'Lifting' at night: Ok, so we should never have started, but how do we stop?

[Matonic]

At 3.9, ds announced he no longer needed any kind of nappy at night. There would be no wees in the night and if there were, he would do them in his potty.
Well, ds may have thought he was ready to go through the night dry, but he wasn't, and, many washing cycles later, I succumbed to the advice of dp, my mother, my m-i-l et al, and began lifting him at night.
And this is where we are, five months later. One of us has be awake between 11.00pm and midnight to lift him in his sleep to use the potty - trial and error has taught us that this is the timeframe that can guarantee a dry night.
If staying dry through the night is a muscle thing that develops, or hormonal thing that kicks in (I don't know what it is but I'm sure someone here will), the ds doesn't have it and I can't see how this night-time lifting will help him develop it.
So how do we stop? Do we go cold turkey and endure a lot of wet beds again? TBH, I'd put him back in pull-ups like a shot but ds point-blank refuses to countenance them and gets terribly upset at the very idea (he thinks he's dry at night, after all).

god tlel him he can have Mickey pants a dn gett he Mickey mouse of hulk pull ups

Staying dry through the night is a hormonal thing that kicks in ... dd is almost 5 and still doesn't have it. Someone recommended lifting to me too, but it strikes me that all you're doing is training them to wee in their sleep, not to have any control over their bladder.

How does ds feel about having wet beds? Going back to having wet sheets again might be enough to make him decide he would prefer to have a pull-up on. Or maybe he would be happy to try Pyjama Pants - if you sell them to him as special big-boy night-time pants?

Or put the pants on him at 10.30ish and see what happens.

MAtonic we have just started this dd insists she can go without a nappy
she refused to wee on lifting at 11pm, was awake at 4am with her cough so I took her again - nothing, and she had weed at 7.30ams
So I'm giving her 5 days to shape up or shes back in nappies!
I think it is something that kicks in brain wise, it can take ages or happen quickly.
Try and see I guess, otherise mgith a pair of cloth trainer knickers help?

Go back thru the potty training idea and stop fluids at teatime and make sure he does a wee before bed.

Put him to bed as normal and then at 10.30 put the pullup pants on him. He wont wake up.

We have tried the 'big-boy pants' - I think they had Buzz Lightyear on them. They don't fool ds who can see they are a nappy going under another name.
WWB - I completely agree about the lifting not teaching him anything. It seems pointless to me.
I have thought about surreptitiously putting pull-ups on him once he's asleep, but he would only pull them off during the night.
I think we will have to stop the lifting and see what happens. He doesn't like the wet beds at all, makes up all sorts of elaborate excuses (he's even tried to blame the cat) ... but I don't see that having a wet bed will stimulate this hormonal reaction that we're after.

I don't think it would stimulate the hormonal reaction, I just wondered if it would prompt him to be more receptive to the idea of having pull-ups on again. My dd asked to try once, had two dry nights then a week of wet beds and was so distraught that she was very happy to go back to nappies again.

God i have been haveing the same problems with my 3.8 year old. He won't wear any kind of nappy pullup or pjpants and even if i try to lift him it is no use. I have to wait till he is asleep to put a nappy on him and thats got to be on befor 9 or we have a wet bed which he would sleep in all night.

I posted with exactly the same problem when my dd was about 4 and got no replies. We just carried on lifting (or in my case getting her to walk to the loo as I couldn't lift) when we went to bed ourselves.

After reading your post it took me ages to remember when or how we decided to stop. It was when we heard her get up in the night to go to the loo. We realised she was 'mature' enough to wake up when she needed to go, so we stopped lifting.

We still get a wet bed about once every three months when she's tired or has a cold, and she's 7 now. She's just a late developer in that department. Got a brilliant waterproof mattress cover from John Lewis that you can wash at 90C so it doesn't worry me any more.

I still put both my dds on the loo at night (dd1 is nearly 6). I have no idea if she'd go through the night or not, because I've never tried. But it's so little hassle to just put her on the loo when I go to bed, then I intend to keep on doing it until she asks me not to. It's really not such a big deal. OTOH, I do make sure that both dds (dd2 is just 4) wake up (even if only momentarily) when I put them on the loo, so that they are aware that they have been. I'm fairly certain that I won't still be doing it when they're off to university, so if I have to do it for a few more years now when they're tiny... well, I can live with that! (Mind you, might feel differently if we were still in our old house, which only had a downstairs bathroom!!)

I still put both my dds on the loo at night (dd1 is nearly 6). I have no idea if she'd go through the night or not, because I've never tried. But it's so little hassle to just put her on the loo when I go to bed, then I intend to keep on doing it until she asks me not to. It's really not such a big deal. OTOH, I do make sure that both dds (dd2 is just 4) wake up (even if only momentarily) when I put them on the loo, so that they are aware that they have been. I'm fairly certain that I won't still be doing it when they're off to university, so if I have to do it for a few more years now when they're tiny... well, I can live with that! (Mind you, might feel differently if we were still in our old house, which only had a downstairs bathroom!!)

Sorry for double posting.

Thanks for all the suggestions - I've just been showing the responses to dp. Using a lot of the advice here, I think we've come up with 1) ensure ds has a big drink last thing at nursery, because then we can withhold fluid once he's home with a clear conscience, 2) continue with lifting, 3) look for cloth trainer knickers (what exactly are these? - sorry to sound so dim), 4) stop worrying too much about it.

Have a look at lollipop childrens products- they sell trainers you can use with a disposable pad- far more reliable than most. Also look up your local disability aids shop and ask for a "kylie", I have ones that hold 2 litres. I put it on top of the sheet. It means if your child wets at night you can wip them out and put a fresh one on. Wash easily as well. We also have waterproof sheets underneat (kylies are ovely and comfortable so no worried about the waterproof bit)

\link{http://www.blushingbuyer.co.uk/acatalog/Kylie_Incontinence_Range.html\kylie bed sheets}

Result here!
No drinks after 4.30
Wee before bed
No lifting or waking
Dry at 7am!

I'm not at that stage with mine yet, but I have seen cloth trainer pants on sites like www.kittykins.com and babykind and cumfybumfy . nappies by minki do yoyos which you can pick up on Ebay.
HTH

btw just to add, the lifting not only won't help, it will hiner because what you are essentially doing is encouraging him to pee in his sleep
so whatever you do, don't do that

With DS we put a potty by the bed which he was allowed to use in the night time. Then when we got fed up with having to empty that we got him a torch so that he could get up and go to the loo. He very rarely does. At one point he would go at 10 to 7 (he's not allowed to get up before 7) nearly every day but now we have to send him to the loo before breakfast. He is just 5 and I would say that he has the strongest bladder in the family.

We do lift him on rare occasions such as if we have had a curry and because of the spicy food he has drunk much more than normal.

I always swore I wouldn't do this with my kids. As most people have said I thought all it was teaching them was how to wee in their sleep. Ds1 and dd were dry by 3.

Then came ds2, who, on reaching 3.5 suddenly decided he wasn't wearing nappies at night anymore! He wet the bed solidly for 14 nights and didn't even wake up when he had done it.

So we took him every night before we went to bed (could have been anytime between 9 and 11) and then he would go through dry. Summer (incase of more wet sheets!) of 2004 whe he was due to turn 5 we stopped getting him up and haven't had a wet bed since.

So, I would say if he really dislikes pull ups carry on lifting him and every couple of months leave him and see if he can stay dry through the night.

We lift our ds (almost 4). He has a lovely big drink of bedtime milk so always does a big wee. He is beginning to protest naturally at being lifted as he doesn't like being woken up. But as he's so warm and sweet and cuddly and nothing like his argumentative little daytime self it doesn't bother me at all to lift him. He will be dry soon enough - in his own time.

Hi - we used lifting in desparation with our 4.5 year old - lifting her once before we went to bed. It meant no more nappies or sheet washing which was great. We did it for a few months (using a small washable waterproof pad for her to lie on in case there were accidents) and then just stopped lifting her after a while. She had a few more accidents but seemed to get it then.
Good luck - I'm sure it will happen soon if its only one wee at the moment!
Helen