Co-sleeping - What are the current guidelines?

[anchovies]

Gave birth by caesarean last Friday and during my first night in hospital was really sruggling with breastfeeding. The midwife "looking after" me that night was a total cow and huffed and puffed when I wouldn't let her take ds to the nursery or give him a bottle (he was big and very hungry)

Problem was that I couldn't stay awake and they were getting really annoyed with keep getting him out and putting him back for me so in the end I asked if they could tuck the sheet under the mattress on one side for me so I didn't have to worry if I fell asleep. The midwife said it was not the hospitals policy to permit co-sleeping, took ds off me and put him back in the cot and left. He was still crying for a feed so was this woman just a total bitch or is this fair enough? Last time I was in (2 years ago having ds1) they suggested I do this so we could have lots of skin to skin contact.

(By the way I eventually made it through the night, not after the cow refused to lie my bed back down because she was busy, she left me sat bolt upright 6 hours after a section for 45 minutes and then forgot to bring me painkillers despite me buzzing her 3 times...I am so complaining about her!)

all hospitals have this policy. they are liable if the baby falls out of bed, or anything else happens to it for that matter while you're in their care.

Sounds awful experience. I didnt co-sleep in hospital and no nursery for babies to go to but lady beside me had her dd beside her in bed the whole time (night and day). A few midwives explained to her the dangers and gave her a leaflet outlining the safe way to co-sleep and left the decision to her but never saw or heard midwives demanding she put baby in cot.

Mine had posters up last time promoting co-sleeping, and gave out leaflets saying the best way to go about it. DD was always in with me and no-one batted an eyelid. Homebirth this time, and again, given leaflets about the benefits of co-sleeping and the right way to go about it.

No c-section experience though, so it could be different.

When I had DS2, the hospital had cots that attached to the side of the bed, like little perspex aquariums, hanging down. So I used one of those.

Cute idea, not really very useful, though, as after a section, I couldn't exactly bend down to fetch the baby.

Attitudes about co-sleeping vary. I don't think it's dangerous at all, as long as there are no reasons to be concerned about cot death (baby not preemie, nobody smoking in house, etc etc). You need a firm bed, you shouldn't be drugged or drunk.

I certainly wouldn't have survived early babyhood of either DS without cosleeping.

I believe that the guidelines changed a few months ago, to say that co-sleeping - even on the settee - s now not advised. Sorry. I saw TV interviews recently with the cot death foundation people, who had changed their guidelines following new research.

I was not allowed to bedshare with ds1 six years ago in hospital. I was allowed to do so with ds2 three years ago, and found it sooo much easier. We have always coslept at home, but as I say, the cotdeath foundation spokesperson was sympathetic, but unequivocal in believing that it is now more risky to co-sleep; she advised having a cot by the bed, with a drop side at bed height, so that baby can be easily slipped in and out.

By the way, your midwife sounds awful (I think she may have been mine from 6 years ago!) Check to see whether your hospital has a human milk bank too, as ours did, but I only found out by chance. The midwives on the ward were only too quick to offer formula, rather than support for breastfeeding.

anchovies, if you are feeling you'd like to cosleep, there's a book i read called '3 in a bed' which totally convinced me. It has all about doing it safely too and precautions to take.

Lovely poerson that Midwife sounds, proper Mary Poppins

Cosleeping on a sofa has never been recommended! Babies can get dropped or smothered.

I slept with ds in hospital bed after c-section. more practical and harmonious "especially" after a section. That woman anchovies sounded terrible and you might think to point out her insensitive attitude to the hospital. They need to learn one way or other.

We co-sleep at home and it is going really well :)

There was some very recent research saying that co-sleeping anywhere, sofa or bed, does give higher rates of SIDS (than what? I guess sleeping in a defined baby-only space?) It was widely reported and I think has led to a change of advice but I didn't read the original research - no idea if it's only one study etc. It postdates Three in a Bed.

I wasn't suggesting the book as research advice, just alot of reasons for that you don't usually hear about.
I found it fascinating that some cultures think we in the West are really wierd for putting babies in cots in the first place. I read it after i kid of 'fell into' co-sleeping with dd2.

I'd agree Angeliz, I loved Three in a Bed and really wanted to co-sleep. However, I do think that we in the West are quite likely to have more soft covers/furnishings on our beds than some (not all) cultures who routinely co-sleep, could that make a difference?

I bet the difference in the statistics is small though.

haven't read all this thread, but huge sympathies to you

just to add, the worst bit of a C section is the being at the mercy of post natal staff like her.

I seem to remember I co slept on the ward with ds1, can't remember ds2, was off my tits with drugs and mentalness.

Are you in North London by any chance

Yes i suppose it could, tbh, dd2 and i sleeping together doesn't seem to be working anymore that good as none of us seems to be getting quality sleep. She tosses and turns too much (she's just gone 1) so i think the cot may be used in her sisters room but i can't quite make the break!!

I've been co-sleeping with ds for his first 3 weeks. I'm just about to turf him out because no matter how far away I place him he managed to come snuffling up to my boob. At one point I fell asleep with him on me, I was sooo tired and he was still there two hours later when I woke up!!!

DD1 coslept for 9 months then went into a cot for part of the night, fully went into a cot in her own room at 15 mo (no problems). We were fed up of being punched and kicked in the night.

DD2 is 6 weeks and we are cosleeping despite having a bedside cot. Often wake to find her nestled into my boobs, she's a big healthy girl and I love cosleeping don't feel she is in any danger.

Anchovies - your MW was a cow IMHO I remember you asking about MWs giving formula as well. Sorry you had such a hard time of it, try not to dwell on it and make the most of your new darling baby.

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There is a danger that mothers who have had pain killing drugs following caesarean section may roll onto their baby unless supervised. The stance taken really is that babies can be in bed while feeding, with bed guard rail inplace, but put back into cot afterwards. It is a difficult situation where a baby needs lots of skin contact. There is a risk if there are no 'cot sides' or bed guards that the baby could fall onto the floor.

Midwife was probably following policy but could have been nicer about it.

\link{http://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/mailing/updates/research_update_20060119.htm\try here}

The constant, to-and-fro debate about this really annoys me. There is nothing more natural than sleeping with your baby! Smothering is an entirely different issue to cot death; take your usual precautions (ie don't get stoned, don't let a 58 tog duvet go over your baby's face) and you're fine.

I read a lot on this subject when I was pg because ex's family has a history of cot death - three in two generations, two of those in the same family. In cultures where co-sleeping is the done thing, it is often the case that cot death is unheard of. This includes First World cultures eg Japan, they have no word or term for 'cot death' because as far as they are concerned, there is no such thing.

My ds is 2.5 yrs and we still co-sleep. When he was tiny we had a double bed, he was in a gro-bag on top of the duvet on one side of the bed while I was under the duvet on the other. Once he was big enough to move himself around, he just came under the duvet with me.

All I would say is don't smoke and keep the bedroom on the cool side, eighteen degrees c is the upper end of the optimum temperature range.

As for hospitals; I think a lot of the time they are considering accidents such as falling out of bed and any ensuing compensation claims or complaints. When I had ds it was policy that new mums weren't allowed to even CARRY their babies around the ward, in case they dropped them. We were supposed to just push them in their little plastic tanks. This didn't seem to be rigidly enforced, however.

Tamz77, the policy of not being allowed to carry babies could be to avoid someone coming onto a ward and walking off with a baby which was not their own. Hence the requirement of pushing babies in their tanks. At least that was how it was explained to me!

I was a naive first time mum. I thought that the tank was for me to put baby in, which I dutifully did, despite dd being unsettled in it. By the time dd was checked into hospital for surgery at 4 months, she was given a cot next to my bed (mothers are allowed to stay in). I took her into my narrow bed. The nurses were very understanding and encouraged it, saying it was very comforting for little ones in such stressful circumstances. But that was a children's hospital rather than a post-delivery ward.

What a difficult time for you anchovies - sorry you've been through this.

I co-sleep with my ds4 - did with my other kids as well. Helped me to bf & get some rest. Good luck with this xxx