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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Don't know what to do tomorrow

48 replies

JustFabulous · 07/08/2012 20:26

I took the kids to the park this morning and we also walked around the massive lake so we were out a while. Since lunch they have been vile. Cheeky, rude, disobedient and total PITA.

Do I keep them in tomorrow, boring day, or do I take them out and hope for a better day?

They had me up before 6 so I am knackered but they have been pretty vile for ages tbh.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lljkk · 08/08/2012 18:38

We are keen cyclists & taking more than one DC out on a ride is still my idea of HELL.
I wish I knew how this exhausted thing worked. Mine just get hysterical & irrational if they're tired. They certainly don't go calm & docile. .

One day at a time, JustFab. And a few glasses of if it keeps you sane.

SecrectFarleysNibbler · 08/08/2012 22:18

Have you heard of Geocaching?? Google it if not. Worldwide treasure hunt -

PissyDust · 08/08/2012 22:28

My 3 are 10 8 & 4, we all go swimming and 10 yr old is now allowed to go swimming with a friend.

Can they not go out and play around the block or local park? My eldest 2 went out nearly all day to day with my mobile phone for contact.

Mine still fight mind you but we manage to have days at a time when we stay in and they just play out.

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Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 07:41

There is no park near enough to let them go alone. I have lots of plans today though most of the day we are going to be in. They may get bored but they have to learn it is not all about them and after 2 days of going to the park for hours and they still weren't happy, a day at home might focus their minds. I am planning on getting a box of Knex down from the loft that they haven't played with for a while.

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Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 07:45

The geocaching looks interesting. I will have to read it properly to understand what to do .

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BellaVita · 09/08/2012 07:53

Do the 11 and 9 year old not have any friends to go out and play with? Go swimming or go to the cinema with? Tbh I think you are trying too hard.

They should not need entertaining 24/7 and they are certainly old enough not to have YOU up at 6.00am.

Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 08:02

Unfortunately we had to move the children from school and haven't got anybody local or we are close enough to send the kids too. I am too about my house to have anyone round. I have found it very hard to make friends and those I had dropped me as soon as I got ill. I have failed there as well as it means my children haven't got friends either.

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BellaVita · 09/08/2012 08:10

Well that's something you could do for a start off then... Big team building exercise - all pitch in and have a good old tidy/spruce up/painting session or whatever needs doing.

Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 08:36

They would want paying but I will get them involved. We are nipping to the shop now to get a couple of things and I am just wondering about walking there. There are so many things I don't do because I don't want the moaning from them and the stropping.

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BellaVita · 09/08/2012 08:45

Let them bloody well moan and strop. Just keep on walking.

Never mind them wanting paying, they live in the house too. Tell them they have to do it.

Take control.

Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 11:14

We walked, it was ok in that there was no real moaning about it but DS1 was vile the whole way there and back to DD. Rude to me in the shop. We both tried to ignore as much as possible but it was really hard. I asked him what he wanted from me. Told me to smack him. I didn't then but he got one later.

DH had said to give him lines. DS1 said I could give him 500 lines but couldn't make him do them. He ran off when near home so I just carried on with the others. He appeared and got on the trampoline. Told him to go to his room. He refused. I told him again and led him up the stairs. Told him to give me the book he had picked up so he threw it behind him and it hit me in the neck. Bloody hurt. I walked away.

He had also said he was being mean to DD so I would send her to nanny's.

I have no control and don't know how to get any.

He is sucking his thumb on his bed and has been there for 45 minutes.

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Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 12:58

Had lunch. PLayed in
garden. Has kicked off, no idea why. telling me he doesn't have to do as I say and doesn't respect me. Is repeating back to me what I have said and telling me to slap him. Have told him to stay in his room until I call him. I am really scared that I will lose control. SO far I have kept it but oh my goodness I can see why people get so cross. He is 11 ffs and I can not take any more of this.

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BellaVita · 09/08/2012 13:18

He is 11 and no doubt going to high school? He needs to stop tantrummimg like a toddler.

Although at 11 he is probably going through some hormonal changes and perhaps a "few allowances" could be made - ignore the small stuff. Siblings do bicker - sometimes you need to let them get on with it.

Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 13:19

He has just come down and is apologising now to me and dd and ds2.

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wellwisher · 09/08/2012 13:25

11 is quite big to hang out with mum and younger siblings all day every day - where are his friends? Can you palm him off onto someone else help him arrange stimulating social activities with children his own age?

I suspect your appointment on Friday will take aaaaaalllllll day, won't it?

BellaVita · 09/08/2012 13:31

Can he get a bus to where his friends hang out during the day?

DS2 bikes all over to meet up with his friends.

Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 13:33

He has no friends here. The kids here are either away or too young.

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lljkk · 09/08/2012 13:45

They moved house & the 11yo hasn't made local friends, Wellwisher.
Still feeling for you, OP.
Can you leave the 11yo at home next time U go to shop?
If you can afford Geo-caching could you afford holiday club, give you some time off? Or other organised activities in your area? Tell us your nearest big town & I'll try to find something on for kids their age that would let you offload them for a while? Mine have a few regular activities & clubs going on this summer, helps fill the time.

BellaVita · 09/08/2012 13:46

Can he bike or get a bus to where his old friends are?

thestringcheesemassacre · 09/08/2012 14:23

How far away are his friends? Can you organise to have one over for the day and then send him on a day there?
To be honest, I'd be quite bored at that age at home all day with my younger siblings.

What about holiday camps? I have mine in a local one that's only £70 for a week . It's a sport one so they do loads of running around etc

lljkk · 09/08/2012 14:54

I just shoved* my 12yo out the door with Bike + phone + map + 2 quid spending money. Hopefully out of my hair for at least 2 hours. Easily worth the 2 quid!!

*to be fair, he's rising 13, he wanted to go on a 20 mile cycle ride so we planned a route together (luckily live in a rural area) & I told him to expect to get lost a few hundred times.

FireOverBabylon · 09/08/2012 15:06

Could you, or better, could your 11 year old, set up a treasure hunt for his siblings? It could be in your garden or the big park. Also, is there anything you could get them to do together? Maybe cooking pizza? Oldest one gets the knife for onions, next one gets the tin opener for tomatoes, little one gets to roll the dough?

Original poster

JustFabulous · 09/08/2012 15:09

For the last couple of hours or so they have been in the garden, all together, making a den with all their bedding. I am staying away and enjoying a sit down.

There is nowhere for them to go. Stupid place that we live in.

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