Being verbally threatened by another parent

[Jules2]

I'm not sure what category this comes under - but my husband and I have been threatened via email by the parent of one of our daughter's 'friends' at school. Both girls are due to start Yr 3 in Sept. There is of course a bit of history which involves accusations of bullying on both sides. From our point of view and from what I've personally witnessed of the other girl's recent behaviour - it comes down to a case of children falling out and 'ganging up' on each other. Unfortunately, my daughter has been the recent victim of what I'd call 'emotional bullying' by a small gang of girls and one boy but I know she has played her part in whatever may have started it. I'm not naive or blind to her faults and we have talked together with her teacher about bossiness, expecting peers to always follow your lead. As her school claimed to have dealt with the problem back in June (they hadn't) and have never informed us about anything since, I talked to most of the parents of the children involved who were all unaware of anything going on. The children are friendly again and we have the summer holidays to restore good grace.
However, one father - claiming to have 'JUST heard that his daughter and other children have been bullied by mine for some time' (? from a 3rd party), has sent us a vicious email, with the parting words - 'The time for talking is over' (he has never been in touch with us to talk about the matter) - 'Keep your daughter away from mine or [their] will be trouble, not at school but on your doorstep..!!'
Neither child has done anything seriously wrong - some falling out and some lying on both sides. We - of course - are not removing our daughter from the school any time soon. And I wouldn't expect this man to remove his daughter either. Hence, they will be spending every day together.
We are mulling over what best to do about this. Clearly, a parent cannot be allowed to 'bully' another/others in this fashion and I wonder if this man and his wife (with whom in the past we have been friendly) have any idea of the seriousness of what he has implied. My husband says he is just have a 'stupid rant' - indeed, he does have a reputation for being all 'say' and no 'do' but I find it upsetting and threatening.
I do not want to start Yr 3 with this hanging in the air. Should we talk to the junior school's head before term starts and show her the email? Should we call a meeting with this parent and the school?
What would others advise us to do? Has anyone else been in a similar position?

This sounds totally unreasonable from an adult parent! I would raise this up at school as this is totally inappropriate. No wonder his DD is a bully with that kind of 'role-model' to look up to!

oh my jules I do feel for you. I had a similar problem but the mum called me and shouted abuse at me I called the teacher first thing in the morning and in my case my son was completely innocent and was accused of being a bully I think the other parent felt VERY foolish when she found out that actually it was her daughter lying all along! I would speak to the school as soon as possible as you really don't want an uncomfortable school run every morning, also as you said it is VERY hard for the children to keep there distance when they are in the same class.

Hope this helps.

It's certainly a threat and I'd be reporting It to the Police and insisting they have a word with him. Do you know who your community officer is? it'll be on their website, report it to him.

I would have a word with the police tbh. Not for girls falling out, but for his final sentence.

The man sounds like a complete prat tbh! Why would he put something incriminating on email for goodness sake?!

I would email back and say as far as you are concerned the issues have been resolved by the parents and the school. I would reassure him that you have spoken to your daughter about any part she has played and say you hope everything will be fine with the kids in September at school.

I would also add that if there are any issues in the future you would appreciate it if he could give you a call and you can then deal with it there and then.

If he then threatens you again, I would definitely be contacting the school about the dads behaviour, as you will have done everything you possibly can to defuse the situation.

It sounds as though he is just mouthing off, so I would be assertive but polite with him and be honest. If he's the type I think he is then he will probably back down and be fine.

Very hard to give advice though without personally knowing the people involved so I hope I'm not way off the mark!

....and I would inform the school, obv.

Will you forward the email to the head and governors? I think I would.

But don't approach the parent under any circs, he sounds unhinged.

I think personally there is only one thing to do. I would show the head teacher at the school and suggest a meeting with you all together & his wife too. I can only imagine he will be mortally embarrassed when this letter is read aloud in front of everybody.

P.S. What an asshole.

I totally agree with Babalou

Show the head and request a meeting.

Thanks for all your supportive and helpful comments. I think you're right - we need to request a meeting with the head teacher and this man and his wife - if possible before the new term starts. We would show the email to the head anyway along with the background to the situation.
If he refuses to come to a meeting then maybe it will be necessary to get the governors involved.
I just want the situation resolved before the autumn term gets under way. I can put up with dirty looks across the playground but I won't put up with feeling threatened - or especially that my daughter will have to suffer an unpleasant start to Yr 3.