Aaarrgghh my ds's behaviour at the moment......

[Curlybrunette]

Hi all,

DS2 is 4.9 and I'm trying to convince myself he's just going through an annoying phase that will end soon but it's really getting me down.

He has always been feisty, in that he would stand up for himself if another child pushed him or something, but just recently I?m having to helicopter him when we?re out as I know he?s going to end up in an argument with someone. It?s like he wants to play with everyone but if one little detail doesn?t go as he wants he?ll either collapse to the floor in floods of hysteria or will push or hit the other child. The same is happening if someone accidently pushes him, as they run past etc. He is so emotional but he hasn?t been like this, only for the last couple of months.

I?ve wondered if it?s because he?s ready for school and needs more stimulation, he?s nearly 5 and is quite bright. I?ve never had any complaints from his nursery or preschool about his behaviour, it has just been with me recently, but after he hit 2 different children (he was severely told off) at soft play yesterday, and today I found him spitting ? on the ground not at anyone, but still he knows that spitting is dirty ? and he threw his teddy bear at me because he decided I was naughty (I really hadn?t been!) I am just feeling really annoyed with him tbh.

He has always been a really lovely boy, that I?ve enjoyed spending time with but I?m feeling nervous taking him out at the moment, as I can?t relax, am having to watch him all the time. And as for the random bouts of tears, he collapses on the floor wailing and it does my head in. I?ve never been great with strops.

Sorry this is long, just feel like my son?s turning into a terror, and he starts school in 4 weeks. OMG I?m scared?

Hi both of my older ones went through this in the summer holidays before they started school. I really think that its their way of showing a little bit of fear of the unknown. Even though they were at nursery at the school they still seem to realise things are changing and it comes out in this sort of behaviour. Within days of starting they were much better just when the unknown was known :)

Thank you that does reassure me! I did think he needed school but was also worried he was turning into a devil child.

He's always been such good company but at the moment I'm worried about taking him out in public

I can sympathise with this.

My DS just turned 4 last week. He is very big for his age. Like most boys what he might lack in areas such as language and writing he more then makes up for in other areas - his memory is ridiculous!

He has always been good - 'spirited' but good. I am not a naive mum and I know he's not perfect - what child is!?

However about 2 months ago he started playing up which is totally out of character. He stopped listening to the staff at the nursery, stopped doing as he was told and as you said - even the tiniest thing set him off into a major hissy fit with him throwing himself on the floor crying. Mortifying in public

All I could think is that I am a terrible mum & that I have raised a little shit!

After a few weeks he hadn't snapped out of it so me & DH had a sit down and 're-aligned' the boundaries. As I'm sure you know when parenting sometimes the punishments waver 'I'm counting to 3' 'no TV' etc.

What we did - I got 2 extra large pieces of paper from a craft shop and made 2 pages - sounds cheesy I know. I drew a 'Good' page and a 'Bad' page.

They had funny colourful illustrations on them - some I drew, some I found on Google and printed in colour and stuck on. They bad had pics of spitting, shouting, hitting, smacking, angry faces, messing around at dinner table etc and was quote a glum looking page. The good had cuddles, happy faces, tidying up, children playing and then a few rewards like sweets, games etc. This was a fun and colourful page.

I wanted to illustrate to him the difference between good and bad behaviour in a way he could understand. Kids are so used to hearing 'no' all the time it loses meaning.

Me & DH sat him down and very gently spoke to him about his behaviour. We showed him the drawings and went through them together. We explained that when he did something wrong he would get 1 warning. If he did it again he would have a 3 minute time out. We finished the conversation with cuddles and straight onto something positive - a trip to the park.

It is now 2 months later. He is 90% better than he was. We have been firm with our discipline - no 2nd or 3rd chances before time out etc.

I hope this helps. It might be worth a try. x

Thanks bubalou, what a great idea. If the posters are visual with pictures of the good and bad behaviours I guess they can understand it more than being talked to by us.

I'll give it a go, though I had a good talk with him on Wednesday morning about being a good boy, and being kind to others and how people wouldn't want to be his friend if he was mean also I bought some milky bar yogurts and said he could have one after tea if he'd been good all day he's thankfully been much better yesterday and today. Only 2 days but after the horribleness of recently this is a relief!

Hope things continue to improve with your ds bubalou
x

Sorry Curly only just saw this reply.

Hope things are going well with your DS.