we get her tested and treated quickly now.

what we started doing when we realised it might be UTIs was get a few sample pots from the GP, take a sample and send it down to be tested. that's how they picked up on the UTIs and sent her off for scans etc eventually. you can do the samples quite easily.

Thanks fennel - Have booked appt at Doctors on Wednesday. Will let you know how we get on.

I have a 4 yr old boy who went dry at three and was fine for some time and then started pooing and weeing himself on a daily basis. Went straight to sticker chart mode which worked fantastically, but as soon as I stopped, he started again . What this proved to me though was that there was no medical reason for it as he COULD do it if he wanted to. I have talked to him about it and he says that he is having too much fun to go to the toilet/too busy playing.....The weeing is not so much of a problem as it does not happen often and usually is just a spot but the pooing is really frustrating (he will be standing outside the toilet when he does it for example). He will be playing and suddenly stop and stand there with his little bum quenched together and a look of concentration on his face and wait for the moment to pass . I have to send him to the loo and he argues with me but will eventually go. He seems to be unbothered by the mess. I am told that these things are very common in little boys and they can be prone to much laziness re going to the loo. I will not resign myself to this fate though so any suggestions from anyone would be useful.