Really not enjoying being a SAHM

[Cupcakemummy85]

I feel really guilty writing this but I am really not liking being at home with my daughter who is 13 months. Everyday I wake up dreading the day ahead, thinking what obsitcle will I have to overcome today, what will she cry about next, that kind of thing. I thought staying at home was for me but I can honestly say it isn't. It's just too hard. I decided to try for another when my daughter was in the easy phase and now I'm pregnant again. The only problem is I can't put her in nursery as I can't afford it, can't get a job as I'm pregnant so I'm stuck at home. I'm so unhappy and my husband doesn't understand, he just says we chose to have children so I have to get on with it. I love my daughter I really do my I feel like this is damaging our relationship. She doesn't seem happy at home at all and neither am I!

Sorry to hear that! The days can be so long when you are on ur todd with them, have u tried going out to groups etc to break the day up?

Do you literally just stay at home? All day, every day?

do you have friends with children? do you get out and about with her?

do you enjoy anything at all about being a stay at home mum?

i try not to be a diagnosing people on the internet on the basis of one post type of a person, but do you think it's possible you have some kind of anxiety/depression? I don't think it's "normal" (whatever that is) to be dreading the day and thinking up obstacles to overcome and worrying about what she'll cry about..

I dint mean a lutrealky stay at home everyday lol. I do try go out to different places, toddler groups, walks, grandparents, but I find everything so stressful. She just doesn't seem happy with me at all. Toddler groups are ok she enjoys it which makes me think she'd really enjoy nursery but as for the mothers of course they love being a SAHM and couldn't imagine going back to work which makes me sick with guilt. I feel guilty when I leave her with anyone even if it's for five minutes but taking care of her 24/7 it's all getting a bit much

I found it incredibly hard being at home all day with the children initially. There is no doubt that it is even harder when you are pregnant and exhausted. I think that you have to be very organised. I started to arrange my diary in the same sort of way that I did when I was working - schedule regular meetings / coffees / playdates / trips to playgroups etc. The most demoralising thing is seeing the endless day stretching out ahead of you with nothing to fill it. See as many people as you can. I didn't have that many friends with children initially, and found that I had to bite the bullet and phone people I didn't know that well, or ask people I had recently met at playgroups etc to come over for a coffee (which seemed a bit embarrassing and desperate at the time), but chances are most are as keen as you to get out and meet with others, have some adult chat etc and certainly it worked for me and I found that once I had made a start I seemed to meet lots of people and even those I wouldn't normally have much in common with were a relief to be with for a chat and a coffee. Everything got much much easier when I started to be a lot more proactive about my days.

I'm not a SAHM, I work part time, but my DD is also 13 mo so I can understand a bit of what you're saying! I think I'd go a bit stir crazy if I were with her all the time. I also find that DD is at a really in-between stage where she has loads of energy, but can't really do very much in the way of activities. She hates to stay in her buggy unless there are exciting things to see, but can't walk far by herself yet. We spend a lot of time in the park with a ball!

First, you say you look after your DD 24/7, does your DH do anything with her? My DH has set times that I have 'off' to do my own thing (as well as looking after her other times too, just that set times work for us because we both know the schedule).

And I have to find projects to entertain myself with, that I can fit around DD, as I need to feel like I'm achieving something other than just looking after a young child :)

Do you think maybe writing up a events diary would help, s you cou pan ahead for the week and that way your day could be mor "bite sized" and manageable and perhaps you won't feel so overwhelmed? For example :

Monday
Am
Breakfast
Get dd dressed
Song time at library
Lunch
Nap
Music time at home or park if sunny
Dinner
Bedtime routine
Bed

If you I'd tht for everyday do you think it might help you feel less overwhelmed?

Sory if it's rubbish advice and good luck.

ok that's good.
it IS wearing looking after a child/children 24/7.
Do you get a break ever? is her dad involved? does he care for her in the evenings when he gets in from work?
can you leave her with your parents or a good friend one morning a week or something?

I am sure she is very happy at home with you, but if you are feeling anxious and unhappy then she will pick up on that.

do you have friends with children the same age that you can get together with and have a good old moan from time to time?