How close to family is close enough?

[dizzybiatch]

We are planning a move soon. We are currently 4 hours from any family and would like to be closer. We have just spent our holiday 20 mins from either set of grandparents and that little bit of help and support made life 100 times easier and my relationship with dh much better. Dh and i had time alone together and each of our 3 kids got some one to one.

So the question is how close is close enough.

Dont want to be on top of each other but undecided about how close would be best. Close enough to pop round for a cuppa during the 2.5 hours that youngest at pre school or about an hour away so we can visit easily on a night time or at weekends but no popping in willy nilly!

Anyone got it just perfect and would like to share!

Surely the location of your workplaces and the length of your commutes are the bigger deciding factors than where your family live??

I live 5 mins walk from my mum and sister and about 15 mins walk rom my gran i find it great, MIL is also 15 mins drive away. It's lovely to know i anything was to happen someone is there and if im having a bad day there is always someone around to chat to. DS gets to spend time with not just me but his amily who adore him. DP and i also get time together and sometimes my mum will take DS and DN to the park giving me an hour in the house.

I would hate to live far away i think it's a great thing to have family around for yourself and your DCs, maybe not 5 mins away i your not used to it but close enough you can pop over. As long as your family aren't the type to turn up unannounced and outstay there welcome it's great.

I live 5 mins from my parents which is fab for helping with my two dd's and they can pop round and take them out for an hour to the park etc. we have a rule where we have to ring before going round each others to make sure it is ok which works really well

marjorie my dh works away and i am sahm so we can live anywhere within reason of DH work 'base'. Currently we are 2.5 hours away in one direction and parents 2 hours in opposite direction. So in theory if we moved to within and hour of family he would be closer to work providing it was in the right direction iykwim?

I wouldn't want to be too close to family that my dc could walk there because i honestly think my eldest would never leave or it would certainly cause problems getting him away from their place as he is golden balls which he loves but the favouritism drives me mad. Being 30 mins- hour would maybe be more ideal for us.

Thanks for the replies.

I live a 4 minute drive from my mum, dad, 2 sisters and brother, they live 1 minute away from my grandparents who live in the street next to my uncle and his family. Even my great nan lives 5 minutes away (makes us sound interbred - we're not I swear).

All of this is great. I find they are actually great about calling first if they are popping up etc. The only thing is we also live 5 minutes away from both his parents and his sister - this I could do without

I would say as long as it's not in the same street - the closer the better. My DS loves having his grandparents so close and he has such a nice relationship with my family I wouldn't change for the world. x

I used to live 5 mins from my parents and now I live 20 mins away. I wouldn't live any further tbh, because if its too far, then it becomes a very big ask to get them to collect the dh from school for you, or whatever it is you need them to pop over and do. I feel 20 mins drive is the maximum of the 'can you pop over and XXX for me' ask. Any more than this, and I wouldn't feel too comfortable.

However, I found 5 mins away was better - so long as you make your boundaries clear. I was very lucky not to have parents that liked to pop in unannounced (and tbh, its not the sort of thing I like generally, and so my parents never did that) but I could see that this could be a problem if you have that sort of family and you're too close.

We live next door to my parents which could be weird but they are very big on respecting our privacy so never really pop round. I however invade their privacy all the time :). We do however live 40 mins from pil which is close enough I feel :)

We live 5 mins from PIL and SIL, we hardly ever see them...

we're a 20min walk from dh's and a 20min drive from my parents.

it works for us because the way the city is laid out we never have cause to walk along dh's parents' street and they wouldn't have cause to walk along ours, we don't 'drop by' and neither do they but we can with a quick ring to check and we can have a drink with them and walk home.. my parents don't really drink so i don't mind driving home from theirs. i think that's perfect.

When Dd was born we lived 20 mins walk from my parents, however we've had to move twice since and are now 1.5 hrs drive. Looks like we'll have to move again just after ds is born, so we'll be even further away.

It makes me very sad to keep edging away, I would love to live in the same town again. Maybe one day.

So to answer your question, same town is ideal imo.

I live one hour from my parents and two hours from PILs. For me that works well - parents close enough to come for the day but not to just pop in, PILs too far to come for the day but easy reach for a weekend. I guess it depends on the relationship you have with your family!