Will picking my battles end up spoiling my DS?!

[Daisy17]

My DS is 15th months old, loving and gorgeous AND spirited and sometimes quite defiant..... He isn't too bad re tantrums and we never give in to him over them. However, I'm definitely avoiding situations that I know will set him off, ie he's more likely to eat a decent tea if I let him get down out of his chair halfway through and eat the rest as he potters about. Is this wise or will he end up never being able to sit nicely at the table even when he's 15?! I know it sounds silly but DH and I are so worried we're building up problems for later on. And yes he is PFB..... [Grin]

Sorry that should be eg, there are lots of little situations that are the same....

No, of course it won't - we all pick and choose what is important to us, and what we can let go. To my mind, it's about making things achievable, and getting into the cycle of being able to praise him for doing something smaller, than expecting things that are hard, and constantly being disappointed.

For me, I have always gone with "when you get down from the table you have finished your meal" as it is something that is importnat to me, but at that age I'm sure mine were still in high chairs so the notion of 'getting down' never came into it. However, as you say, that's just an example and I'm sure mine have got away with loads of things that other parents would then be stricter on.

I have 3 daughters and each of them has wandered around whilst having their dinner - highchairs didn't last past 15 months or so. My youngest is 18 months and now sits at the table for the duration of her dinner, but between 14 months and about 2 weeks ago, she liked a dander whilst eating.

My elder daughters (now 7 and 4) did exactly the same thing at the same age , they now sit at the table for any length of time eating and having a chat etc.

Sounds a good plan to me. Try and be consistent and don't go back on punishments but a bit of flexibility is a good thing. (I thought ALL 15 month olds were spirited and defiant )

Have fun.

Aw, thanks both for your fab and useful replies - ironically he sat in his high chair and ate a whole bowl of chicken and mash and two fruit pots with no fuss whatsoever tonight! Will play it by ear in future re his mood, then, and not worry unduly..... [Smile]

Sorry, cross posts, thanks you 3!

Definitely agree with everyone else. For me, the mess of clearing up a wandering eater is worth the encouragement to stay in his booster seat to eat - BUT we don't insist on breakfast at the table, we often share a bowl of cereal in front of the tv.