Childminder of nursery?

[SalsaP]

I know this is hugely down to personal choice but I am really undecided as to whether to have my baby looked after by a childminder or put him in a nursery.

Initially I was convinced I would prefer him to be in a nursery as there would be plenty of other staff to fall back on if the need arose. My mother also put me off the childminder route as she thought it was reassuring to have extra pairs of eyes, ears and hands on the situation.

The thing is the local nurserys aren't that appealing, they are adequate but not outstanding, and I have been recommended a childminder. I will need to start him in September when I go back to work and he will be just under 9 months old. He won't be full time he will only need looking after each weekday afternoon.

I'd really appreciate it if you would share your thoughts and experiences please.

The best thing you can do is go and visit as large a selection of both as you can. You will know the right place for your DS when you find it.

For me, it was a nursery - I was very impressed with the staff and facilities, and now my DD has been there over a year, I am still very pleased with it. The childminders I visited didn't come close. But you will get the opposite view also - so it's down to what's best for you and LO.

I send my DD to a childminder for 2 days a week. I didn't initially like the idea of a nursery because I thought it was a bit impersonal, & that DD would get more focus with a CM. she went there from about 10 months. She settled well, but there are things to take into consideration. I didn't realise that until I started seeing CM's how none of them own a cot. The babies sleep in pushchairs which surprised me. Most childminders have a school run to do as well, so its a good idea to see if this will fit in with whatever routine you may have already? I do wonder now too if she would develop quicker at a nursery as they seem to be more educational? These are all things you should check out before you make the choice. Me & DP preferred DD to remain in a home environment doing things she normally does. I think she would have been too overwhelmed by a nursery. Do your research. You will just know when you find the right option. If there is any ounce of doubt in your mind about somewhere, I would choose something else

Visit lots of places. I was set on a CM but none of the ones round my area really worked for me. I found a family-run nursery that I really liked in the end.

But what became important during the process (warm atmosphere, cuddles, affection, relaxed attitude) was not what I thought at the start (super educational, regimented, amazing premises and so on).

So as you go round, you are likely to find what is most important to you. I knew in my gut when I found the right place as it was the first nursery/CM that I thought: "Oh - these people totally get how precious my baby is to me. I think this might be the place for him."

As other posters have said, when you find the right place, you will know - so look at LOTS of possibilities.

Do think about how much 1 to 1 talking your child will have - language development is incredibly dependent on your baby being spoken to directly. I felt strongly that I wanted my children looked after by carers who had English as their first language, which meant that we went for a childminder who only had 2 babies with her for most of the day, rather than a very swish nursery that had amazing facilities but a very international staff with a high turnover.

My dd has always slept in a cot at childminders. Different cots in different rooms for little ones. If she falls asleep in buggy on school run is transferred to cot.
Love the home environment. Dd genuinely part of childminders family. Loads of simulation and hugs etc.
Saw some really lovely nurseries but felt dd needed more individual environment.
Dd actually gets really excited about school run and seeing older kids.
So happy we chose childminder.
But friends of ours really happy with their nurseries.
Worth seeing loads and seeing what gels with your own parenting style.

I went for a nursery, as I was worried about how I would manage CM's holidays, sickness etc. DH doesn't get paid if he doesn't work, and my annual leave is pretty regimented (if I have the week between xmas and NY off, I can't have it the next year, for example). So, we'd find it very difficult to manage synchronising our holidays with a CM's.

Also, DS really benefits from having the large indoor and outdoor play areas as he is a really energetic, physical child. His two key workers (one when he was under 2, then a new one when he moved to the next room).

Interestingly, quite a few of my friends moved their DC's from a CM to a nursery when they reached about two, I think so they would be spending time with more children.

But, you know your child, so need to do what suits you.

Well, some say a childminder or nanny is better as young children need secure attachments to one adult rather than a group setting, and nursery settings can raise cortisol levels in under 3s (I'm specifically thinking of Steve Biddulph raising babies). May be worth a look...

I initially thought DS would go to our local nursery as I thought it met my criteria, plus its a 10 min walk from my house and next to DH work but when it came down to it, it just didn't feel right.

I then placed an ad on childcare.co.uk specifying my requirements and met every cm who contacted me. I went with the first cm in the end as she felt like the right person as soon as i walked through her door. That was before I saw her playroom leading in to a secure garden with lots of toys etc... I think you just have to go on gut instinct.

CM works for us because I am self employed, working 2 days a week, and need flexibility in those days which nursery just couldn't offer me.

I initially wanted DS to go to nursery so he would interact with lots of other children but my cm meets up with other cm's so he gets that same interaction. Plus she takes him on lots of lovely days out to farms, soft play, library, park etc.. He mixes with more older children than he would at nursery and developmentally he has come on leaps and bounds!

When DS first started with CM she would send me several photo messages each day to assure me he was ok. Now he is VERY settled she sends me any cute pics.

Another reason why I chose CM was the nursery put all the babies in one room to sleep and stayed with them until they were all asleep. This was never going to work for my ds (or the other babies in the room) as he likes to noisily sing himself to sleep and can't bear anyone being around him when he's tired! DS sleeps in a travel cot in a spare bedroom at CM's. All the CM's I met had travel cots in quiet rooms.

Sorry that got a bit long, basically just go with your gut instinct!

I chose a CM because DS went when he was 9 months (i went back to work FT) and i had heard that for babies it's better that they have the consistency of one person caring for them on a daily basis and more one to one care in a home environment which is what they would be getting at home. When the older children were at school my DS was the only child at the CM's for the first few months, which meant they developed a good bond. My CM is also extremely flexible, even at short notice, and has had only one day sick in over a year. She advises us of holidays far enough in advance for us to arrange alternative care and she's also very reasonably priced which you won't find with nurseries due to their overheads. When DS is entitled to his free nursery sessions i'll probably send him though because by then he may benefit from more structured activities and interaction with other children his own age. He's an extremely happy, confident and healthy little boy so it's worked for us. That said, plenty of people will say the same about nurseries too. Tbh DS is probably the kind of child who would have been fine with whatever we chose. A CM just suited us better and we had two good reference (my two DSDs, who the CM also looked after when they were little)!

I chose nursery, mainly because I wanted my children to have a gentle introduction to a 'school' type setting over a period of years, rather than be thrown in at the deep end at age 4. Also, I didn't want a pseudo-mother figure in their lives, or another house to be their second home.

I was another who was initially looking at a nursery. However, the good local nursery had a waiting list that meant I would have had to put down DD1's name before she was conceived to be sure of getting a place! So, I looked into CMs, and visited all those who had a vacancy. I ended up with a fabulous CM who has looked after all 3 of my DCs - we've been with her for 8 years now! I liked the family atmosphere, she clearly loves the children she cares for, as do the rest of her family. She takes the children to toddler groups and then will do drop-off and pick-up at the local preschool, so the children do get introduced to the idea of 'school' gently. However, one bonus I have is that she works with another CM (her own grown-up daughter) so we are rarely left with no childcare even if one of them is poorly, which is a big consideration. It also means she will, if at all possible, drop children to swimming lessons and such like after school as there are two qualified carers there.

When the DDs were babies, she did everything possible to fit in with their routines. She has three travel cots, and these are put up in the bedrooms each day and used for the babies' naps (though you should have seen the photos the day DD2 managed to reach a tub of aqueous cream when the CM thought she was sleeping...). All my DDs liked to be cuddled to sleep (I am such a soft touch) so she would do that for them, and generally goes with what suits that particular child.

Visit all the different options, and go with what fits best with you, your child and your family.

I went to visit the nursery my dd goes to and the ladies asked me to leave her in the room that she would be in if she attended whilst we looked around with the manager. I was very impressed with the nursery and the things that the manager was telling me, but what nailed it for me was when I went to collect my dd. The ladies had asked me if she could have a finger sandwich because the other babies were eating and I had said yes. As I approached the room I could see dd sat on one of the ladies' knee and they were just about to take her bib off and wipe her face. DD kicked off by throwing herself back and starting to create and the lady just gently laid her down across her knee and wiped her face. She then lifted her up and handed her a distracting toy and within 10 second dd was smiling again. The lady stayed so calm and handled her so gently despite my dd really kicking off. It sounds so silly, but I just knew they would cope with my demanding madam perfectly! My nursery also gives me a report at the end of the day that tells me what she has eaten, how many poos she has done, what time she has napped, what activities she has done - its lovely! They have a sleep room but also baby rockers in the room so they can rock baby to sleep if needed. The nursery got a 'good' from ofsted, but I am a teacher so I know that an ofsted inspection does not always reflect the ethos of the place and its staff. The best thing to do is to look around the nursery and get a feel for the place. Good luck xx

I don't like the idea of nurseries for babies.
I think it must be incredibly stressful/overwhelming for them.
I would look for a good CM instead.

Ok, thanks all. I think I'm veering towards a CM as we went and visited a really lovely one the other day. Still, any more thoughts appreciated!

Agree with importance of going to visit some. There are excellent nurseries, excellent CMs, crap nurseries, crap CMs.

I've used one nursery and 2 CMs in total so far and my feeling is:

DSs CM at the moment is very educational with DS2, who is 2 years old. She is quite aware of his language delay, works at things to give him opportunities to develop it, keeps me informed with everything. She is also very loving and practical - I love the fact he goes to kiss her when we get there on a morning / leave at the end of the day. He has also formed very close bonds with the CMs children, they are almost like a second family to him.

DS2 at 4 goes to a nursery, which is also brilliant. He mixes with a lot of different children, does some structured group activities, lots of messy play, loads of outside space and likewise has formed some close relationships with the ladies who work there.

I am sending DS2 to the same nursery when he gets to 3. He could go now (and it would save me £9 a day!), but I feel like he is developing more at his CMs. The nursery DS1 goes to is great, but I feel they get more benefits there from following instructions, how to socialise and get on with other kids, learning things like putting away after themselves. Basically, getting them ready for school.

Both CMs and nurseries do similar activities - singing, messy play, going out and about, role play, free play with toys etc. I just feel that the one-on-one relationship DS2 has developed is right for his age right now. But I can see a time when he will benefit more from the structure / more kids environment of nursery.

Incidently, DS1 went to a CM years ago, but I wasn't too happy with her!!

Sorry for waffle - you'll know it's right when you find it, whether it's a CM or nursery.