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Original poster

Make up for 4 year olds - tell me I am not the only 'mean' mum who won't allow it

61 replies

MrsLatcher · 07/08/2012 13:29

Just hoping I am not alone here because all of my dds friends have or are getting make up (aimed at kids obviously). I hate this and think it looks awful. I feel strongly that it is wrong for young girls but my daughter really wants it. Does anyone else have this problem? What do you say to dd when she asks for it? Thanks.

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shewhoknowsall · 09/08/2012 09:53

My 4.5 DD loves make up and always has. She has all older cousins so was around make up from a very young age. Both DH and I are against young girls wearing make up but DD has been allowed to put some make up on at home and then it's wiped off pronto. No way would she be allowed outside with it. I remember being fascinated with it when I was a young girl so I completely understand why DD would be interested. She loves her nails painted so that it what we compromise on. We feel that is what works for us best.

DillyTante · 09/08/2012 10:11

Cannot imagine putting make up or nail varnish on my 23 month old. And how can you tell if a 1 year old is a girlie girl? Mine just likes to climb on the sofa and watch Peppa Pig!

Dd1 (5) has been allowed nail varnish on as an incentive for not biting her nails but never to school. My mum bought her a lipgloss recently which I was pretty uncomfortable about but fortunately being 5 she used it all up in about 3 days.

I'd love to get me her the Tinkerbell nail varnish though, do they still make it?

DillyTante · 09/08/2012 10:16

Wearing make up does not necessarily equal taking pride in your appearance.

But also why would you want to bring your children up with the attitude that appearance matters do much at a young age?

I get that you are just playing with the blusher brush with her and not exactly troweling it on, but I wouldn't want to encourage a desire for make up at such a young age.

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Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 09/08/2012 10:30

My dd's recently came back from visiting an Aunty and they both had dark purple painted toenails. Apparently Aunty was doing hers and they wanted to join in, which is normal enough, but it looks awful. It's really dark and very obvious and in the summer they're running about in sandals. I feel chavvy.

My 3yo dd has now taken to climbing up the vanity in my bathroom and helping herself to my makeup. I found her and my makeup bag covered in the stuff. Sweet but also a complete mess.

LackaDAISYcal · 09/08/2012 10:32

My 5yo has some hello kitty lipgloss and wash off nail polish. It's for playing with mostly, and she likes to paint her little brother's face. I also let her have some sparkles on her cheeks for parties etc

She got given a Lelli Kelly make up wand in the shoe shop recently I think the shop assistant took pity on her because I wouldn't buy her the shoes (which I find more offensive than a bit of gloss and sparkles). I didn't realise what it was till we were out of the shop though, I thought it was just a wand.

But then again, I was at a wedding recently and had some fake nails on as I bite mine and they look hideous. DD was fascinated (and why wouldn't you be at that age with something you had never seen before) so I got her some flowery stick on nails. So shoot me It was a bit of fun, unlikely to be repeated.

LackaDAISYcal · 09/08/2012 10:38

If DD asks is she pretty/beautiful etc, I reinforce that its not looks but personality and being kind, happy, loving that are important and what make people attractive. I think we have a good balance, and will (hopefully) avoid repeating my teens where make-up was totally taboo so we rebelled by nicking testers and applying it liberally, and cleaning our faces before going home

HugeMedalTally · 09/08/2012 10:42

Frankly, I don't see the harm, so long as its just for play, like play cups and saucers or a doll's cradle.

It's probably a passing fad, and next month they'll all want to play football.

OTOH, there's no reason why she should have everything her friends have, or everything she asks for. So, if your answer is "no", then that's fine, as well.

HugeMedalTally · 09/08/2012 10:44

Incidentally, my 13yo DD doesn't wear any makeup, but my 11yo DD likes to wear some mascara and coloured lip gloss on special occasions.

katielou2012 · 09/08/2012 14:30

I didnt mean my daughter taking pride in her appearance i meant me! But by the sounds of it some of the women on here think that that enhancing your natural beauty with make up is the devils work! Thankyou hugemedaltally it is only play! is letting ur daughters playing with dolls going to mean they will be teenage mothers? No it doesnt. And dillytante i can tell my daughter is a girlygirl because she plays with dolls not action men, she loves anything disney princess and adore playing with handbags and purses preferebly pink ones!

MysticMugBug · 23/10/2012 23:25

LackaDAISYcal, that's a lovely philosophy!
with that approach, i am sure your children will always be happy with themselves and well adjusted. Whenever i look after kids i emphasise the worth of a good heart and that you shouldn't judge people on what they look like because it's irrelevant.
I wear light make up myself, but i don't like to feel i am doing it to impress anybody, but for myself only.

LittleBearPad · 23/10/2012 23:32

But Katie, she's not even two!

Solo · 23/10/2012 23:55

I wouldn't let my Dd 5.10yo wear make up but she sometimes asks for lip gloss if I'm using it and I might just put the tiniest spot of colourless on her lip and spread it around (virtually nothing there).

She does occasionally have clear nail varnish on her finger and toe nails and has, this summer worn a dark burgundy colour on her toe nails and it looked lovely. Wouldn't make a habit of it though.

thegreylady · 25/10/2012 20:00

I would never ever under any circumstances sully the perfect skin of a small cild [under 12] with artificial colour/general muck.
Nail varnish for parties maybe from school age but when age is measured in months...

MacMac123 · 25/10/2012 20:41

Dillytante: the bottom line is appearance does matter!! Very much. I wish my autistic 29 year old sister who always looks a mess with yellow teeth and greasy hair would understand this basic life principle. She would actually be less lonely and more able to lead a 'normal' life despite all her ways IF she understood her appearance mattered and is one of the reasons noone likes her.
And that is not me being mean - that is a result of a lifetime of watching someone I live become utterly socially ostracised and I believe she would find life much easier if people didn't instantly turn away from her for looking so dreadful.

I have a DS who I try to encourage to take pride in his appearance. When he has a nice outfit on, I send him to have a look in the mirror. When hes having a particularly good hair day, I tell him his hair looks good. He also likes getting my blusher brush and putting my powder on my face.

Anyway, just think a bit of kids make up for treats does no harm (although a full make up bag sounds excessive!!). And there is nothing wrong with encouraging a child to take pride in his/her appearance!

Kingsfold · 25/10/2012 20:43

My Dd is 8.5, and has no make-up. I don't wear it, and she certainly isn't going to!

Strawhatpirate · 25/10/2012 21:02

Would you be able to trick her with some lip balms in exciting flavours or interersting packaging Mrs Latcher? Then maybe she would feel like she owns makeup without actualy owning any at all. Like the ones in claires that are shaped like cans of coke. They have a nice smell but won't effect her apearance.

GimmeIrnBru · 26/10/2012 20:55

I'm probably not really qualified to comment on this as I've got two boys, but I'd say if I did have a DD then she would not be allowed make up at this age. It just seems wrong somehow!

colditz · 26/10/2012 20:58

Well, I allowed makeup for my boys at four, with the proviso that I get to take pictures of them with a face full of clown paint!

I think four year olds look hilarious in make up. The more garish the better. Ds2 used to put my bra over his shoulders and shout " I've got boobies!'

colditz · 26/10/2012 20:59

My dsd has her own make up bag here. The rule is she can play with it whenever she likes, but it is a toy. If we are going somewhere she wouldn't go in dress up clothes, that includes make up.

colditz · 26/10/2012 21:01

I used to bribe ds1 with green nail polish to let me cut his toenails.

SavoyCabbage · 26/10/2012 21:02

I didn't even like putting make up on my two for the school play a couple of weeks ago. They are 5&8.

I wear make-up every day.

colditz · 26/10/2012 21:03

Kings fold, ha. Just .... Ha.

My mum doesn't wear makeup, and neither did I at eight, but my god, by the time I was twelve I had so much really appalling make up, that I had squirrelled away from boot sales, friends mums had given me, etc.

My mother could not stem the tide. She kept saying "but you are so beautiful without it!" And I would reply 'I know. But this is really, really good fun!"

Kingsfold · 26/10/2012 21:05

Ha indeed. My sister wears even wears make-up to walk her dogs. She got the make-up gene.

TeaBrick · 26/10/2012 21:05

As I explained to my 4 year old ds when he asked if he could have some on, makeup is for grown ups. The answer would be the same if I had a dd instead of a ds.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 26/10/2012 21:07

when dd1 was 4 she was placated with some peel-off nail polish

she's gone off the whole make-up thing now.

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